ShootingStar1

What about talking to the domestic violence people in your area? They might have some advice, they've surely heard threats before.

And tomorrow, you can get a locksmith and change and put better locks on your doors.

Take care,
ShootingStar1

Confetti

You could always get the locks changed. Yes, a determined person can always break in if they want. For a few nights, I didn't sleep well until the locks were changed over. I could have asked for the keys back, but that would only perpetuate things. (Plus, i thought he'd just go get another set cut and return the old one). When I changed the locks, i didn't even tell him. I know that it may sound bad, but I kicked him out, he knew he was no longer welcome. It didn't seem like there was anything to discuss about it.

I think that the more distance that you put between yourself and him, the better. He sounds as though he is very troubled.

PohsFriend

that's the answer. You already have an *******, he is this somewhat redundant.

Hang in there sweety, if you get lonely, get a puppy :-)

PohsFriend

Oops, stars were for a certain slang word for his rectum

Rosiepetal

I just put my dog down on Friday posh

Rosiepetal

I feel disgusting.
I went out with this man (xabf) for 21/2 years.
I gave him love & support & supported him off drugs.
Now I have seen his true colours.
Did he do this to many women while we were together? Telling them not to stuff it up for him with me & threatening them. I can almost guarantee he slept with his ex hes with now while we were together because I know she wanted to & he said no because of me. I now think it was an outright lie. And then the time a women rung me accidentally at 3.30am on his phone? Oh no she happened to borrow his phone.
I lived a lie for 21/2 years.
I wished I'd never set eyes on him.
I am so angry for being sucked into this mans life & dam angry I now have to go back to the beginning of recovery as this is all fresh again.
To think, I told him I loved him & wished him & his new lady well.
I don't like her, I don't know her but surely she deserves the truth but if I find a way to tell her he will burn my house down. He said it over & over.
I know, let sleeping dogs lie right?
No wonder he thought so poorly of himself, because he is bad person.
I am a good person. I won't let him destroy me.
I do however hope that he goes on to have a miserable life with ex & that he drinks more & more & looses everything to alcoholism.
Grrrr.
Sorry vent, vent.

SparkleKitty

Vent away, my dear, you have earned it.

If you can go NC with him and everyone involved with him, maybe that would be helpful for you right now. I know you have a separate relationship with his mother but it might be too confusing just now.

And you are not going back to the beginning in your recovery. This does not erase your progress; it can't. Convincing yourself that you haven't gotten anywhere is just a way of undermining yourself. You deserve more credit than that.

lillamy

My AXH stole my daughter's house key (her key to my house) when they were over there for visitation. I don't know the proper vocabulary, but you can actually pull out the "center" of the lock (you'd have to have someone house sit for an hour or so) and take it to a locksmith, and they can rekey it for you. Cost me $25 for two locks.

Rosiepetal

Sparklekitty, his Mum rung me today & came around to get the hedgeclippers I had & bought a xmas card around as I'd sent her one.
I so wanted to say stuff but it would be inappropriate & for now I have to avoid her to, it's the only way.
It's sad but her son has made it this way & I'm not about to tell an 85 yr old her son is a scarey monster, I just wouldn't.

jessiec

Girl, anything I say is said with love and because I relate to what you are going through (not with my RABF so much, but past relationships).

Remember how you feel right now. This disgust. This pain. This fear (for your life in more way than one -- his threats and life-threatening disease. Accept that he cheated on you if he cheated with you). This regret. This betrayal. This violation. This abuse. This deception. This ugliness. This humiliation. And *never* forget it.

This is your bottom. Right here.

Be done with this man, if you can call him that.
Be done with thinking you are less than.
Be done with lowering yourself.
Be done with being used.
Be done with being a victim.

Much love.

ZiggyB

You don't need to apologize to me... I am more concerned for you, I want you to be healthy emotionally and not in turmoil over this relationship. Cut the cord, I know it's difficult!

Maylie

I would def. change all the locks in the house if he has a key.

As for him having old gang connections, all I can say is be careful. Try to just cut all ties with him. If you really start to fear for your safety you could move (I live in an apartment so when the lease is up I could just pick up and go but I don't know your situation). It seems like a mind your business, don't stirr up anything, stay out of his way and forget him kinda thing in order to protect your safety.

redatlanta

Change the locks today.

Don't even think about calling the new woman unless you want your home to be a pile of ashes. You don't owe her anything. He will only tell her its a lie anyway and you are crazy, and then he will take care of you. Goal here is for ex a*****e to move along and forget you exist not to provoke the hell out of him.

The icky yuck disgusting feeling you have will dissipate - probably pretty quickly but there will be enough remnant of it to keep you from doing it again.

Take care of yourself and sorry to hear about your dog .

Rosiepetal

I had an email of jokes from axbf today, no message, I did not respond.

Now I have a text on my phone saying "sorry about sat night, i regret it now, feel stink" I have not responded.