fairlyuncertain

"You act like having a beer after work is a crime"

me thinking: no, but when you go drive around after guzzling from the bottle in the garage, I'm pretty sure THAT is a crime.

"I needed you and you abandoned me" after I left the house during a torrent of verbal abuse and threats.

Dontreallycare

At the grocery store, he buys 2 1.5 L bottles of wine.

Him: "They were on sale and too good of a deal to pass up". He sees the look on my face ( I know, I need to develop a better poker face). "I promise I won't drink the other one tomorrow"

The next day: At the store, he buys another 1.5 L bottle. "I promised I wouldn't drink the other one today!"

myfreedom

This is what I got this morning;"You can be lucky you have someone who loves you sooooo much!!!"
If lucky and love are being verbally abused and grabbed,etc. I dont think I wanna be loved!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BoxinRotz

I'm so sorry!

It's like the alcohol has made swiss cheese out of their brain. I don't know how else to describe it and I've watched my AH deteriorate in the last year from his alcoholism. My AH never, ever spewed such vulgarities at me until this last year! I remember the first time he threw the *C* word at me. Went like this:

Him: You are such a *C*

Me: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?! DID YOU JUST CALL ME A *C*?!!!!!

Him: I didn't say that! I called you a bitch! Yeah, that's what I said, bitch.

Me: Like hell you did! (cried in our bedroom because he had never called me a name before and it hurt like hell)

Every since then, he's call me evrything from a **** to a *c*.

He ought to be grateful That I love HIM!!!

Ghesh...

peacedove

XABF to me over time

"Why can't you appreciate people for their differences? You're soooo uptight."

"Don't eat the ham in the fridge. It's bad. Gave me an upset stomach."
(i ate four pieces for him. no problems. hmmmmmm....)

" What can I say? People looooooooove me!" in reference to the buds at the bar...not a clue it has anything to do with it's a bar and/or who's buying.

"I don't have a problem with alcohol. I just love it and having a good time. I'm a happy person all the time so what is the problem??"

When confronted with not taking showers daily he said " Oh geesh, so I like the organic smell. What's the big deal with that?" oh god..."organic"...that word will forever ring a bell with me.

"It's my birthday MONTH!" meaning party all month. meaning every close friend also parties their whole birthday month. meaning all 12 months get covered. NOTE: he's in his mid-40's and so are they. OMG.

When confronted with lack of sexual drive(no meds)and performance:
"Well, you know things change, things peak then not so much, who knows it could be anything...what do you want?? twice a day?? my gosh!! "
NOTE: no i don't. it's been almost 3 weeks, dear. but he never noticed....

When I finally reached my leaving point, broke down crying and saying it all he actually said "You are hysterical and abusive. I won't be treated this way. " Oh holy crap. Totally turned it on me and yep, tells people the same thing. Ahhhhhhhhhhhmaaaaaaaaazing. It does happen.

SolTraveler

ABF, after being drunk and surly all night after a bad night at work, me = 6 1/2 months pregnant. ABF: "I'm angry because you are in the bathroom crying for NO REASON!"

I also got the "why can't you just be happy that someone like me wants you?" once - him = very attractive but 3 stints in jail for DUIs, dropped out of college and bartends even though he has a genius IQ, alcoholic, no financial stability. Me = also reasonably attractive, PhD, great job, no record, financially stable. His rationale? Oh yeah, I have 3 kids from 2 previous marriages. Apparently that trumps all! LOL!

wicked

It is amazing that these drunks get their Victorian fainting couches out for the mothers "yes my dear, i am an abusive alcoholic, who cannot use his brain to find his own butt, let alone a job, but oh my goodness, gracious me......you have 3 children from 2 marriages......why you harlot!
<hankie to the forehead and swoons gracefully (they think it is - more like a slide) on to the chaise lounge>

How can you even compare us?... you... you... mother of 3 children!

bwahahahahaha I heard the same crapola and I was the one supporting the entire family by being active duty in the Army! No hankies for me!
Oh, I am making myself laugh. Geez.

