Ready but scared as hell....
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: state of confusion
Posts: 67
yes, my heartfelt sympathy is with you. First priority is the babies and your sanity. So sorry the situation is so grim right now, but you will feel better soon knowing you are doing what you must.
with love,
Free
with love,
Free
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 262
well as of now he has not been served. I had to call and complain to get then to have the order out on the road or it could of taken a couple days!!!! Are you serious?????? He already knows i have house locked up and his truck packed. He left work to go home to check on me cause i wasnt answering his calls. Sheriff will call me once he is served. Might not be today. This is so frustrating...
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,334
I think it would be fair to take at least 1/2 the $ ? Can you and the kids go somewhere else for awhile?
My XAH got real nasty. He wiped out the bank account. Can you get a protective order? Is there a chance with the DUI he can go to jail for awhile?
My XAH got real nasty. He wiped out the bank account. Can you get a protective order? Is there a chance with the DUI he can go to jail for awhile?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Orillia, Ont., Canada
Posts: 165
I don't know for sure about PA., but in Canada what he said to you would result in a criminal charge of Threatening; in granting bail, here at least, the Judge would place certain restictions on him, such as staying away from both you and the house, and perhaps ordering financial support to hold you over. Please talk to your local Police about it, and best of luck to you------Rick
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,452
This might be the time to find a lawyer and talk to him/her first thing in the morning. If the Domestic violence agency can't help you themselves, they probably can give you the names of several attorneys who work in this field.
If they can't, try the District Attorney's office. You sure need all the protection you can get. I agree with Carol - -take half the money out of any account you can. It is not unusual for an alcoholic husband to clean out the bank accounts. A lawyer could give you legal advice about your rights.
ShootingStar1
If they can't, try the District Attorney's office. You sure need all the protection you can get. I agree with Carol - -take half the money out of any account you can. It is not unusual for an alcoholic husband to clean out the bank accounts. A lawyer could give you legal advice about your rights.
ShootingStar1
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 262
I meet with a lawyer on friday. Any dom violence issue gets free representation. That is the soonest. AH knows the pfa is coming. He called the courthouse. He took more of his personal belongings out of the house along with his bike and truck. Says he will leave because I dont want him here. His friend left me a message saying ah loves me, we should sit down and talk, dont throw away a good thing, blah,blah,blah. Another alcoholic!!! Its been a hard day and more to come. Trying to stay strong and confident. Thank you all soooo much.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Alabama
Posts: 239
I can't really add much but to say as a husband and a father (8 and 11), your AH is an embarrassment. Anytime you feel getting sucked back in, remember the fear you felt when he threatened you (and peeing in a ashtry probably would do it for me).
I won't go into much detail, but my father left our family (abandoned) when I was 12 (as I like to say, he was a womanholic, never drank). My Mom was embarrassed (they worked in the same hospital), so the gossip burned her ears. She kept her head up, plowed through, man those were tough years (more for her than me). She got the house but he never paid child support. She had her circle of friends and did not get back into real life until around 50. She raised me - I got to spend alot of prime Saturday's with him and the "other woman" - hate him to this day for that alone.
She never said a bad word about him to me, allowed me to spend time with him and we cried many a night together - and survived. More than survived, we are as close as any Mother / Son can be. Today, my Dad is alone and in poor health, my Mom is thriving and alive.
My main point is, you cannot see the exit now, but you are moving in the right direction. I know for a fact that it won't be easy, you will have doubts, but when you come out on the other side, you will have a better life. And more, your kids will have the ultimate respect for you, they know he is toxic (his choice) and you are looking out for them.
Sounds like you are taking all the available help, I wish you the best of luck!
Toss
I won't go into much detail, but my father left our family (abandoned) when I was 12 (as I like to say, he was a womanholic, never drank). My Mom was embarrassed (they worked in the same hospital), so the gossip burned her ears. She kept her head up, plowed through, man those were tough years (more for her than me). She got the house but he never paid child support. She had her circle of friends and did not get back into real life until around 50. She raised me - I got to spend alot of prime Saturday's with him and the "other woman" - hate him to this day for that alone.
She never said a bad word about him to me, allowed me to spend time with him and we cried many a night together - and survived. More than survived, we are as close as any Mother / Son can be. Today, my Dad is alone and in poor health, my Mom is thriving and alive.
My main point is, you cannot see the exit now, but you are moving in the right direction. I know for a fact that it won't be easy, you will have doubts, but when you come out on the other side, you will have a better life. And more, your kids will have the ultimate respect for you, they know he is toxic (his choice) and you are looking out for them.
Sounds like you are taking all the available help, I wish you the best of luck!
Toss
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