Daughter511

I'm 21 years old. My dad has been a full on everyday drunk alcholic since last year. Over the summer my mom had to call the cops and ambulance to come get him because for 3 days straight he was black out drunk and just acting like a demon and weird. He was in detox and the hospital for almost 24 hours.

Well he was "good" for a while and just drank beer but recently hes back to whiskey. When he drinks whiskey it is like an emotional roller coaster. His mood changes in a heart beat from happy and up beat to anger that will kill you.

My dad has weird attachment issues with me. He tries making me feel guilty because Im gone all the time. He doesn't understand that he is the reason. these past months my boyfriend (that I've been with for 3 years) sleeps with me at my house and if hes not here then I stay at his house. When hes with me I just feel safe. I go to college full time and work 30 hours a week. I try to avoid my house as much as possible when my dad is home because I cannot take it.

The environment is heavy and dark. It brings you down.

I would move in with my boyfriend's family. They are my angels and my place for safety. I don't know what I would do if I didnt have them to save me at times. The only thing is I don't want to move in with them because I don't want to be a mooch or "invade" them.

I dont have a car so it leaves me stuck and bound because I use my mother's car. Shes just as bad for the problem because she makes excuses for my dad and gives him money for alcohol.

Its all taking a toll on me. I feel so empty and annoyed I just want to get out and away and never return to this house.

Another thing that really bothers me is when hes drunk he constantly has his hand in his pants and it makes me feel really disgusted.

It all use to be so different a couple years ago. It was perfect. We were a great family. Everything was happy my dad was my best friend, my boyfriend and everybody would watch movies eat sunflowers seeds and just all laugh together. But now that has all changed and I feel like I don't have a father and I don't know who this drunk is.

Alcohol is making me hate him and it makes me sick.

What do I do? How do I cope with this? All I want is to live a good life and be successful and have a loving family but its all in a downward spiral. :/

I've tried talking, crying, pleading its no use.

Hopeworks

Hi Daughter,

Welcome back to the forum. I went back and read your previous post where you shared your story about your dad.

If crying, pleading, begging and loving them worked they would ALL be sober! Nothing we can do can change the reality that they WANT to drink and they will drink no matter what.

It is good that you are taking some action to take care of yourself and that needs to be your number one priority whatever that takes.

Like you I had a dad who was a severe alcoholic who was very abusive when drunk and that was always. Moments of normalcy were very rare and we grew up learning how to live in insanity full time. It is no life for anyone and sadly, my mother, like yours was codependent and did not protect us... she was incapable.

I cannot stress enough how helpful it would be for you to find some alanon groups that you could check out... it can be lifesaving. It was for me.

Setting boundaries is important but obviously living under their roof makes this somewhat difficult. If you could move somewhere else it might be the healthiest alternative... again... spending some time in alanon will help you find your way through this time in your life that WILL be temporary!

There are a lot of great books on the subject of adult children of alcoholics and codendency... I really suggest you read as many of them as you can along with meetings. I also got a counselor and that really helped me deal with the issues and detach with love.

See if your mom would go to alanon meetings with you...

YOu are in my prayers!