Random update
Taking back what is mine!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Ky
Posts: 277
Random update
Today's my bday and what a shocker me and ABF spent the night arguing. Well he did , I mostly ignored him. We have literally no food in the house and of course no money but he came home with 3 22oz beers. I heard but they are only a dollar a piece a billion times but $3 could have bought her dinner last night. He just doesn't get it but then again it's all my fault or my dads never his. Must be nice to never have to grow up. All was sunshine and flowers when he woke up this morning. 
In other news, I got a call back about a job. I have an interview next week. I have actually worked for the company a few yrs ago doing something similar and it will be a work from home position after training so I am really excited about it. Fingers crossed all goes well, this could give me and the kid a nice jump start to moving out on our own.
In other news, I got a call back about a job. I have an interview next week. I have actually worked for the company a few yrs ago doing something similar and it will be a work from home position after training so I am really excited about it. Fingers crossed all goes well, this could give me and the kid a nice jump start to moving out on our own.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Oregon
Posts: 138
Wishing you a happy birthday! So sorry your dealing with this.
My 40th birthday was this year. My ex-a just started working and wanted to do something nice. I had been gone for two weeks on an emotional rollercoast from him the whole time on the phone and the issue of moving my sick mom to our new city where we lived 6 states away from where she was at, to when I got home he was drunk, there was a beautiful present for me and we fought all night.
The present was so nice and special but I'm so broke right now I'm going to sell it. I have mixed emotions about selling something that I will never wear but yet it is the only thing he ever gave me.
I cannot tell you how sad it is to have a birthday ruined. So I hope you can find a way to be happy today and good luck on the interview!
My 40th birthday was this year. My ex-a just started working and wanted to do something nice. I had been gone for two weeks on an emotional rollercoast from him the whole time on the phone and the issue of moving my sick mom to our new city where we lived 6 states away from where she was at, to when I got home he was drunk, there was a beautiful present for me and we fought all night.
The present was so nice and special but I'm so broke right now I'm going to sell it. I have mixed emotions about selling something that I will never wear but yet it is the only thing he ever gave me.
I cannot tell you how sad it is to have a birthday ruined. So I hope you can find a way to be happy today and good luck on the interview!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: texas
Posts: 103
Happy birthday!!!!! I spent 4 years with my EXAB and only once did he ever spend it with me and he gave me a used picture of George Straight. He doesnt even know when my birthday is. HA!!!!!!
Hang in there!!!!
Hang in there!!!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 230
Happy birthday!!! 
7
It sucks to have a birthday ruined by someone else's actions. Do something nice for yourself and enjoy your day after your birthday! Besides, I fully support having a birthday week!!!
7It sucks to have a birthday ruined by someone else's actions. Do something nice for yourself and enjoy your day after your birthday! Besides, I fully support having a birthday week!!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Chicago
Posts: 5,450
The ONE birthday I spent my with XABF was the worst ever! We argued about the restaurant, about how to get there, about everything - I hate that I let him turn my birthday into something that was all about him and what he wanted! Don't do it!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Taking back what is mine!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Ky
Posts: 277
Thanks everyone! And L2L, I remember much of the same as a child. We have the basics (milk, bread, eggs, etc) but its frustrating. I make 50 bucks a week taking my cousin to school, I put 20 back in gas and the rest I spend on food or trying to play catch up on one of the many things our 2 yr old has outgrown. Last night I was annoyed and upset but he was happy as could be playing on his pc and drinking. I made a comment ( i apparently don't learn) and he over reacted callings names, saying I'm not his partner and I've always just been against him. *rolleyes* No priorities. This job will stop that. I have worked since I was 14 because I hated not being in control of my needs. Now here I sat depending on someone else to feed me and my kid, never again.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: state of confusion
Posts: 67
For my birthday I got a picture of my A and his male bunk mate holding up a home made "Happy Birthday L____ sign. I was so touched at the time, but when it came to light after he came home about his other rehabilitative activities I shreaded it, I was devesteted. Here is what happened ( sorry it is a bit OT.)
My A told me while toward the end of his 30 day rehab this visiting nurse would make eyes at him, find little ways to be around him, touch him and flirt ,finding ways to sit by him etc , etc. I was insecure and jealous, he was after all 900 miles away. I asked him how he would feel if I was in the same situation during this difficult time apart and of couse the jealous narcississit went into one of his jealous rages. No empathy, just posessive anger.
In every letter and phone call My xabf was "working hard to change his life in rehab, he was so done with alcohol, ready to build out lives and even marry" ( this guy reallly is a pro, so smart and charming to everyone i rehab that he was made a "group leader" which gave him access to a private classroom out building where he was, I found out later (guess what? ) meeting up with this "chubby, homely" nurse. (for some good old sexual therapy)
One day after he came home, I recieved a letter from nursie all about the affair, how they were in love, it was different, she was going to move down, help him recover and hope for no hard feelings, hahahahaha. I promply copied the letter, sent it to the owner and head guy at the rehab who suggested I also contact that state's board of nursing and he gave me her agencies name as well. The guy in charge could not fire her per se because she was a visiting nurse caring for a long time secratary/receptionist who was recovering from a heart attack a heart attack.
