"Flight" with Denzel Washington - a must see movie for functioning alcoholics
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"Flight" with Denzel Washington - a must see movie for functioning alcoholics
Today I went to see the movie Flight about a functioning alcoholic in denial who happens to be a pilot. My husband a functioning alcoholic had no idea what it was about when he picked the movie. If he had, I am sure he never would have gone.
It told the truth in such a realistic way that it was very painful for me and I am sure uncomfortable for husband who is a functioning alcoholic in denial. It was like our lives were being played out on the screen. Like someone read my diary and decided to make a movie of it. At first it was thrilling...but as the movie wore on I felt so tense my lower back was hurting. My husband and I almost never spoke through the movie. I am sure he wanted to get up and leave - but of course he couldn't walk out of the movie for "no reason". Tears ran down my face for at least half of it.
The movie is outstanding and it is getting well deserved Oscar buzz. But my husband just said it was okay. That it was too focused on his "personal life". But I know it made an impact. My husband was able to see himself and how his actions affected others around him. I felt it was very powerful.
I recommend this movie to anyone who has a significant other who is a functioning alcoholic. Go to the movie together with them. I think the movie is very powerful.
Would be interested in hearing other people's feedback on this movie.
It told the truth in such a realistic way that it was very painful for me and I am sure uncomfortable for husband who is a functioning alcoholic in denial. It was like our lives were being played out on the screen. Like someone read my diary and decided to make a movie of it. At first it was thrilling...but as the movie wore on I felt so tense my lower back was hurting. My husband and I almost never spoke through the movie. I am sure he wanted to get up and leave - but of course he couldn't walk out of the movie for "no reason". Tears ran down my face for at least half of it.
The movie is outstanding and it is getting well deserved Oscar buzz. But my husband just said it was okay. That it was too focused on his "personal life". But I know it made an impact. My husband was able to see himself and how his actions affected others around him. I felt it was very powerful.
I recommend this movie to anyone who has a significant other who is a functioning alcoholic. Go to the movie together with them. I think the movie is very powerful.
Would be interested in hearing other people's feedback on this movie.
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Yes, sorry it is a bit of a spoiler. They don't tell you that in that in the movie description. This is no ordinary movie about another drunk guy. I feel like it was really written by a functioning alcoholic. Denzel Washington was so believable. I think it is a great movie for spouses of alcoholics and the functioning alcoholic alike.
I urge everyone to see it. It will haunt you.
I urge everyone to see it. It will haunt you.
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I have mixed feelings. It made me re-live an incredibly painful time in my life. It will be eight years this December since I lived with an active alcoholic loved one and it's amazing how vivid memories can be when reminded.
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Interesting that you found it painful to watch, too. For me it was hard because I was living it. I ask myself why I am still here. Why I am taking this. It made me realize that somehow I have to leave one day.
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Without giving too much away, what incidents in the movie were the most "realistic" for those who live with a functioning alcoholic? Were there alcoholic induced arguments? self-centeredness? Being late for work?
My AH is in total denial about: how long he's been an alcoholic, whether his job has been affected (he's denied missing work, but I know he has many times), how it affects his mood, etc.
My AH used to HATE it when we'd watch Everybody Loves Raymond because when Raymond would be selfish or be sitting on the couch while Debra was trying to get chores done, the show "hit too close to home."
My AH is in total denial about: how long he's been an alcoholic, whether his job has been affected (he's denied missing work, but I know he has many times), how it affects his mood, etc.
My AH used to HATE it when we'd watch Everybody Loves Raymond because when Raymond would be selfish or be sitting on the couch while Debra was trying to get chores done, the show "hit too close to home."
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I'm thinking I'm with Jazz ~ I was thinking that I wouldn't want to see the movie ~
Too much of a reminder of painful memories of a life that I finally was able to get away from and too much of what we deal with in limited contact with our adult A children ~
Just like horror films ~ why do I want to pay good money to be scared to death ~ when Life has already been scary enough ~
Just my take on things - I don't like to watch chic flicks either - so I'm very very limited on my movies - lol
Hope that those that do watch the movie are able to use it to change their lives ~
PINK HUGS!
