ilovehim1104

Love all the feedback thank u and many of u i agree with so thanks i have much to sort out in the end . i do other things that release great feelings like sex except the real thing sometime better lol i am happy i asked on here thanks everyone is all i can say!

joinedintime

Sounds like he was just admitting that he knows he's using you and was disarming you my saying it himself before you could say it. My advice is to think carefully and honestly with yourself about who you let into your life and how/when you do it..and keep asking others here for their input.

Take care of yourself

marie1960

from the balcony i say....... casual sex is one thing, having casual sex with someone you have a "history" with is a recipe for disaster. Sooner or later those past feelings and memories are going to resurface. Then what?

no matter how comfortable you may feel today, someone is going to get emotional attached and then you are right back to all the pain and hurt of the original break-up.

please proceed with caution. play with fire you will eventually get burned.

ilovehim1104

i am so grateful for this site...its always when i feel good about me i just became a nurse and have so many more attainable goals to reach so i feel i am confortable and love me just when emotions r involved i need to knw better but i sometimes fool myself in believing i can do this the more i reply and talk on here i am gettin down to the core which i love but no one wants to take alook inside i was jus lookin at the surface....but i. can walk away and from this day i am believing more i should . i have just kept thinking if i am doing this for pure pleasure ur ok well as i see how o am replying to these commrnts its much than that. sucks to admiy but honesty and consistency r key to success in my life. i also think "sick" that mayb he will see "what he is missing" but who am i fooling ? ME sad how i do this to myself and glad i am being totally honesty here so thanks everyone i wana cty rt nw seriously...miss hard outershell lol thanks!

ilovehim1104

another part is he comes over randomly he never came over with callingor texting something first is thqat his way of knwing he can trust me he clearly has them issues...also texts to ask me to see if I wana go eat or meetings with him...so I guess beside my most like beng hurt the more I look at the situation he seems to b stay close so knw one else can or hm idk

Sueski

I fool myself into believing I can do things, too. I think everybody here has. That's why SR works!! We may not like what we hear, but there's a lot of collective wisdom.

I just think pleasure could be found somewhere less risky to your heart and self-esteem, ya know? Whatever you do, we support your right to do it even if we don't personally agree. Just be careful of yourself - not everyone out there has your best interests in mind.

ilovehim1104

Thank u so much and its so true I love this site and appreciate everyone insight I am opening my eyes once again...has anyone ever hear of EA emotions anonymous?

ilovehim1104

he is leaving on vacay for 2wks so that will help me for sure

Kimmieh

I have been in similar situations and I was never able to "just have sex" without some sort of emotional mess. While it might have been gratifying in the moment, it always created some sort of emotional mess that just wasn't worth it. Just my experience.

ilovehim1104

thanks! good name i have a good advantage because we dnt live in the same city and its days between contact and this is the first contact we have had for 3months so i kinda feel numb its like i knw i am ok either way does it suck yes! but the famous saying is "it is what is". i am happy to hear from those who have been in this situation of course.

kudzujean

Some things condoms won't protect you from.

Kimmieh

I know this guy who I was totally infatuated with. There always was this attraction when we saw each other, which wasn't often because we always lived far apart. I was always convinced that I could just enjoy the moment with him and I was always emotionally involved afterwards. Looking back, the meetings during which we were not physical left me feeling much better and relaxed. But I was in total denial at the time and always wasted lots of time dealing with some sort of emotional turmoil (he was also very manipulative and I was the perfect "victim").

ilovehim1104

i am a nurse so i aware but thanx!

ilovehim1104

i am as well i swear when i see my xabf as much as i can pretend super cool and that we r real good friends but i am melting. inside because i to am the perfect victim...which i feel is worse because i am aware of such deteriorating behavior yet continue to do it...hmmmm sounds like the definition of insanity ...i am so glad i posted this i have so much insight from everyone and appreciate every comment neg/positive

inpieces314

I did this once with my first serious boyfriend, during our time together he managed to get addicted to pain medication, and it went downhill from there.

After the whole thing, he wanted to try to FWB thing, and I went with it, because I still loved him and all that, and hey, some attention is better than none, right? WRONG!!!! He hurt me even worse after that than when we really broke up!

I actually did not speak to him again for years, until he was working on Step 9 and called me out of the blue. I still talk to him today, but we both know that is all it is ever going to be (I am in a relationship but even if I was single that is how it would be).

So I am not going to tell you what to do. What I do think is that you should just be careful. Worry about how it is going to hurt you, and do not worry about him so much. I guarantee you, he is not worrying about your feelings at all. So if you think you can emotionally handle it, because it is much harder than you would think, go ahead. Because if you aren't ready, you are really going to damage yourself, and it would be really bad for you.

oneday66

i guess u do care..
if it was a real FWB you would be ok with him sleeping with other women.. which it doesn't sound like you are....real FWB means you don't even have the right to know

I was in a similar position... he would text, drop by etc
I had to go full NO CONTACT
I even had to tell people I didn't want to hear about his activities..
See, by him being in your life.. you are still connected, atrached.. you cannot move on..
if the perfect man for you saw you at starbucks.. you wouldnt see him and he probably wouldnt approach you because your energy is with another man..
as long as you stay in contact, your heart stays open and this stuff about sex would eventually come up..
most importantly (speaking from experience) you keep the wound OPEN and it can't heal..

fourmaggie

sorry i did not read as much as i could...

i was to busy TAKING OUT THE TRASH.....

ZiggyB

Sounds like lots of drama and somebody will get their feelings hurt - most likely you...

you can find your hookup somewhere else, I am sure.

ilovehim1104

lol thanks

Justfor1

Wow. A bit harsh. This forum is all about helping one another & not making judgements. I'm guessing that those who are judging the original poster are a bit older & from a different generation? Times are changing with regards to sex, marriage, child raising ect....