lonelyandlost

My husband has been an alcholic for about 5 years. Starting in January he took it to a whole new level. He started drinking and driving not going to work and staying in a hotel for days on end drinking. Recently the military finally stepped in and sent him to a program which after 5 weeks he quit and started drinking again. So they sent him to a 28 day rehab center.

So he has been in for 10 days. I asked how things are going and he tells me it is none of my business. How involved should I be in his recovery?

I have been reading all of the threads and I am amazed at how similar my story is to everyone elses. One of my biggest concerns is our 15 month old daughter. When do I call it quits?

christalb

I am so sorry to hear about your troubles. My husband is also in the military and suffers from alcoholism. I think the military culture does not do a good job relaying the seriousness of this problem. In one of my husbands training experiences, he spent over 1000$ on booze. It's sick.

I am glad to know the military is helping your husband. I wouldn't be put off by his reaction when you spoke with him. Try to be as loving and supportive as you can. If you give him an ultimatum (say, a year to make significant progress before you move on), don't tell him about it. Keep it to yourself. If the time comes and he hasn't progressed, move on. It's not easy, and you'll beat yourself up if you feel like you didn't give it 100% of your effort for that year. But if you give it your all one more time, you'll walk away saying, "I did everything I could."

Pelican

Welcome to the SR family!

Please continue to post as often as needed. We are here to support you and we understand.

Since your AH (alcoholic husband) does not feel like sharing his recovery at this time, that will give you time to focus on your own recovery.

Have you considered attending local Al Anon meetings for face-to-face support for yourself? I found the meetings to be very helpful in helping me make healthy decisions for myself and my children. The meetings last one hour, but that hour was a much needed break from all the confusion in my head. I had so many thoughts, worries and concerns; and no answers.

It was no surprise that I was scatter-brained. Living with active alcoholism caused me to doubt every decision, thought and feeling.

With my recovery, I learned that I can trust myself to make healthy decisions!

Keep reaching out, here and in your community. Get the support you need while your AH is getting the help he needs. You are worth the effort!

Tuffgirl

Early recovery is tough - the best course of action for me was learning as much as I could about alcoholism and behaviors. I attended AL-Anon, worked my own steps, went to open AA meetings, posed here and in the Alcoholics forum, and listened to others' stories.

I also focused on my own life as much as possible. I learned not to take things so personally, and to detach from his bad moods. It wasn't easy, but it worked.

Keep reading, and keep coming back!
~T