QUACKERs.... Part 2
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: England, UK
Posts: 257
ABF: I'm not going to go out drinking tomorrow night like I normally do
ME: OK (not believing him for a second). I'm gonna be out between half 7 and 9.
ABF: Oh so you won't be here?
ME: No.
next day...
ABF: I am going out tonight
ME: I thought you said you weren't
ABF: Well you are going out so now I have to.
Yup thats how it works!
ME: OK (not believing him for a second). I'm gonna be out between half 7 and 9.
ABF: Oh so you won't be here?
ME: No.
next day...
ABF: I am going out tonight
ME: I thought you said you weren't
ABF: Well you are going out so now I have to.
Yup thats how it works!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New York
Posts: 877
Following an episode of drunken verbal abuse..
Me: I know you were drunk last night. Denying it makes all the horrible things you said even worse.
Him: I have done nothing wrong.
I have nothing to say to you.
I am sick of being the one always at fault.
You can claim it's not the truth, but you know deep down inside that it is. And you know that you believe it.
I love you but can't handle this anymore. If you knew what it felt like to always feel like the one person you love more than anything always feels that you are wrong and ****** up, then maybe you would understand.
I apologize for last night.
Me (to myself): WHAAAAAAT?????
Me: I know you were drunk last night. Denying it makes all the horrible things you said even worse.
Him: I have done nothing wrong.
I have nothing to say to you.
I am sick of being the one always at fault.
You can claim it's not the truth, but you know deep down inside that it is. And you know that you believe it.
I love you but can't handle this anymore. If you knew what it felt like to always feel like the one person you love more than anything always feels that you are wrong and ****** up, then maybe you would understand.
I apologize for last night.
Me (to myself): WHAAAAAAT?????
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 121
School night for the kids...all of us are in bed.
text comes in at 11:30pm from the bar...
AH: "I love you more than anything"
ME: Nothing
11:45pm
Ah: "Hello, I said I love you."
Me: nothing
12am
AH: "So you gonna meet me here or what?"
ME: nothing (I'm asleep-duh).
12:45am
AH: "Why wont you come see me?"
ME: nothing
1:45am
AH: "So you gonna give me a ride or not?"
ME: waking in the morning to read these texts: shaking my head, thinking WOW SERIOUSLY?!
text comes in at 11:30pm from the bar...
AH: "I love you more than anything"
ME: Nothing
11:45pm
Ah: "Hello, I said I love you."
Me: nothing
12am
AH: "So you gonna meet me here or what?"
ME: nothing (I'm asleep-duh).
12:45am
AH: "Why wont you come see me?"
ME: nothing
1:45am
AH: "So you gonna give me a ride or not?"
ME: waking in the morning to read these texts: shaking my head, thinking WOW SERIOUSLY?!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: atlanta, ga
Posts: 3,581
During his relapse while at the beach then AH decided to go to the marina for a bag of ice we didn't need before we went fishing - I pointed out we had several in the freezer.
He came back an hour and a half later completely hammered (marina 5 min away) sans ice. I said "where's the ice"? he said "you said we didn't need any". I said you reek of booze ....response "I brushed my teeth before I left its mouthwash". You are slurring and stumbling you are drunk ...."NO I AM NOT! Its my blood sugar (diabetic) haven't you seen my card in my wallet that police can see not to assume I am drunk. Jesus I can't BELIEVE you"!
He came back an hour and a half later completely hammered (marina 5 min away) sans ice. I said "where's the ice"? he said "you said we didn't need any". I said you reek of booze ....response "I brushed my teeth before I left its mouthwash". You are slurring and stumbling you are drunk ...."NO I AM NOT! Its my blood sugar (diabetic) haven't you seen my card in my wallet that police can see not to assume I am drunk. Jesus I can't BELIEVE you"!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Said by my adult son regarding AA: I don't want to sit in a room with a bunch of drunks listening to their sob stories. I don't want to turn out like them!!(this happened years before I knew what QUACKING was)
dandylion
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: England, UK
Posts: 257
Originally Posted by dandylion 
Said by my adult son regarding AA: I don't want to sit in a room with a bunch of drunks listening to their sob stories. I don't want to turn out like them!!(this happened years before I knew what QUACKING was)
dandylion
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: My Happy Place
Posts: 700
This from a man who starts every saturday he has off drinking whiskey with a splash, ok more like a drop of soda, proceeds to drink til he feels like sleeping then eats and passes out........
"You don't ever want to do anything but lay around all day!"
OMG! their thought process is down right frightening!
"You don't ever want to do anything but lay around all day!"
