Thinking that
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
wahoo - how awesome -
I hope that you will encounter what I did at my first meeting - a room full of everyday people with open arms, open hearts, and open minds - will to allow me to sit with them as they shared the experience, strength and hope about how they have been affected by the disease of alcoholism and how they were doing things to help their lives get better regardless of the actions of their loved ones.
The formats of meetings are different - some are open, some have no cross talking, but you are free to share your name & talk if you want - or say I would just like to listen today - you will probably be given a pamphlet of welcome material and asked to please come back!
Most suggest that you give the meetings about 6 tries before deciding if it's for you are not - it takes a while to get over the newness and see if this meeting is a right fit for you ~
Let me also say congrats to you - for taking a step in a direction to help you to a better life - what a brave thing to do!!
PINK HUGS (hope, unity, gratitude, and serenity)
I hope that you will encounter what I did at my first meeting - a room full of everyday people with open arms, open hearts, and open minds - will to allow me to sit with them as they shared the experience, strength and hope about how they have been affected by the disease of alcoholism and how they were doing things to help their lives get better regardless of the actions of their loved ones.
The formats of meetings are different - some are open, some have no cross talking, but you are free to share your name & talk if you want - or say I would just like to listen today - you will probably be given a pamphlet of welcome material and asked to please come back!
Most suggest that you give the meetings about 6 tries before deciding if it's for you are not - it takes a while to get over the newness and see if this meeting is a right fit for you ~
Let me also say congrats to you - for taking a step in a direction to help you to a better life - what a brave thing to do!!
PINK HUGS (hope, unity, gratitude, and serenity)
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Here's how I handled my first few meetings. I just went. Fear and shame be damned. Bad attitude be damned. Set judgment aside about "those people" just walked through the door of the room and sat down.
What I found: I am judgmental! ; ) I am one of "those" people. Hoping to find a better path to walk on that wasn't so unmanageable. I found like minds, hugs, understanding without having to say a word. I found acceptance.
Go. Not to just one meeting, but to a handful in various locations so you can get a feel of each group until you find one that fits you.
Listen. Sometimes, after a long day and the emotional upset of my home life, it was hard to focus on others' sharing. But I tell you, one sentence would rock my world; the things I learned in those rooms was profound.
And finally, decide to take what works and leave the rest. Al-Anon is a support group, not a cure-all. They are normal folks with their own dysfunctions trying to find some way to cope with it all, just like you. Some folks will irritate you, some you will love, some may make inappropriate jokes, and so on. It's normal.
Now, keep us posted on how it went! ; )
~T
What I found: I am judgmental! ; ) I am one of "those" people. Hoping to find a better path to walk on that wasn't so unmanageable. I found like minds, hugs, understanding without having to say a word. I found acceptance.
Go. Not to just one meeting, but to a handful in various locations so you can get a feel of each group until you find one that fits you.
Listen. Sometimes, after a long day and the emotional upset of my home life, it was hard to focus on others' sharing. But I tell you, one sentence would rock my world; the things I learned in those rooms was profound.
And finally, decide to take what works and leave the rest. Al-Anon is a support group, not a cure-all. They are normal folks with their own dysfunctions trying to find some way to cope with it all, just like you. Some folks will irritate you, some you will love, some may make inappropriate jokes, and so on. It's normal.
Now, keep us posted on how it went! ; )
~T
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
Posts: 6,516
I was scared because I thought if I did walk through those doors, I made it official: My husband was an alcoholic. And if I made that official, I would have to act on it. I think I actually felt like there was a straight and immediate line from walking into that first meeting and either leaving my husband or staging an intervention. Like, within ten minutes of leaving that first meeting.
I also sort of thought that I'd get a "how to make your alcoholic sober" instructional kit.
Neither was true.
What I found was a very diverse group of people brought together by a common experience. Understanding. A complete lack of "people telling me what to do." At first, it was frustrating -- because I was used to being told what to do, think, wear, like, 24 hours a day. And then came the relief: These people were perfectly fine with letting me figure things out. They gave me their stories, which made me feel at home. They gave me their version of recovery, and how the tools Al-Anon provides had helped them.
But that took a while. I think I went to six or so meetings before I started feeling at home.
That's my story.
I also sort of thought that I'd get a "how to make your alcoholic sober" instructional kit.
Neither was true.
What I found was a very diverse group of people brought together by a common experience. Understanding. A complete lack of "people telling me what to do." At first, it was frustrating -- because I was used to being told what to do, think, wear, like, 24 hours a day. And then came the relief: These people were perfectly fine with letting me figure things out. They gave me their stories, which made me feel at home. They gave me their version of recovery, and how the tools Al-Anon provides had helped them.
But that took a while. I think I went to six or so meetings before I started feeling at home.
That's my story.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 137
The first step is always the hardest- I went to a meeting, shaking- I live in a small town and thought everyone would know me!
Although I found it difficult, I just remember the warmth, hugs and feeling of being in the right place for me. These people got me- they understood how i felt- it was amazing!
I made myself go to 6 meetings- I did find the happiness, peace and serenity in the room quite
unnerving after living in turmoil for so long- bur after 6 weeks, I wanted that serenity so badly- that I started to really listen,
6 months later,my meetings are the most important part of my week- I will not miss them for anything. I am so glad for you that you are considering going, and I do hope that you get as much out of the meetings as I have done.
Although I found it difficult, I just remember the warmth, hugs and feeling of being in the right place for me. These people got me- they understood how i felt- it was amazing!
I made myself go to 6 meetings- I did find the happiness, peace and serenity in the room quite
unnerving after living in turmoil for so long- bur after 6 weeks, I wanted that serenity so badly- that I started to really listen,
6 months later,my meetings are the most important part of my week- I will not miss them for anything. I am so glad for you that you are considering going, and I do hope that you get as much out of the meetings as I have done.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: ny/nj
Posts: 182
lillamy, LOL! I for sure felt the same way you did. I would be that dopey girl who had to admit her partner was an alcoholic. And, I would get a "stop him from drinking" tool kit.
I laugh now. I cried for months.
hadenough-Just Breathe. Go, sit, listen. Go back. Go to different groups. Go even if it feels like BS to you. Go if you are an atheist. Listen, breathe, relax in the knowledge that everyone in the room has walked your path.
Best of luck. Keep coming back.
I laugh now. I cried for months.
hadenough-Just Breathe. Go, sit, listen. Go back. Go to different groups. Go even if it feels like BS to you. Go if you are an atheist. Listen, breathe, relax in the knowledge that everyone in the room has walked your path.
Best of luck. Keep coming back.
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