4MyBoys

Some of you know my situation. My STBXAH is a police officer. Last week I kept my youngest son home sick from school because he had a temp and did not feel well. He had no other symptoms. Well by the evening when he had his nightly call to his Dad he complained on the phone that he did not feel good and his body hurt. Ok. He is sick....I have been giving him Childrens Advil according to schedule.

Well my STBXAH, insisted on speaking with me on the phone about it. I did because it involved a sick child. We have been as no contact as possible with kids. Well he was obviously drunk and kept yelling at me to take care of my son. I kept calmly asking him what else he would like me to be doing? He said if I don't take care of him he is calling CPS. I told him that if that would make him feel better about the situation go ahead. I got tired of trying to calm him down and told him I would take care of him and that I was hanging up.

Well about 1/2 hour later the police arrived. Yep, child welfare check. Fun on a Friday night! My older son, 9, came out to see what was going on. My younger son was asleep. Anyway to make a long story short the officer said he the call sound like it may be something like this. Checked on the boys and went on his merry way.

Love that my police offier A can call the Police on me, but my kids tell their attorney and the councelor that their Dad is drinking during visits, with a no drinking order and nothing gets done.....Gotta love the system some days. Oh, and to top this off, the next day was his visit. He picked up the boys and took them to a birthday party 45 minutes away for the day. When he dropped him off to me he told me that he had given him his medicine and at the time his temp was 100. Apparently keeping a child home sick is not ok but taking them to a party is what is best.

I can laugh about this now, but for a few days it really through me for a loop.

4MyBoys

Jazzman

Well he sure showed you, didn't he? You were probably thinking he was shirking his responsibilities as a parent too!

*some times I crack myself up*

DoubleBarrel

If he is an active alcoholic cop, perhaps internal affairs would be interested in a loaded weapon on the streets with a potentially impaired person on their payroll in control of it?

ZiggyB

Ugh, I am so sorry... glad I don't have kids with mine, that would make things real tough.

4MyBoys

Doublebarrel,

His Sargent was at our house the day I came to get the kids with the local Sherrifs Deptartment. They know. A lot of them are his drinking buddies.

LoveMeNow

My husband's EXAW used to do this all the time. We were able to get a copy of the calls that were made for the GAL (guardian ad litem) and she put a stop to it.

Is your STBAX in a union? Is the Police Chief aware of his alcohol issues?

Confetti

Ugh....how irritating.

On the plus side, they have it documented that they checked on the boys and everything was fine. If he keeps up making frivolous accusations, it will only look worse on him.

Stay strong.

Sending you positive thoughts.

marie1960

My eldest daughter is in law enforcement, let's just say she works for a dept. that goes by it's initials....... (as i have been told not to discuss what she does EVER, talk about control freak)....... but your concerns are valid and real 4myBoys.

There is alot of inside wrongdoing. period. I sure hope your attoney is hard as nails and can stand up to these good ol boys,......

Personally i am to the point that I question my own adult child's ethics........ another story,....... i try to leave it alone but I get exactly what you are saying. Be well friend.

Rosiepetal

What a jerk.
Yes everytime something went wrong with my kids it was apparently my fault too.
Hang in there, we all know he's a jerk. At Least your kids have one strong parent & that is you.
Respect to you.

DoubleBarrel

Ugh, sorry.
If its a big enough department, IA could do something, but sounds like a smaller crew, which is scary.

MamaKit

What an unbelievable creep!!!! It's amazing how low they can get in their attempts to suck us down. In what possible way do his actions help him or his children? I mean, REALLY?????

I've had to take several deep breaths before posting here because I feel so angry at this person I don't even know. But I guess it must be the right response. I can't imagine how you feel. I'm so sorry 4MyBoys.

Here's what I know....you are good mom! Your boys know this!!! We can't control what they do. We can only do our best. He is an asshat!

I'm pulling for you 4MyBoys. Sending lots of hugs and support.
Love,
MamaKit

Titanic

You will survive. Leopards can't change their spots. His true colors will be revealed to others slowly and surely.

Yes, look into the IA & Union issue - but I do know that could impact his employment and, thus, support to your kids and you. He's an Annoying Active A. It's what they do.

Graceland

I am so sorry that you have to go through this. It's absolutely ridiculous - I can understand why you had to ruminate on it for a bit, but your STBXAH is only hurting himself. You are a good mother. Your kids know this and now, CPS, knows it too.

SoaringSpirits

This may actually work against your AH in the long run. In CA, CPS calls are logged and documented as "substantiated" (action takes place) or "unsubstantiated" (no action). Make sure you get a copy of the CPS/police report for your file to make sure it's noted as such.

So sorry you have to deal with BS like this. And remember to document every little thing, like your AH taking a sick kid to a party within 24 hours of a fever. What a jerk!