Too much of a reminder of painful memories of a life that I finally was able to get away from and too much of what we deal with in limited contact with our adult A children ~
Just like horror films ~ why do I want to pay good money to be scared to death ~ when Life has already been scary enough ~
Just my take on things - I don't like to watch chic flicks either - so I'm very very limited on my movies - lol
Hope that those that do watch the movie are able to use it to change their lives ~
PINK HUGS!
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Without giving too much away, what incidents in the movie were the most "realistic" for those who live with a functioning alcoholic? Were there alcoholic induced arguments? self-centeredness? Being late for work?
Don't read further if you don't want to hear about the movie .....
I saw it as the mother of an alcoholic, so my experience is not as a spouse. In the movie, he is no longer married. So, there are no husband/wife interactions ... a scene or two with his ex wife/son so that you get a flavor of what they went through.
Its more the life of the alcoholic- and my RAS (except for one scene) thought it was very realistic.
I will also add I saw it with 15 year old son and was little uncomfortable in the beginning, lol, .... a long period of nudity and realistic drug use. I don't think he minded the nudity, lol. ;- )
Don't read further if you don't want to hear about the movie .....
I saw it as the mother of an alcoholic, so my experience is not as a spouse. In the movie, he is no longer married. So, there are no husband/wife interactions ... a scene or two with his ex wife/son so that you get a flavor of what they went through.
Its more the life of the alcoholic- and my RAS (except for one scene) thought it was very realistic.
I will also add I saw it with 15 year old son and was little uncomfortable in the beginning, lol, .... a long period of nudity and realistic drug use. I don't think he minded the nudity, lol. ;- )
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I don't know if I'll watch it or not. I watched one the other night where one of the main characters got lost in alcoholism and another was just sort of lost. I didn't know what it was about before I watched it either. Desolate and hopeless and very focused on self. What a depressing movie. It threw me off kilter. Ugh.
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Originally Posted by MsPINKAcres 
Just like horror films ~ why do I want to pay good money to be scared to death ~ when Life has already been scary enough
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For those who wonder why it is so realistic...he said and did the things that a functioning alcoholic would do and say. It is the way everyone reacted around him. It felt like reality tv. Denzel was very believable. It is something you just have to see. A spoiler is coming so don't read if you don't want to know....
The scene that got me was when his girlfriend took him to a AA meeting. They asked alcoholics to raise there hand. He didn't. One of the alcoholics started talking about how alcoholism affected him. It was exactly what the rehab counselors were telling my husband so recently. Denzel gets up and walks out.
The other one was when his girlfriend finally left him. That hurt. Then picks up the letter she wrote him - the letter I visualized writing and leaving on the table so many times.
Then there is the poor relationship with his son who wants nothing to do with him. (Not that that is the case with my husband) - but I would say there were many times he was not a good example for his kids and not "there" because of his drinking.
I could go on. Like I said it was so real. It was all the things we talk about on this board.
The hardest part was my husband left continuing to be in denial when he basically was watching his "life" on the big screen. All the things people have been telling him - are the same things people said to Denzel. My husband is also a high performing alcoholic, so he thinks he is fine. He sees how much he hurt his family.
Today when I bring up the movie - he called it a stupid movie and said I was emotional because it's "that time of the month."
Oh god... :-(((
The scene that got me was when his girlfriend took him to a AA meeting. They asked alcoholics to raise there hand. He didn't. One of the alcoholics started talking about how alcoholism affected him. It was exactly what the rehab counselors were telling my husband so recently. Denzel gets up and walks out.
The other one was when his girlfriend finally left him. That hurt. Then picks up the letter she wrote him - the letter I visualized writing and leaving on the table so many times.
Then there is the poor relationship with his son who wants nothing to do with him. (Not that that is the case with my husband) - but I would say there were many times he was not a good example for his kids and not "there" because of his drinking.
I could go on. Like I said it was so real. It was all the things we talk about on this board.
The hardest part was my husband left continuing to be in denial when he basically was watching his "life" on the big screen. All the things people have been telling him - are the same things people said to Denzel. My husband is also a high performing alcoholic, so he thinks he is fine. He sees how much he hurt his family.
Today when I bring up the movie - he called it a stupid movie and said I was emotional because it's "that time of the month."
Oh god... :-(((
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Oh - more spoiler...
