Fear of losing my brother
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 194
Fear of losing my brother
His alcoholism started about 5 years ago, but heavily in the last wo years.
This time last year he was drinking I guess about a gallon of whiskey every couple days or so. He took off wrk to get help with anxiety, but it was wihdrawals. He got worse, drinking until passing out.
We got him to detox, rehab, came home and had 5 months sober. Relapsed, got back to where he was again quickly. Got him to detox again then rehab again.
He's been drinking on and off. Now, again, back to the point to where he's drinking until blacking out, and if he doesn't have enough in him, he's withdrawing and acts crazy. My sil had to leave.
I know we can do nothing but detach. Seems like he just wants to drink himself to death. Hes drinking to pass out, gets up, drinks more. In bed all day. Can't get him to do anything. He can go get liquor, he can call us endlessly when he's crazy but we cannot go over there. Can't bear to be around him and he's a big guy. Dangerous. Scared of him dehydrating, vomiting nd choking on it, falling and hurting himself, but can't get him to go anywhere. We can call ambulance but he won't go, and if he does, as soon as he gets out, we will be doing this again. It's a roller coaster.
How do you detach when someone you love so much is doing this? Even if we could get him somewhere, he'll just do it again.
He hasn't wanted to stop. Told me just a few weeks ago he only had a problem with liquor, not beer, but he's downing 30 packs of beer when there not enough whiskey. This is so hard.
This time last year he was drinking I guess about a gallon of whiskey every couple days or so. He took off wrk to get help with anxiety, but it was wihdrawals. He got worse, drinking until passing out.
We got him to detox, rehab, came home and had 5 months sober. Relapsed, got back to where he was again quickly. Got him to detox again then rehab again.
He's been drinking on and off. Now, again, back to the point to where he's drinking until blacking out, and if he doesn't have enough in him, he's withdrawing and acts crazy. My sil had to leave.
I know we can do nothing but detach. Seems like he just wants to drink himself to death. Hes drinking to pass out, gets up, drinks more. In bed all day. Can't get him to do anything. He can go get liquor, he can call us endlessly when he's crazy but we cannot go over there. Can't bear to be around him and he's a big guy. Dangerous. Scared of him dehydrating, vomiting nd choking on it, falling and hurting himself, but can't get him to go anywhere. We can call ambulance but he won't go, and if he does, as soon as he gets out, we will be doing this again. It's a roller coaster.
How do you detach when someone you love so much is doing this? Even if we could get him somewhere, he'll just do it again.
He hasn't wanted to stop. Told me just a few weeks ago he only had a problem with liquor, not beer, but he's downing 30 packs of beer when there not enough whiskey. This is so hard.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,452
Yes, it is so hard, and I am sorry that you and your family have to go through such pain. It is devastating to see someone you love disintegrate before your eyes.
Post here as much as you like. Soon, people will be back here and I'm sure you'll get lots and lots of support, and you deserve it all.
ShootingStar1
Post here as much as you like. Soon, people will be back here and I'm sure you'll get lots and lots of support, and you deserve it all.
ShootingStar1
Bunnies!
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,905
You recognize that you can't do anything for him, so what are you doing for yourself? Are you going to Al-Anon or a therapist who is familiar with addiction issues? The only way to get through this is to focus on yourself and your recovery. My AM will likely drink herself to death. Accepting that was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
(((Ursula))) I'm so sorry to hear that your brother continues to make poor choices.
But what's going on with your brother....that's not your fault. Let me say that again...it's not your fault. Has anything you have done been able to make one whit of difference in his condition?
Mr. HG and I sure haven't been able to do anything to make a difference for my stepson!
It was hard for us to accept and it took a lot of work, but we have come to the realization that he may very well drink himself to death. We are powerless to stop it.
The only thing we can do is hope and pray that he will really hold onto recovery this time, and we can encourage him to work toward a better future. But that work is all his to do.
I hope that your brother will come to that realization, too, and will keep you and your family in my prayers.
But what's going on with your brother....that's not your fault. Let me say that again...it's not your fault. Has anything you have done been able to make one whit of difference in his condition?
Mr. HG and I sure haven't been able to do anything to make a difference for my stepson!
It was hard for us to accept and it took a lot of work, but we have come to the realization that he may very well drink himself to death. We are powerless to stop it.
The only thing we can do is hope and pray that he will really hold onto recovery this time, and we can encourage him to work toward a better future. But that work is all his to do.
I hope that your brother will come to that realization, too, and will keep you and your family in my prayers.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 194
Yes, I am attending al anon, reading all the books, posting here. I just feel so lost. Today has been hard. I'm full of anxiety anf guilt. I just keep praying, trying to take care of myself. Took a hot shower, ate something, curled up on the couch.
Tried to go to Alanon last night but no one showed for the meeting.
Tried to go to Alanon last night but no one showed for the meeting.
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