BunnyNest

"I sure wish I could find a job."

Jobless and bordering on homeless. Of course, doing nothing to find a job. Just waiting for it to fall in your lap?

I felt like this thread needed a bump-up for some of our newcomers!

Wishful133

I have a lot, but my favourite ...

AH: coming upstairs, staggering and leaning in the bedroom doorway
ME: putting on my pajamas, just watching him sway
AH: "You f'n b_tch!" turns and stomps down the stairs
ME: "What did I do?" following him
AH: "You put your pajama pants on fast simply because I was standing there!"

Ya, that makes sense.

peridotbleu

That just made me laugh outloud - thank you!

I love these - sadly, but funny at the same time - thanks for sharing

FireSprite

**bumping for the newcomers**

firebolt

Thanks Firesprite - oh this thread has helped me find humor in a situation that many days felt like it was going to kill me.

Here's my latest:

"I'm worried that after a year of sobriety, you are just going to try to find another way to CHANGE ME!"

Ps - he made it the better part of a month, and has decided he can drink 2 beers when it's appropriate. Annd, the spiral starts...

Sidenote on the codie front - I'm happy to say that my response was "your sobriety was your decision, is up to you or not, and we both need to focus on ourselves right now. You do you. I do me."

spiderqueen

When trying to discuss our separation, mine said:

"I am broken. I am a liability. PLEASE BE WITH ME!"

Seriously? WTF?

Also, slurring drunk:

"What do you want from me?? I know, I know - you want me sober and employed. I'm WORKING on it!"

And (also slurring drunk, nearly incoherent):

"I'm taking a little break from the job search. I just needed to meditate, and get my mind right."

Carlotta

Me (after best friend spent a week end in jail for drunk and disorderly):
Why don't you go with me to AA?
Best friend: I don't like AA, it's full of alcoholics. I was just having a good time!

and for once, I was left speechless.

BoxinRotz

I really love this thread in a deep dark way. LMAO

When AH was drunk a few weeks ago, he was trying to tell me he needed to cut the lawn. He kept saying:

I need to go f**k the lawn!

Just absolutely out of his mind and he says, Don't worry about me. I'm fine Baby! Just OMFG!!!

dandylion

I may have written this before....or not.

My son tried to convince me that the gardener had been bring empty liquor bottles to our house---sneaking them past me and placing them under my son's mattress. (our gardener doesn't drink, and his house is several miles from ours). When I asked why he didn't put them in a more convenient garbage can somewhere else, he said:

That is a very good question--you should talk to Carlos about that.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dandylion

fml23

Oh this is my first time reading this post! Love! I can't believe all the ridiculous similarities between the As. My all time favorite, from my now unemployed AH when he was still a personal trainer/paramedic and training for a marathon. This is when I used to try to 'talk' about his drinking.

ME: how can you be such a health and fitness fanatic and not be concerned about how your drinking impacts your health? I mean you know what it does to you, like aren't you worried it catch up to you?

AH: that's why I only drink red wine.

ME: right, but you drink like several bottles a night. Doesn't the hangover make it hard to enjoy your runs?

AH: no. Alcohol loosens my muscles and speeds muscle repair. You don't understand cause your not an athlete. The wine improves my running and relaxes my mind. Running and wine go hand and hand. How do you think the Greeks did it?

Three weeks later after not drinking for a few days (I was then pregnant and trying to control his drinking) AH: my mileage just hasn't picked up. I told you this would happen. You're so controlling, you just wanted an excuse to ruin BOTH my hobbies.

dandylion

fm123---I am rendered almost speechless---that is rationalization at it's very finest!!!!!!


by the way, I wonder if he remembers what happened to the Greeks........


dandylion

Lulu39

I got totally creeped out being perved on by my abusive drunken X.

Of course we get dressed quickly when we know we are being leered at by a drooling, abusive drunk!

FireSprite

Oh my, I can't get over this rationalization!!!!