thislonelygirl

ok so my parents were frustrated over everything not just me mind you they have their own lives but had said they worry of course but that they just get grumpy now and then and are sorry and that they enjoyed me being there and im more than welcome to come back to help them out. they are getting older and have physical pains etc makes this snap but that they liked me helping them cook and clean. ok . glad to hear. so aside from that ive been back home for 4 days and ah has done well still in my parania will he keep it up stage but am learning that if he doesnt...dont fret. learning to leave this stuff up to him. if he truly want to stay sober he will. so yesterday he started cravingand bought a case of beers he hid in the house....he asked for my "permission" to have one because his stomach was hurting and just one would help. manipulation anyone? so i poured the others out since he said too left the one on the counter and told him i cant give him "permission" and the he should do what he think is best. i removed myself from that situation and instead of battling with him which i would have done before i just went into my daughters room rocked her to sleep and when i came out i expected the beer to be gone instead ah went to the bedroom and went to sleep and didnt drink the beer. so i poured that one out . today at work he text me that he went to bed to tough it out instead of drink it and that he feels better and glad he didnt drink it.
ok....thats all good and dandy but is not drinking it the same as not buying it?
ridiculous! anyhow he has been doing good we went out to eat the other day and window shopped around and he was sober and actually enjoyed myself. before it was like lets just go home. so hes been doing good up till that point and im hoping it stays that way but im not putting a strain on it. im just going to do me with or without him doing right.

Rosiepetal

Good for you lonely girl.
I remember being there in those times.
Hugs to you.

inpieces314

I think not drinking and not buying are two separate things.

Even though he wasn't thinking about the consequences when he bought it, he was thinking about not drinking it. He knew the whole time it was wrong, that is why he wanted YOUR permission, so it wouldn't be HIS fault. He knew it was wrong. Which is good that he didn't drink it once you didn't give him his permission, because he knew that he was going to make that mistake again.

You have to give him credit for not drinking it. Imagine how hard it is for an alcoholic to not drink when there is nothing in the house. Now imagine how much harder it is for an alcoholic to not drink when he knows there is liquor in the house because he just bought it. The drinking and buying are two separate things.

And I know if my ABF ever walked into a liquor store, his sobriety is done. He wouldn't buy it and stop there.

thislonelygirl

thanks. i am proud he didnt drink it. to me it it made a difference that he just bought it vs drink it but im still learning and thus why i wasnt sure. thanks i feel very good at the way i handled it...ni had to stop and think before i said anything and i discovered something new...no anger.
i wasnt mad i am slowly getting the concept of not controlling or trying to cure it and just leaving it in the hands of my ah. that i can fight and reason but that he has to reason and fight for himself. it was a huge step for me. the first time i did that and he didnt drink it once it was infront.