JenK2

I am the mother of an alcoholic son. He is ill and has caused chaos.

BUT.. you are not only living with an alcoholic but an abuser. Who would abuse you alcohol or not. I know.. I am a counsellor for abused women and you need to GET out now. Call a local shelter in your area for help. You can move on from there and get the proper referrals for counselling, legal help and a myriad of other supports.. ... Do it today. Good luck .. I know how hard it is..

Titanic

Step One - we admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable. AA is for him. Al-Anon is for you. Step One is the same in both programs. Are either of you in your own recovery?

thislonelygirl

No titanic we are not. I instead of al anon group found this forum and he has had intentions of aa ie has the information and place needed to go but has not.
He admits he has a problem but its like recovery is not a priority.

thislonelygirl

I agree but even without his hatefullness when drunk I would consider all alcoholics abusers in some shape or form. My opinion but because alcoholism is a family disease and doesn't just effect the alcoholic ie we lose sleep over it. Worry. Witness it and left with the burdens of the aftermath of their drunk nights. We have the stress that goes along with it. The humiliation from their walking blackouts (falling asleep at random places,saying things we wouldn't say and doing things we wouldn't do)
now I'm not saying alcoholics are bad but to say that the family of an alcoholic doesn't suffer mentally and physically by the alcoholic who unintentional yet intentionally as they at times are in denial would be far from truth. So yes with an alcoholic alone I have been abused. Not to say that his drunken slurs wouldn't be considered abuse on theur own.
My only sanctuary to the madness is the few moments sometimes day when he's sober and this online forum even al anon

Titanic

thislonelygirl, I think you would find Al-Anon extremely helpful, informative and supportive. It's an added dimension to what happens here on SR.