Oh, the other point that is strongly made in the movie - is all the lies he tells. And also interesting that his girlfriend in the movie is a drug addict trying to get clean. All my husband's friends are alcoholics. I think my husband and Denzel gravitate to these people because he feels it is easier for them to accept him and his drinking as normal. It was strange that Denzel, an accomplished pilot, would be attracted to someone who was an addict who didnt' even have a place to live. His wife is "normal" like me and so of course can't stand for this. His people on the job realize he is an alcoholic but cover for him. I bet the people at my husband's job knows he is alcoholic.
Anyway.
Oh, the other point that is strongly made in the movie - is all the lies he tells. And also interesting that his girlfriend in the movie is a drug addict trying to get clean. All my husband's friends are alcoholics. I think my husband and Denzel gravitate to these people because he feels it is easier for them to accept him and his drinking as normal. It was strange that Denzel, an accomplished pilot, would be attracted to someone who was an addict who didnt' even have a place to live. His wife is "normal" like me and so of course can't stand for this. His people on the job realize he is an alcoholic but cover for him. I bet the people at my husband's job knows he is alcoholic.
Anyway.
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Denial is a powerful thing to overcome. I am not surprised he wasn't moved by the movie. He's not hiding anything...just doesn't believe he has a problem. He didn't see his life on the big screen. You did.
It's easy to think that because we experience things a certain way, so do others around us who seem to be sharing our reality. I can assure you, your husband is not experiencing your reality.
It's easy to think that because we experience things a certain way, so do others around us who seem to be sharing our reality. I can assure you, your husband is not experiencing your reality.
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We saw it. My husband was floored, said it's the most realistic depiction of addiction he's ever seen. We drove home in silence.
I almost started to sob during it. But then to really mess with my mind, the next night went to see the "The Silver Lining Playbook". The Yin and the Yang.
I almost started to sob during it. But then to really mess with my mind, the next night went to see the "The Silver Lining Playbook". The Yin and the Yang.
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I don't understand when people say the term "functioning alcoholic". I suppose people mean that they can keep a job? I saw the movie (a great movie) & would not consider Denzel Washington functioning in any way except for his job.
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Just for 1....
Functioning alcoholic means mainly you are able to keep a job and even perform reasonable well at it, but your relationships with family and friends are a total mess. Denzel was able to keep a job that required an incredible amount of skill and awareness for about 11 years. That makes him functioning.
When people think of an alcoholic they think of someone who can't hold a job because he is drinking all day and shows up to work drunk. Gets DUIs and his license taken away, etc.
My husband is a top sales man who ranks in the top 3 of his category year after year. He works from home. Sometimes he goes through period of not working, but going to the bar at 7am in the morning and coming home at night with is pants peed, I've seen him collapse near the coffee table, callapse into the tv bruising his forehead, saying he will quit, trying to stop and starting. He has a nice house and great savings (with my help). But he is a drunk who is seconds away from loosing everything and ending up in jail.
Functioning alcoholic means mainly you are able to keep a job and even perform reasonable well at it, but your relationships with family and friends are a total mess. Denzel was able to keep a job that required an incredible amount of skill and awareness for about 11 years. That makes him functioning.
When people think of an alcoholic they think of someone who can't hold a job because he is drinking all day and shows up to work drunk. Gets DUIs and his license taken away, etc.
My husband is a top sales man who ranks in the top 3 of his category year after year. He works from home. Sometimes he goes through period of not working, but going to the bar at 7am in the morning and coming home at night with is pants peed, I've seen him collapse near the coffee table, callapse into the tv bruising his forehead, saying he will quit, trying to stop and starting. He has a nice house and great savings (with my help). But he is a drunk who is seconds away from loosing everything and ending up in jail.
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Did you all tell your a what it was about before seeing it? My a and I rarely see movies in the theatre but I want him to see this. I'm afraid he will see through my reasons for going though. Did you just say hey let's go see flight I heard it was good? Or did you mention the storyline?
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My husband is a top sales man who ranks in the top 3 of his category year after year. He works from home. Sometimes he goes through period of not working, but going to the bar at 7am in the morning and coming home at night with is pants peed, I've seen him collapse near the coffee table, callapse into the tv bruising his forehead, saying he will quit, trying to stop and starting. He has a nice house and great savings (with my help). But he is a drunk who is seconds away from loosing everything and ending up in jail.
This is one of saddest things I've ever read. Heartbreaking . . .
This is one of saddest things I've ever read. Heartbreaking . . .
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