Toward better holiday memories
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: ny/nj
Posts: 182
Toward better holiday memories
Hello, SR family! Many of us (all?) have had holidays ruined by alcohol. In the spirit of better holiday memories, I offer the following share:
Had some business related contact with the AXF. In the course of the conversation, I asked what he was doing for Thanksgiving. I know, better memories might have started by not asking at all. I'm trying to balance compassion and detachment.
His reply: "hunting with the dog". A lifelong passion that he enjoys. I replied, "that's nice, have a good time, how about later?". He replied "nothing". I asked, "not going to your sister?", His reply "no".
In the (recent) past, I would have been all wound up at the thought of him, sitting alone, estranged from his family, and offered my companionship.
My new health allowed me to wish him a good day, and then put it behind me. His choice, his life. Me? I'm spending the day with a good friend, her kids, and later my kids and my ex-husband. All good.
The proof that I am on the right path? While my AXF wished me a good holiday in very grave, serious tones, he didn't inquire about my plans at all. No interest. All about his pain. I may be projecting a bit here, but I knew him pretty well. He's more than likely having a pity party. I'm not.
I am feeling well and centered these days. May we all have peace, contentment, and gratitude this holiday.
Happy Thanksgiving to All!!!!!
Had some business related contact with the AXF. In the course of the conversation, I asked what he was doing for Thanksgiving. I know, better memories might have started by not asking at all. I'm trying to balance compassion and detachment.
His reply: "hunting with the dog". A lifelong passion that he enjoys. I replied, "that's nice, have a good time, how about later?". He replied "nothing". I asked, "not going to your sister?", His reply "no".
In the (recent) past, I would have been all wound up at the thought of him, sitting alone, estranged from his family, and offered my companionship.
My new health allowed me to wish him a good day, and then put it behind me. His choice, his life. Me? I'm spending the day with a good friend, her kids, and later my kids and my ex-husband. All good.
The proof that I am on the right path? While my AXF wished me a good holiday in very grave, serious tones, he didn't inquire about my plans at all. No interest. All about his pain. I may be projecting a bit here, but I knew him pretty well. He's more than likely having a pity party. I'm not.
I am feeling well and centered these days. May we all have peace, contentment, and gratitude this holiday.
Happy Thanksgiving to All!!!!!
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