Husband's doctor appointment outcome
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 46
Husband's doctor appointment outcome
Hi, Some of you may have read my post from a few days ago looking for clues to my husband's health issues, which I found out I couldn't really ask here, but that's okay, I just wanted to give everyone an update today.
He went to the doctor today (I didn't go, left it to him to take care of). He has been very nauseous lately, not eating much, mostly one meal a day, pretty much sitting in a chair all day watching TV or out in the garage sitting, smoking, and I am sure drinking. He started being treated for depression about 4 weeks ago with Zoloft, which was the main reason for this appt (follow-up). When he went to the doctor the last time he was also having the nausea issues, but it is definitely getting worse.
All blood tests, including liver, taken at last appointment checked out okay, too.
So anyway, he came home from his appointment and said he told the doctor he was feeling a little bit better on Zoloft, doctor said to keep taking it (then soon after he came home, he was very down again). As to the nausea, the doctor wants him to have an ultrasound of his gallbladder--as I guess he sees no indications as to what else it could be (doc does know about the alcohol, though I am sure my husband minimized it yesterday.) My husband has to make the appointment for the U/S. He says he won't yet because of money issues, but I said you want to feel better don't you? (We are having big time financial issues, and I can blame a big portion of it on him,) BUT I feel he should get his health taken care of BUT...
I also, in my little mind, sincerely doubt it is his gallbladder, I truly think it is all related to the alcohol consumption and maybe that's why he is even putting off making the appointment, because he "knows" also. He'll say things like, "I don't want this to go on any longer. It has to end sometime." (meaning the sick feeling he has), which is all true, BUT he has to help HIMSELF, right? Normally I would go right ahead and make this ultrasound appt for him so it would be scheduled and not be put off indefinitely, but nope, not now, I am going to wait for him to do it. If he doesn't care enough about himself (and really, his family too, then why should we care?) (If only I could have this attitude every day.)
So thanks for listening, not really sure why I felt the need to post this, but I am glad I did.
He went to the doctor today (I didn't go, left it to him to take care of). He has been very nauseous lately, not eating much, mostly one meal a day, pretty much sitting in a chair all day watching TV or out in the garage sitting, smoking, and I am sure drinking. He started being treated for depression about 4 weeks ago with Zoloft, which was the main reason for this appt (follow-up). When he went to the doctor the last time he was also having the nausea issues, but it is definitely getting worse.
All blood tests, including liver, taken at last appointment checked out okay, too.
So anyway, he came home from his appointment and said he told the doctor he was feeling a little bit better on Zoloft, doctor said to keep taking it (then soon after he came home, he was very down again). As to the nausea, the doctor wants him to have an ultrasound of his gallbladder--as I guess he sees no indications as to what else it could be (doc does know about the alcohol, though I am sure my husband minimized it yesterday.) My husband has to make the appointment for the U/S. He says he won't yet because of money issues, but I said you want to feel better don't you? (We are having big time financial issues, and I can blame a big portion of it on him,) BUT I feel he should get his health taken care of BUT...
I also, in my little mind, sincerely doubt it is his gallbladder, I truly think it is all related to the alcohol consumption and maybe that's why he is even putting off making the appointment, because he "knows" also. He'll say things like, "I don't want this to go on any longer. It has to end sometime." (meaning the sick feeling he has), which is all true, BUT he has to help HIMSELF, right? Normally I would go right ahead and make this ultrasound appt for him so it would be scheduled and not be put off indefinitely, but nope, not now, I am going to wait for him to do it. If he doesn't care enough about himself (and really, his family too, then why should we care?) (If only I could have this attitude every day.)
So thanks for listening, not really sure why I felt the need to post this, but I am glad I did.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 13
Just wanted to say you said a couple good things about yourself - you left going to the doctor to him and you are leaving the responsiblity of follow up with the ultrasound up to him.
I think that's important because you need to not do the things for him that he can do for himself. It's hard to do and I think you should be proud of yourself.
I think that's important because you need to not do the things for him that he can do for himself. It's hard to do and I think you should be proud of yourself.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Dear Lougbourough, I concur with you--my best guess is that he probably minimized to the doctor because he is afraid of having his ability to drink taken away. The "monster" in his mind is fighting for survival, big time.
He is complaining freely to you, however, because he needs your ongoing support and sympathy in order to continue drinking without your interference. Basically, he is m anipulating in order to control his environment---and is, not yet, ready to consider the recovery option.
Remember, that the disease is progressive. Sometimes, the only thing that can be done is to get out of their way. Sometimes, that is also the best way.
This is very hard on you, I know, It pushes our co-dependent buttons to the max!
Please, focus on your own issues. You CAN do something about those.
