nmamommy

Hi,
I just wanted to say hello. My name is Maria and I strongly suspect my husband is an Alcoholic. He is not drinking much now, and things are still real bad. He has been real quick to anger and in the past 2 months myself, my 6 yr old and my 5 yr old have gotten physically hurt by him. That is all I know about cause I am not aroung him and the kids all the time (we also have a 2 yr old). There has been constant emotional abuse. I have a chronic pain illness which complicates things. Things got ugly after the past weekend and I told him I wantd him out. I am getting the same old song and dance about how he knows he has problems and h doesn't know if the problems cause him to drink or if the drinking causes his problems. Same differnce to me. In any case, this time he seems to be actively seeking help. Si I decided to let him stay for 3 weks to see if he really means it. I am gonna have him sign a contract so I have it in writing that no help in 3 weeks and he is out, and if he hurts one of the kids again, he goes for good. I think we will sign the contract when I go with him to see his therapist with him next Tuesday. I started going to a few al anon meetings. They seem like they will be helpful, except they go so late. There aren't that many during the day that have babysitting, and I get real achey at night, but I'm gonna try to stick with it. This is great to have this here. Do you all have scheduled chats or anything? Thanks for listening.
Maria

Gabe

Hi Maria,
I'm glad you joined us.
I'm sorry that you're going through such a hard time with your husband. It sounds like you've set some pretty clear boundaries, that is a good thing. Especially when it comes to physical violence.
There are a lot of people here who care and will offer you encouragement and support. Stick around.
There are scheduled chats, but I'm not sure if the chat forum is up and running yet. We recently had some problems with the board. Check out the chat forum for updates.
Peace,
Gabe

JT

Welcome Maria,

I am glad to hear you have taken a stand about the violence. That is something that no one should ever have to live with. There are good guys and bad guys...in my case if I remove the alcohol my hubby is a good guy.

Stick around. There is alot of support and experience here.
Hugs,
JT

nmamommy

Hi,
Thanks so much for making me feel welcome. It has been a tough time here lately. I just couldn't let this all go on anymore. It's just wird because he doesn't drink everynight, although I think he would like to. He doesn't hit us or blatenly call us stupid or anything. It is much more subtle. He doesn't yell, and when he is angry it is his tone of voice, the look on his face, and his body language that are scary. I didn't realize that over the years he has worn me down and I have lost my self confidence, self worth and basically, the person I used to be. He is doing the same thing to the kids. Funny how one person can do that to you. The physical part is usually something like w ar arguing and I have had enough and I try to leave the room and he physically restrains me from leaving. He is a lot bigger then me and it hurts. With the kids it is stuff like pushing or pulling on them, or squeezing their arm or something hard so it hurts them. He talked this morning about wanting to go to some AA meetings. I'm not holding my breath, but I can always hope.
Thanks again,
Maria