fluffyflea

I was thinking today about when I think how the "A did that "To Me"

Now I want to consciously eliminate"To Me" out of those sentences to stay away from Victim thinking and feelings like Hopelessness, Helplessness' and Powerlessness.

The A really doesn,t do those things To Me it's stuff borne out of sickness.

Learn2Live

You got that right! What helped me realize this so long ago was actually reading Dr Laura's book, How Could You Do That?! Because when you look at the behavior and stop blaming yourself or allowing what they did to affect how you feel about yourself, you really begin to be able to see the sickness. It's part of what I call, "taking a giant step back out of it."

Good work!!! Now take a long look backward and see how far you have come!!!

lovesunandsnow

I like that. I have today noticed for three days now everyone I talk to it's about me! I feel sick that he my ex-a did awful things to me and now I have to look at me but I don't have to talk to everyone I know just about me. How is there day going? I'm working on getting out of me and not being a Victim and the thinking of a victim. I'm not a victim I just didn't have the guts to stand up for me anymore for my own issues that I will work on. So thank you for your post, it hit me with what I was just thinking.

TakingCharge999

This is very zen..
I love this.
SO tired of feeling like a victim..

Titanic

No hopelessness or helplessness, I agree with you Earthworm.

Powerless though: See Step One.

Power: See Steps Two and Three through Twelve.

fluffyflea

I brought up powerlessness because it is a feeling I would have when I was young when I was being abused.

I know I'm powerless over everything else.

fluffyflea

I just came from the courthouse from getting papers to file in small claims court against someone who owes me 8,000.00. As I was walking out I kept repeating to myself that I'm not helpless,hopeless or powerless, that I'm 50 not 10 again.

And it was interesting because I went to a meeting with the S.O and afterwards we were talking to a woman we both know and I started feeling 10 again because it was triggering back weird stuff from the past, when my father would take us to his girlfriends house and leave my mother at home crying. As I'm typing this I'm feeling like 8 years old. WOW!

ZiggyB

Yeah I agree getting out of the victim mentality is a good thing for you, otherwise you'll just end up feeling sorry for yourself and get depressed. My current thinking is I am not a victim, I just was in a bad relationship that want on for too long.