Time to Drop the Bomb and I'm Scared
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: state of confusion
Posts: 67
Hugs to you my friend, big step but sounds well thought out and right. Keep posting and reading SR. This site has given me insight and perspective . It really opened my eyes and has me pointed in the right direction. You are in my prayers.
Lord Have Mercy
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Upper Midwest
Posts: 242
Thank you to everyone who has posted, seriously, I need your strength right now.
Tomorrow at 7 am.
I will post back on this thread with the outcome, her reaction is a real wildcard.
I went to Al Anon tonight, it was good. This is going to end a lot enabling, in that sense I know I am doing the right thing.
God bless you all...
Tomorrow at 7 am.
I will post back on this thread with the outcome, her reaction is a real wildcard.
I went to Al Anon tonight, it was good. This is going to end a lot enabling, in that sense I know I am doing the right thing.
God bless you all...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 109
Divorce is so hard, but like so many of us here, I believe you are doing the right thing.
On the difficult days you may worry that you are taking so many things away from her but in truth, you are allowing her to own something incredibly important: the dignity of experiencing the consequences of her actions.
I am in the process of divorcing my AH as well, and remembering to honor that dignity keeps me going.
On the difficult days you may worry that you are taking so many things away from her but in truth, you are allowing her to own something incredibly important: the dignity of experiencing the consequences of her actions.
I am in the process of divorcing my AH as well, and remembering to honor that dignity keeps me going.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Northeast
Posts: 211
(((((djayr)))))
I admire you for how you are handling this difficult thing. I am separated and still love my AH and I feel for you. Good for you for taking care of yourself. I pray you have peace as a result.
I admire you for how you are handling this difficult thing. I am separated and still love my AH and I feel for you. Good for you for taking care of yourself. I pray you have peace as a result.
Lord Have Mercy
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Upper Midwest
Posts: 242
I did it. I met with her this morning and I told her I am converting from a legal separation to a divorce. I told her this was going mean we have to sell the house. I said I was planning on filing the papers in the next week or two. This is what I want to do,
She said no, no, no -- she asked if I could please give her another chance, "you have to give me another chance". She said she would go to rehab. She cried. I cried.
And I told her, I am not going to change my mind. I said I will pray about it, but I came to this meeting with 100% certainty and I believe God will take care of both us.
It was awful. I feel very sorry for her, but I did it and perhaps the toughest part is over. Time will tell.
She said no, no, no -- she asked if I could please give her another chance, "you have to give me another chance". She said she would go to rehab. She cried. I cried.
And I told her, I am not going to change my mind. I said I will pray about it, but I came to this meeting with 100% certainty and I believe God will take care of both us.
It was awful. I feel very sorry for her, but I did it and perhaps the toughest part is over. Time will tell.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: SAN FRANCISCO
Posts: 1,176
djayr-
I hope you hold your ground... if she wanted to get better she would have done so already. Meanwhile I am sure it wasn't an easy thing to do and it probably won't get any easier. I would expect lots of begging and pleading from her in the near future.
I hope you hold your ground... if she wanted to get better she would have done so already. Meanwhile I am sure it wasn't an easy thing to do and it probably won't get any easier. I would expect lots of begging and pleading from her in the near future.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Vancouver, WA
Posts: 3
BtheChange- LOVE your post! I needed to hear the "consequences of her (in my case, his) actions." I was searching the sight today looking for that one thread to heal the hurt, if only for a moment, and remind myself that I did the right thing by leaving (I packed my child and I up and left Tuesday). So thank you for that.
:-)
Arlie
:-)
Arlie
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