choublak

Here's why I take issue with your saying that alcoholics are brain damaged and that is why they refuse recovery, are in denial, behave unacceptably, etc. One of my cousins is severely autistic. He is about 6 or 7 years old. His brain, as it often is with autism, does not know how to express and process, verbally or otherwise, what is going on inside of him. He screams uncontrollably. Just recently, he has started having seizures. Alcoholics might get like this after years of drinking, after years of "not wanting recovery". But nowadays, with so many recovery programs and so much more information out there, so many more people who are recovering alcoholics, in the media and elsewhere, just so much more "stuff" out there in general, and yet some active alcoholics are still so bent on insisting that they're not the one with the problem, that they don't want to go AA meetings because "it's uncomfortable", etc., I have no "compassion" for that. And you seem to think, that if someone makes up excuses to drink, that it's because of brain damage. I have a few recovering alcoholics who, back when they were still actively drinking, played the blame game. Now, they say their reason for doing so was : "I made bad choices." There's no brain damage there. Now, with my autistic cousin, things are different because he REALLY doesn't have a choice.

The shorter version? Being obnoxious is not okay if you're an intelligent and otherwise decent person who happens to have alcoholism, depression, or what have you.

And you, WishingWell, still haven't answered my question.

Lulu39

Exactly. A close family member of mine has severe autism. That family member has no choice as to their socially unacceptable behavior. None.

My XAH had many choices. He always chose to be abusive, deprive me of sleep, deprive our children of sleep, to be drunk, nasty, rude, obnoxious, abusive, financially abusive, emotionally abusive. He did it in private. Most drunken abusers do. King Baby of the house. Love him sober? I don't think so. LOVE my abuser sober? At this point I don't care what he does to himself as long as he leaves me the f&ck ALONE!

Seren

I think, by now, everyone has had the chance to share and express his or her opinion. Let's all try to to move on from here and offer a helping hand and some hope to the next newcomer. This thread is closed.