Don't know how far I will go persue her inappropriate behavior. She was sucked in and lied to just like I was and ruining this woman's ability to earn a living I feel is harsh considering the dirt bag we were both taken in by.
Before he was found out my guts were yelling "red flag" but my axbf said he only told me because because he found it funny some "chubby, homely" little nurse was crushing on him, a guy in rehab and how desperate she must be. Found it sad and amusing and of course he never said more the a polite hello And after all there was close supervision at these things, he was in a mens private division, etc. . I guess polite hello in rehab land includes BJ's and intercourse. THey sure are friendly in the south. He actually came home with a raw spot on his pe*** , said he wipied it too hard with a rough paper towel , I smelled a rat ( or stray cat as it were) and made him use condoms the whole 2 times we were together after this happy home coming. When the sh** hit the fan and I showed him the letter and told him the jig was up his reponse was at first she was crazy , a liar, he was so indignant. Then when he saw I was not buying it he began to tell me how hot, sexy and leggy she was, so much for chubby and homely, anamazing transformation I am sure! He cried how just missed me so much and thought of me each of the only 2 encounters they had. Poor baby missed me!!!!! Seriously, quack,quack.
He lasted 3 days sober before going back to the vodka and his condo 40 miles away so that was the end of that. That was my fault for confronting him on his sick little affair. I never would have known what he had been up to had this obviously sad and delusional little temporay sex toy not spilled her guts to me. I feel so sick I let my self be conned by such a pro. No contact for 11 days, not for his lack of trying.
Boy do I have some work to do. Thanks for letting me rant OT for a bit.
Free
My A told me while toward the end of his 30 day rehab this visiting nurse would make eyes at him, find little ways to be around him, touch him and flirt ,finding ways to sit by him etc , etc. I was insecure and jealous, he was after all 900 miles away. I asked him how he would feel if I was in the same situation during this difficult time apart and of couse the jealous narcississit went into one of his jealous rages. No empathy, just posessive anger.
In every letter and phone call My xabf was "working hard to change his life in rehab, he was so done with alcohol, ready to build out lives and even marry" ( this guy reallly is a pro, so smart and charming to everyone i rehab that he was made a "group leader" which gave him access to a private classroom out building where he was, I found out later (guess what? ) meeting up with this "chubby, homely" nurse. (for some good old sexual therapy)
One day after he came home, I recieved a letter from nursie all about the affair, how they were in love, it was different, she was going to move down, help him recover and hope for no hard feelings, hahahahaha. I promply copied the letter, sent it to the owner and head guy at the rehab who suggested I also contact that state's board of nursing and he gave me her agencies name as well. The guy in charge could not fire her per se because she was a visiting nurse caring for a long time secratary/receptionist who was recovering from a heart attack a heart attack.
Don't know how far I will go persue her inappropriate behavior. She was sucked in and lied to just like I was and ruining this woman's ability to earn a living I feel is harsh considering the dirt bag we were both taken in by.
Before he was found out my guts were yelling "red flag" but my axbf said he only told me because because he found it funny some "chubby, homely" little nurse was crushing on him, a guy in rehab and how desperate she must be. Found it sad and amusing and of course he never said more the a polite hello And after all there was close supervision at these things, he was in a mens private division, etc. . I guess polite hello in rehab land includes BJ's and intercourse. THey sure are friendly in the south. He actually came home with a raw spot on his pe*** , said he wipied it too hard with a rough paper towel , I smelled a rat ( or stray cat as it were) and made him use condoms the whole 2 times we were together after this happy home coming. When the sh** hit the fan and I showed him the letter and told him the jig was up his reponse was at first she was crazy , a liar, he was so indignant. Then when he saw I was not buying it he began to tell me how hot, sexy and leggy she was, so much for chubby and homely, anamazing transformation I am sure! He cried how just missed me so much and thought of me each of the only 2 encounters they had. Poor baby missed me!!!!! Seriously, quack,quack.
He lasted 3 days sober before going back to the vodka and his condo 40 miles away so that was the end of that. That was my fault for confronting him on his sick little affair. I never would have known what he had been up to had this obviously sad and delusional little temporay sex toy not spilled her guts to me. I feel so sick I let my self be conned by such a pro. No contact for 11 days, not for his lack of trying.
Boy do I have some work to do. Thanks for letting me rant OT for a bit.
Free
Iceberg Ahead!
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Out at Sea
Posts: 1,177
Sadconfused, belated Better Birthday and employment success wishes!
Yes, active As put the drink (drug or other addictive activity or person) in their front passenger seat while the SO and kids get the back seat of neglect.
Free, OT, you're not still with him are you?
Yes, active As put the drink (drug or other addictive activity or person) in their front passenger seat while the SO and kids get the back seat of neglect.
Free, OT, you're not still with him are you?
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