ahhhhhh really? really?

Old 10-17-2012, 11:28 AM
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ahhhhhh really? really?

so went to dinner with my former meth addit friend last fri night and her man is out of prison has been for a month and she has no mentioned to her fam that she is with him and i guess even though he hasnt found a job his younger sis just moved from vegas and she is planning to move in with her and her bf,and although her bf hasnt found a job my friend is just going to split rent with his sis! just let him freeload!! meanwhile the sis that moved down from vegas is a coke head and has coke at the house!!! I tried as a friend of 20 years to say hey u two cant be around that. she got efense and said oh if we move in together ill tell him thats not allowed. haha. are u kidding me? she barely spoke of him till i asked i guess shell prob end up falling down and hitting rock bottom again i fear so sad. as soon as she told me the sis was a coke head i just felt so sad because he just coming out of jail for the 3rd time or whatever and her as a former addict arnt getting away from all that. she is beyond he lp. oh, and he never officailly got divorced from his wife that he has two kids with!! omg!!!
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Old 10-17-2012, 11:58 AM
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Wow, yes, all of that is nuts! But you said it, "she is beyond help." YOUR help, anyway. If after 20 years you haven't gotten through, I don't think it's likely you will now! Save your breath and energy for yourself!
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Old 10-17-2012, 12:18 PM
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OMG is right!!!! another affirmation of how effed up this disease is, and it's effect on all who love/ are involved with an addict.
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Old 10-17-2012, 12:21 PM
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how sad that she doesn't see that life can be different ~

prayers for all - that hopefully someone sees a way to seek change
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Old 10-18-2012, 08:07 AM
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thanks for cont'd support

thanks for the support sorry for typos yesterday comp was freezing like crazy. yes its been a struggle on so many levels in so many ways since i moved out her 6 years ago i never imagined my bestie was an addict and so messed up just thought she had a little deppression. besides the addiction and depression and messed up boyfriend i felt that she didnt want to be super close as she pushed me away for three years, and then about 3 years ago suddenly when her man went in she wanted to be a bestie again but on her terms and when she felt like it. im finally emotionally detached and finally over it, it still makes me sad at times but i have finally moved on and come to peace with it.
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Old 10-18-2012, 08:55 AM
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My best friend is an alcoholic, and she is dying of liver failure right now. I am glad I was able to reconnect with her last winter and have a few months with her while she was sober.

Your friend is lost. If I can offer one piece of advice, it would be to have compassion. Now, that doesn't mean you have to put up with her craziness or any cruelty, just know that underneath it all is a sick person. And chances are she knows this about herself too.

It kills me that I am losing my friend to alcoholism, that it could have been prevented, but that time has since passed and now there is no hope anymore for her finding sobriety. But I sit with her each day, holding her hand, wishing her peace. I know if she could have a do-over, she'd not make the same choices this time around. I know this is not her legacy she wanted to leave.

Detachment is good, but do it with love and prayers that your friend finds her way soon, and doesn't go down the path mine has.
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Old 10-18-2012, 09:05 AM
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Dear Tuffgirl, I am glad that your friend is able to have the compassion and presence of a truly loving friend, at this time.

Tuffgirl, my thoughts are with you.

Very sincerely, dandylion
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