Crazy Mary

I was Braylor before the board crashed and couldn't get the old username to work, so here I am... Crazy Mary.

My AH has been back for about 2 weeks and has been doing great. The 6+ weeks at rehab really did wonders, but we both know he has a very long road ahead of him. I can tell you that he is better than he was before for a number of reasons....

1. He knows he has a very serious problem with drugs and drink...
2. The counseling really has help him deal with his emotions better than I could ever imagined. He is being true to himself.
3. He cooks dinner and does laundry now (that alone would have been an improvement)... Even when he is not asked to...
4. The kids are basking in his attention. They just couldn't be happier.

I am still scared and am still dealing with the affair, but am doing better. We met with our counselor yesterday and she helped me to put things in perspective. She is right that his actions are speaking a lot louder than words and I am happy with that. He mentioned that while he was away I was working my program much more than I am now, and he is right. He also said that he couldn't make me work it (and he is right) but he knew that I was stronger when I was working it... I thought about it and here I am.

One day at a time, right? :kisshug:

Gabe

Hey Braylor,
Glad you made it back in.
It's good to hear that progress is being made.
I love the fact that your kids are happier.
Happy kids are a very good thing.
Peace,
Gabe

Magichappens

Hey Braylor/CM,
I am so glad things are going well. Don't beat yourself up for not working as hard. It is a lot easier to work on yourself with no distractions of real life LOL. I can really get to working when I get by myself, but I always have to practice applying what I learned. I think because I understand something I should be able to immediately do it well. Give yourself some credit. All that work you did when he was gone is going into practice now. Don't let his criticism, no matter how well meaning, make you discredit yourself. When my h starts telling me how to work my program, I smile and nod and hear Blah Blah Blah. I don't tell him how to work his program, and it's my business to work mine. Don't get me wrong. I listen to people in my group and my sponsor. But I know that those close to each other like families and spouses have agendas, whether they know it or not. I would never disrespect his opinions, but they are his not mine. My husband will never recognize all the changes alanon has made in my life, and I won't see his changes clearly. That is why I have to keep the focus on me, be good to me, work on me. Because it's for me, not him or anyone else. You be good to yourself. You deserve it. Hugs, Magic

Crazy Mary

First of all Magic, let me say, I love your picture!!!!

Secondly, I appreciate the kind words. He actually was really cool about it when he mentioned it, and he too mentioned that he was not trying to tell me how to work it, but I think he saw me falling right back into the codependent ways that I have become SOOO good at. Anyway, I do feel better when I am here and can see that I am not alone! One day at a time...

Glad to be back guys.

Magichappens

Ann found that picture for me. I love it too. I understand falling back, but your back now. Onward and upward right?