A Breakthrough? Rock bottom?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 37
I am soooooo happy for you! No contact is actually a wonderful thing at first, because you have alot of feelings you need to process, and you don't want him to get all sober and come back and you still react to him in the same unhealthy ways! I second the Al-Anon meetings (huge help to me). 
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Real World
Posts: 729
Originally Posted by bamboo10 
He is in. He is in good spirits and officially admitted. I know this doesn't mean everything will magically change but I am proud of him for wanting a better life for himself, for making the choice on his own to get help. Three weeks ago when I mentioned the word rehab he said "I don't see that as the solution" And completely shot it down. Now he is choosing to go himself and get help. So tonight I'm happy, I'm proud, and I'm content. I'm sad that it will be no contact for a while-but it is worth it in my opinion.
Progress, not perfection. Progress is Hope's lifeblood, without progress hope withers.
Maybe your boundary was an ultimatum (whoops I have the same one but it's based on a boundary - I won't live with an active alcoholic).
This afternoon my wife has an intake assessment. We agreed in MC a few months ago that drinking again would mean the current plan wasn't enough. She says she hasn't had a drop since ten weeks ago but whatever, the boundimatum didn't have an exception clause if I didn't catch her in the act.
And your progress feeds my hope, if this isnt the beginning of the end of his struggle then maybe it's the end of the beginning, it's an improvement in the odds and it was his idea! I LOVE THAT!
I close out posts most days by signing off with:
I love my wife
Today is a good day
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 342
How wonderful that your ABF is taking steps to help himself. I think it's all semantics about the message you conveyed whether it was a boundary or not.
It seems obvious that you were not interested in continuing in a relationship if he was not going to take care of himself.
It is so great that he is doing this on his own. IMO and with my RAH experience it doesn't seem there is much chance until/unless the A wants to seek help for what ails them and it seems that's what your ABF is doing.
HUGS for you and I agree with TG take care of yourself, maybe attend alanon, not just in case something goes wrong but to better understand yourself and how you deal with the disease of alcoholism and its affect on you.
It seems obvious that you were not interested in continuing in a relationship if he was not going to take care of himself.
It is so great that he is doing this on his own. IMO and with my RAH experience it doesn't seem there is much chance until/unless the A wants to seek help for what ails them and it seems that's what your ABF is doing.
HUGS for you and I agree with TG take care of yourself, maybe attend alanon, not just in case something goes wrong but to better understand yourself and how you deal with the disease of alcoholism and its affect on you.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Nj
Posts: 195
Thanks everyone. I am very happy right now. I have thought a few times today "oh I need to tell him this" and reached for my phone, then remembering he won't get it. That part kind of stinks but I know it is for the best. Having contact with me means having contact with work and that wouldn't be a good thing. I have not been to al-anon in a few weeks because my schedule got crazy and the meetings I like always conflicted. I do however plan on making it a priority to get there next week. I'm on my way to the airport now to see a friend from college in Texas. I think this trip could not have come at a better time. She will be just the distraction I need this weekend :-)
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