choublak

A true story someone was telling about their alcoholic mother.
Someone told her she was an alcoholic. She wanted assurance from AA that she wasn't. Then she would have the proof that she needed to continue drinking. So, she called the number of a Help Line which referred her to an AA sponsor. When the man answered the phone, she said to him, "I'm calling because I think I may be an alcoholic." The man responded with, "Well when you're sure, call me back." and he hung up. In other words, she was calling a Help Line in the first place because she wanted someone to tell her that she wasn't an alcoholic and then she would be justified in continuing to drink. Apparently you don't call and say, "I think I may be an alcoholic". You say "I'm an alcoholic".

Thumper

I've never called a help line so I have no idea how that goes and if that is a typical response or not.

Alcoholism puts a crazy spin on reality - proof abounds.

choublak

I thought the first step was admitting a problem though.

Thumper

I think it is but that doesn't mean people don't dance around that for a long time before getting there.

I did a fair amount of dancing myself and I'm not even the addicted one

choublak

That's another thing, if someone called an Al-Anon line and said "I think I might have a problem", I don't think they would be told "call back when you're sure" and then hung up on.

cli

This reminds me of a stupid urban legend I heard about someone's friend's grandma's cousin...

lillamy

Unless she was on speakerphone with her mother at the time, I would put all the faith in the truthfulness of that story that I do in anything else an alcoholic says.

choublak

But if the woman was calling a help line on her own, how do we know she wasn't reaching out for help? She was referred to an AA sponsor, and then got hung up on just because of semantics? That's what I don't get.

Thumper

Not knowing a thing about AA Helplines or sponsors it could be
* not a true story to begin with
* Not the complete story. Parts of it might be true, parts of it might be left out etc.
* A correct response by the sponsor for reasons I wouldn't know
* A rogue sponsor that responded in the wrong way
* Only she knows if she really wants help, validation to drink, or some elements of both.

My vote is not the full story.

It makes no difference actually. There are a ton of ways to get help with addictions. If someone wants help - it is easy enough to find it.

Tuffgirl

Having had volunteer experiences in help lines, folks are trained to handle phone calls and none of the training I've been a part of suggested hanging up on anyone. Ever.

I'm with the rest - a nice story spun to justify their decision to continue drinking. Refer them online to the 20 question "Am I an Alcoholic" survey instead.

choublak

It's that I asked the person why her mother was calling a Help Line in the first place and she was like, "You seem to be having trouble getting it. She was calling a Help Line because she wanted someone to tell her that she wasn't an alcoholic and then she would be justified in continuing to drink her three fifths of bourbon and flip her family the bird when they said anything."

I don't know exactly what it is I'm not getting, and she was being kind of rude to me besides. Like, duh, you should know my mom's ulterior motive, it's so obvious.

She didn't actually say that last part. It was in her tone of voice.

Justfor1

I believe that is a huge myth. Deep down inside most alcoholics know that they have a serious problem. For some alcoholics they know they are alcoholics & give up on themselves.

Taking5

There is no proof this ever happened. All we have is an alcoholic's word for it.

AlcoholicLove

And we all know how reliable that is.....

choublak

Well, the alcoholic and her daughter.

Carol Star

I answer phones at an AA office. We just tell them where the meetings are or give them names of temp sponsors.

choublak

Yeah it was a temp sponsor who said call back when you're sure and hung up.

akrasia

I doubt it happened quite like that. But if she said something like, "I may be an alcoholic but I want to continue drinking" I'm glad she got hung up on.