Hang on to your serenity prayer.
sincerely, dandylion
He is complaining freely to you, however, because he needs your ongoing support and sympathy in order to continue drinking without your interference. Basically, he is m anipulating in order to control his environment---and is, not yet, ready to consider the recovery option.
Remember, that the disease is progressive. Sometimes, the only thing that can be done is to get out of their way. Sometimes, that is also the best way.
This is very hard on you, I know, It pushes our co-dependent buttons to the max!
Please, focus on your own issues. You CAN do something about those.
Hang on to your serenity prayer.
sincerely, dandylion
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Better than where I was
Posts: 267
My STBXAW just went to the doctor for the same issues. She was also prescribed Zoloft for depression as well as Klonopin for anxiety. She is nauseous most of the time & eats very little. Every symptom she has can be directly linked to someone who drinks as much as she does, for as long as she has. I'm sure that her alcohol consumption was not discussed. There is no way a doctor would prescribe those type of drugs with that type of consumption, unless they're a Dr. Robert, which he is not (he is my doctor as well). Reading "Under The Influence" by Milam & Ketcham is very informative. It is also scary & unnerving. Here is a link to some excerpts:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
She is also thinking it might be gall bladder issues. i am not a doctor, but I have an opinion on the root cause of it all. I have to let HER deal with it. I can't make her better, make her want to get better or even get her help. She is seeking help but only if it is on her terms. I am not hopeful for successful treatment of her symptoms. But her higher power will take care of her as her higher power sees fit. I will let mine take care of me. That is all I can do.
Good for you not making his appointments! Hard isn't it? it does get easier with practice. It is awkward at first, but like anything, the more you practice it, the easier & more effective it gets. Stay strong.
OhBoy
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
She is also thinking it might be gall bladder issues. i am not a doctor, but I have an opinion on the root cause of it all. I have to let HER deal with it. I can't make her better, make her want to get better or even get her help. She is seeking help but only if it is on her terms. I am not hopeful for successful treatment of her symptoms. But her higher power will take care of her as her higher power sees fit. I will let mine take care of me. That is all I can do.
Good for you not making his appointments! Hard isn't it? it does get easier with practice. It is awkward at first, but like anything, the more you practice it, the easier & more effective it gets. Stay strong.
OhBoy
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 46
Dandylion, thank you so much. It is hard, definitely. I always thought I was a very strong person, but now that I see the end more often than not (of this relationship), I don't feel so strong, but I think what actually hurts is knowing how it USED to be, how we USED to be and not having that anymore. The relationship we have now is really not a relationship at all, so I think if (still can't bring myself to say when) the time comes, I need to remember the good times as a "past" relationship that could have lasted forever, and then remember what is now my "current" relationship that cannot last forever. (makes sense in my mind anyway) It scares me to know end to think about living life without him because I always thought we would be together forever. I had so many dreams, hopes, plans, like many of you have had, that most likely won't come to fruition now at least in this relationship.
OhBoy, thank you, too. I am going to read the excerpts you posted right now. It helps to make me feel better knowing someone else is going through almost the exact same thing as I am at the moment. It's always nice to know you are not alone when times are tough. He still hasn't called for the U/S appointment. I haven't mentioned it again to him either. It is very hard to keep myself out of it. I keep having to tell myself, he's a big boy, he can handle it
OhBoy, thank you, too. I am going to read the excerpts you posted right now. It helps to make me feel better knowing someone else is going through almost the exact same thing as I am at the moment. It's always nice to know you are not alone when times are tough. He still hasn't called for the U/S appointment. I haven't mentioned it again to him either. It is very hard to keep myself out of it. I keep having to tell myself, he's a big boy, he can handle it
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 78
Originally Posted by Loughborough 
It scares me to know end to think about living life without him because I always thought we would be together forever. I had so many dreams, hopes, plans, like many of you have had, that most likely won't come to fruition now at least in this relationship.
I know I'm running the risk of violating the TOS myself, but his doctor is spot on. Most laypeople think alcohol only affects the liver, but the gall bladder can take a huge hit too. BUT, most doctors are acutely aware that ALL of their patients minimize their unhealthy habits, whether it's booze, cigarettes, or cheeseburgers. (Likewise, everyone exaggerates their exercise too!) The effects of alcohol on the body are very well-understood and easy to spot, so it doesn't matter if your husband lied. It's highly likely his doctor knows exactly what's up!
So at least you might trust that your husband would be in good hands if he ever chooses to make a U/S appointment for himself. Maybe that is a tiny bit of solace to you..?
EDIT: I should also mention, like Pelican said in your previous thread, not only is nausea a side effect of anti-depressants, it's also a symptom of depression itself. Best not to speculate. Leave that to the pros!
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Location: LA - Lower Alabama
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I also, in my little mind, sincerely doubt it is his gallbladder, I truly think it is all related to the alcohol consumption
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