OMG! their thought process is down right frightening!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 391
This one is from a few years back - but sticks with me:
On a Friday night when I get home from work and he is clearly drunk:
AH: " Don't give me that look! I'm sick of the hair you get across your a%% whenever I unwind with a freakin cocktail. "
(mind you ... this cocktail is swigs right from the bottle hidden in the basement)
The following Tuesday when AH is feeling guilt and the Friday night cocktail argument sounds ridiculous since it's Tuesday afternoon at 3:45 and he can't walk straight -
"I wouldn't drink if you didn't always have a hair across your a%%"
On a Friday night when I get home from work and he is clearly drunk:
AH: " Don't give me that look! I'm sick of the hair you get across your a%% whenever I unwind with a freakin cocktail. "
(mind you ... this cocktail is swigs right from the bottle hidden in the basement)
The following Tuesday when AH is feeling guilt and the Friday night cocktail argument sounds ridiculous since it's Tuesday afternoon at 3:45 and he can't walk straight -
"I wouldn't drink if you didn't always have a hair across your a%%"
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,699
Here's my latest.
A few months ago, I made a boundary that ABF cannot sleep in our room with me when he's drunk, because it makes for a miserable night for me and I get no sleep. I can't function well at work after a night of kicking, yelling and swearing, spitting, and pushing me in his drunken sleep stupor. Because of this, he sleeps in the guest room 1 - 3 nights a week.
Last night he was trying to actually NOT drink. The wrestling process he was going through was painfully clear. Finally his alcoholic voice blurted out, "you know, I actually sleep way better in the spare bedroom."
ME: "Of course you do - you are always wasted when you sleep in there."
ABF: "No, I think it's because the bed is just more firm and comfortable." *Goes and makes himself a drink - a flipple. (I call it a flipple because it's not a double, not a a triple, and there is really no word to describe the amount of vodka in the drinks he makes himself.)
Yeah.....a more comfy bed, I'm sure that's it.
A few months ago, I made a boundary that ABF cannot sleep in our room with me when he's drunk, because it makes for a miserable night for me and I get no sleep. I can't function well at work after a night of kicking, yelling and swearing, spitting, and pushing me in his drunken sleep stupor. Because of this, he sleeps in the guest room 1 - 3 nights a week.
Last night he was trying to actually NOT drink. The wrestling process he was going through was painfully clear. Finally his alcoholic voice blurted out, "you know, I actually sleep way better in the spare bedroom."
ME: "Of course you do - you are always wasted when you sleep in there."
ABF: "No, I think it's because the bed is just more firm and comfortable." *Goes and makes himself a drink - a flipple. (I call it a flipple because it's not a double, not a a triple, and there is really no word to describe the amount of vodka in the drinks he makes himself.)
Yeah.....a more comfy bed, I'm sure that's it.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 3,095
Originally Posted by Wavy
Me: I don't enjoy being around you when you've been drinking
Him: Well you should drink more then it wouldn't be such a problem.
Erm no. Thanks.
Him: Well you should drink more then it wouldn't be such a problem.
Erm no. Thanks.
I also got quite frequently: "you need to relax-- have a few drinks" or "it would do you good to drink more so you would calm the f*** down". That was usually said when I was setting limits around his unacceptable behavior. But I'm the one who needed to calm down. OOOOOOkay.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 205
Originally Posted by Missus
The other night, AH asked me to drive him to the pub (yes, I know, enabling, but it was either that or have him crack the sads). Anyway, he asked if I could take him in 10 minutes. About half an hour later, he comes in, says nothing, just "it's okay" when I ask him what's up and the next thing I realize he's walked himself off down there. Okay. Saves me a trip. Apparently I am supposed to go looking for him after 10 minutes to tell him I'm ready *shrug*.
This is all background, stick with me.
He comes home all cranky because his chronic back pain is playing up and he's obviously remembered to take a pain pill or three as well as the minimum 12 cans of beer for the day and whatever he drank at the pub. Comes to bed after me, says "NIGHT!" nice & loud, and then, when I give no real response except a sleepy "night", mutters about how he's going to go to (city on the other side of the country where his brother lives) tomorrow. Or the next day. Another pause, then "I might come back next year."
And thanks to many years of reading on this forum, and taking in the wisdom of those who've been there, done that, bought the tee shirt, I just said "mmm?" and went to sleep.
It was like the duck was quacking me a lullaby :-)
Thank you to all those who have gone before, your journey has been hard, but your willingness to share has helped countless numbers of people like myself who read, and read, and read some more, and may never post about their struggles but take comfort in knowing they're not alone, not crazy.
Oh, and that was Sunday night. He's still here, no mention of taking off anywhere.
This is all background, stick with me.
