Drinking in front of alcoholic?
 

A friend of mine is coming to dinner this weekend. He is in recovery and is an alcoholic. He has been sober approximately 3 weeks. He ended up in the hospital after having a particularly bad time and mixed his anxiety/depression medication with alcohol. He was in/out of it for 3 days....and after that decided he needed help, signed himself into an inpatient 5 day program, which was extended to 8 because he was looking for a program to go to. Today marked his 5th day in the daily program and his 6th day in the sober house.

THIS IS MY QUESTION......he is coming to dinner on Sunday and I asked another family member of mine to please not drink in front of him. She said I was being ridiculous - he's going to need to learn to be able to handle other people drinking.

I agree that eventually he will need to be able to handle himself in a situation like that, but not 3 weeks into it? Am I being unreasonable? I think she could refrain from drinking wine for the few hours he is going to be here. Her attitude is "get over it"....I don't think he should be in that kind of situation so early on in his sobriety.

Please let me know what you think. THANK YOU.

My opinion as a long-term recovering alcoholic/addict?

No you are not being unreasonable.

Early recovery is difficult enough as it is. :)

When my husband came out of rehab, we were asked to friends for dinner. He said that it would not be a problem if people drank at it. It was too soon - he did not drink but he has not gone out since- 6 months later. Although he has never admitted it, he found it excruciatingly difficult.
I don't think you are being unreasonable- perhaps you could show support by refraining,and hopefully your relative will fools suit.

Sorry iPhone again I meant follow suit.

I would probably ask the person who says you're being "ridiculous" why it's so difficult for her to imagine sitting down to dinner with a group of friends without alcohol? Why does alcohol have to be a given when you get together to share a meal?

Three weeks is still quite early. I think you're very considerate to think of your friend's recovery, because it is a struggle. "Get over it" attitude, imho, is completely selfish and lacks empathy. I think you're a good friend. Personally, I would probably invite him out to dinner without the presence of that family member. But that's me.

No you are NOT being ridiculous you are being VERY THOUGHTFUL of another's
dilemma in his early sobriety.

Since it is your home, and you are having the dinner, it is your right to say NO
alcohol.

Thank you for being such a considerate friend!

Love and hugs,