Neverending Cycle
 

My husband and I have been together now for 8 years and we decided to recently have a baby. I never realized how much he was drinking and feel stupid for not seeing it earlier. He is a functioning alcoholic and can actually acheive straight A's in school and never experiences a hangover.

When I was about 4 months pregnant, he took it upon himself to quit drinking and realized he did have a problem. He went to the doctor and put himself through a medicated detox program in September. I became aware of the problem at this time.

Ever since then things seems to just be getting worse. He hasn't been able to quit and now hides alcohol from me. Whenever I find it, he lies, makes excuses, and starts a fight with me trying to blame it on me for attacking him. Just last week he claimed he was putting himself through detox again and last night he was back to drinking. I worry he will never quit and now that I am 8 months pregnant, I can't rely on him to drive me to the hospital.

I found a local class for family dealing with alcoholism that I am going to attend. I still haven't been able to convince him to see a counselor. I guess I am wondering what steps I should take to help him quit and reduce the arguments.

First of all, welcome to this Forum, but sorry for what brought you here. I'm sorry you have to deal with this at any point in life, but especially at 8-month's pregnant.

Read the "stickies" at the top of the Forum page, and here's a link to one in particular. The punch line to all of your questions is this: you can't do a darn thing to help them - they need to do it themsleves. No amount of: screaming, begging, crying, sweetness, sadness, controlling, manipulating (they do enough of that themselves), and guilting, will get them to recover.

More people will be along soon to offer support and experiences. Take care of yourself and your baby - those are the only two things you can control right now.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html

Best of Luck.
C-OH Dad

Quitting will fall on his shoulders. Of course you can google and call places for info on recovery but it's like leading a horse to water... you can't make him drink.

What you can do is seek ALANON and work on you and how you can provide a safe environment for you and your baby, even if it's away from your husband.

I'm sorry you are here for this but so glad you've come. There are great people here who know and understand what hell you are going through. (((Hugs)))

Welcome to the SR family!

Please make yourself at home by reading and posting as often as needed. We are open 24/7 and have members all across the globe.

When I first arrived, I learned about the 3 C's of my husband's alcoholism:

I didn't Cause it
I can't Control it
I won't Cure it

It took me a while to accept that concept. I made myself crazy (as crazy as the alcoholic) in the process of trying to control the outcomes of his drinking. The acceptance of my powerlessness was the beginning of finding my serenity.

Some of our stories are posted in the Stickies at the top. Stickies are older, permanent posts at the top of this main page. In the sticky posts, I am always finding wisdom after reading other members experiences.

Keep reaching out, we are here to support you and we care about YOU.