He comes home all cranky because his chronic back pain is playing up and he's obviously remembered to take a pain pill or three as well as the minimum 12 cans of beer for the day and whatever he drank at the pub. Comes to bed after me, says "NIGHT!" nice & loud, and then, when I give no real response except a sleepy "night", mutters about how he's going to go to (city on the other side of the country where his brother lives) tomorrow. Or the next day. Another pause, then "I might come back next year."
And thanks to many years of reading on this forum, and taking in the wisdom of those who've been there, done that, bought the tee shirt, I just said "mmm?" and went to sleep.
It was like the duck was quacking me a lullaby :-)
Thank you to all those who have gone before, your journey has been hard, but your willingness to share has helped countless numbers of people like myself who read, and read, and read some more, and may never post about their struggles but take comfort in knowing they're not alone, not crazy.
Oh, and that was Sunday night. He's still here, no mention of taking off anywhere.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Indiana
Posts: 90
Originally Posted by BtheChange
Me: So, now that you're working, I'd like to pay the mortgage this month.
(R?)AH: You're always nagging me so much that I've thought about cheating on you just to give you something to really complain about.
AH: You tricked me into going to rehab. My brain was fuzzy because I had just had a seizure (from withdrawal or overdrinking--we're not sure because he can't remember).
Docs in ER: Do you drink alcohol?
AH: Yeah I have a cocktail once in a while (aka guzzling vodka chased by Gatorade in the car then coming inside to pass out at the dinner table). Somehow calling it a cocktail makes it sound so much more classy and benign, no?
AH: I'm not like those people at AA, I'm motivated. (You're children are on food stamps, you're going to lose your home, your wife has filed for divorce, you don't shave or get haircuts--perhaps you could expand upon or clarify "motivated"?!?)
AH: We wouldn't have all these money problems if you bought the cheaper spaghetti sauce.
This is my first post here. SR has been so incredibly helpful in pulling away from this insanity. Enjoy the Quacks! I sure have gotten a much needed belly laugh out of so many of the other ones here.
(R?)AH: You're always nagging me so much that I've thought about cheating on you just to give you something to really complain about.
AH: You tricked me into going to rehab. My brain was fuzzy because I had just had a seizure (from withdrawal or overdrinking--we're not sure because he can't remember).
Docs in ER: Do you drink alcohol?
AH: Yeah I have a cocktail once in a while (aka guzzling vodka chased by Gatorade in the car then coming inside to pass out at the dinner table). Somehow calling it a cocktail makes it sound so much more classy and benign, no?
AH: I'm not like those people at AA, I'm motivated. (You're children are on food stamps, you're going to lose your home, your wife has filed for divorce, you don't shave or get haircuts--perhaps you could expand upon or clarify "motivated"?!?)
AH: We wouldn't have all these money problems if you bought the cheaper spaghetti sauce.
This is my first post here. SR has been so incredibly helpful in pulling away from this insanity. Enjoy the Quacks! I sure have gotten a much needed belly laugh out of so many of the other ones here.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Indiana
Posts: 90
My A is currently in treatment. This is what he's learned thus far:
Me: "Man, I sure wish I had some ice cream right now"
Him: "They say when your coming off alcohol you crave sweet things"
Me: "I just started me period, you idiot. I'm not coming off booze"
Me: "Man, I sure wish I had some ice cream right now"
Him: "They say when your coming off alcohol you crave sweet things"
Me: "I just started me period, you idiot. I'm not coming off booze"
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 21
Love this thread!
My AH was on the phone with his band mate in England discussing a project they're working on.
He also drank 5 beers in about 4.5 hours. Not drunk per se.. but definitely not sober either.
He comes in to talk to me:
AH: Wow, he was smoking pot while he was on the phone with me.
ME: How did that make you feel?
AH: Like he just wasn't present at all.
ME: Yeah, I bet. I totally get that.
AH: Yeah, pot is so different to alcohol. I mean.. when he's high it actually alters his belief system. Whereas, alcohol makes you kinda sober.
ME: (Quietly nodding my head and paying attention to washing dishes in sink because if I start laughing and or calling him out... it will turn into a huge argument.)
WOW.
Alcohol makes you kinda sober.
There's one for the books eh?
My AH was on the phone with his band mate in England discussing a project they're working on.
He also drank 5 beers in about 4.5 hours. Not drunk per se.. but definitely not sober either.
He comes in to talk to me:
AH: Wow, he was smoking pot while he was on the phone with me.
ME: How did that make you feel?
AH: Like he just wasn't present at all.
ME: Yeah, I bet. I totally get that.
AH: Yeah, pot is so different to alcohol. I mean.. when he's high it actually alters his belief system. Whereas, alcohol makes you kinda sober.
ME: (Quietly nodding my head and paying attention to washing dishes in sink because if I start laughing and or calling him out... it will turn into a huge argument.)
WOW.
Alcohol makes you kinda sober.
There's one for the books eh?
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