LifeRecovery

I am so sorry you are going through this (all of it).

Sending warm thoughts your way tonight.

Pelican

I'm sorry you are in this situation. You must be exhausted from all the stress!

I can share some positive affirmations that help me (they come from Louise Hay's book "You can Heal Your Life")

Repeat often: "I approve of me, I approve of me, I approve of me"

Also, while facing yourself in the mirror: "I love you and accept you exactly as you are"

Keep us posted on how you are doing, we care.

MsPINKAcres

hate so much you are going thru this horrid situation ~
I pray your HP's very best for your husband & this entire situation ~

as we know - alcoholism is a FAMILY disease ~ sounds like your mil is affected greatly by it also ~
so was my exah's family & i had to learn to apply the program & 12 steps to them as much as I did my exah (I am powerless over them as much as I am alcoholism)

I learned about setting boundaries while also treating everyone with respect and dignity ~ even if I wasn't given the same in return ~ keeping my side of the street clean

I learned to tell myself "Just because someone says it doesn't make it true"

All those things your mil likes to say negative about you ~ you know they are not true ~

You know the disease is why your husband is where he is at - it has NOTHING to do with you ~

Please Please continue taking good care of YOU and your children ~ that is the healthiest thing you can do ~

Pink hugs,

Sueski

You are in my thoughts. I'm so sorry that you are in this awful mess that is not of your making.

Tuffgirl

Prayers to you today, soberwife. I think its normal to find blame elsewhere. And by normal I mean a natural denial mechanism. My friend's (who died last month) family is going through the same thing (though not abusive toward others). Trying to find "blame" in the madness so they can make sense of why a young woman with so much potential threw it all away to drink to the point of death.

I am going to say this, and I know others may not agree, but try to have some compassion. It helps to not take it personally when we can be compassionate toward others' suffering. And don't argue with the MIL. That only fuels the fire. I simply listen and nod my head, even though I know what is being said is not truth.

Keep us posted. We are here for you.
~T

ShootingStar1

"um-hmm" is a good non-commital response, as is "I can see how you would feel that way".

I am so sorry that you are going through this, and it is reassuring to hear that you Alanon friends are texting you, and I hope you have other support. Please remember, you didn't cause this, you can't control it, and you can't cure it.

You are quite remarkable to be taking care of your AH like this, and no matter what happens, you are doing absolutely everything that can be done.

Take care, we're all here for you.

ShootingStar1