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Old 10-17-2012, 09:59 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Is My Friend Killing Himself?


I recently moved in with my good friend of about 10 years. In the time I've known him, I've really seen his health and well-being take a turn for the worse. I met him when he was a 20-year-old outgoing guy who weighed about 200 pounds, and now he's a 30-year-old shut-in who weighs 300-400 pounds.

Aside from his expanding waistline, what worries me most is his drinking. I've kept track: aside from two days of sobriety, he's been drinking every single day since September 4th. EVERY DAY for like a month and a half. And I'm definitely not talking one or two beers, but maybe half or 3/4ths of a 1.75L bottle of vodka each night. He has to drink A LOT to get drunk, and he gets drunk daily.

Now, as far as I know, he doesn't have any physical signs of addiction. He doesn't get the shakes, or even bad hangovers. He seems to have no adverse physical reaction if he takes a day off drinking. However, I have heard him vomiting quite a bit lately, at least every few days if not more.

I guess my question is: how worried should I be? I grew up with an alcoholic mother, and I watched her health slowly deteriorate until she died of a heart attack in her 50s. Am I watching the same thing happen again?

I guess I ignored this for awhile because his drinking seemed "fun", like the kind of normal party-time drinking young people do. It's not fun anymore. The weight gain, the vomiting, drinking alone, the endless empty bottles of vodka, and he can barely seem to stay awake for more than a few hours a day. What sort of health risks should I be concerned about?
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Old 10-17-2012, 10:29 AM   #2 (permalink)
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" What sort of health risks should I be concerned about? " (DonW79)

I would be most concerned about my own health and wellbeing. Living in an addicted household can suck the very life right out of YOU.

Alcoholism and Obesity share many health risks, heart problems, kidney problems, diabetic problems, circulation problems...... the list can go on and on....... but only your friend can address his own issues.

Hope you have the opportunity to read the sticky's at the top of the forum, lots of knowledge and wisdom that can help you to understand what a horrid disease this is.
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Old 10-17-2012, 10:41 AM   #3 (permalink)
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"How worried should I be?"

From what you describe, it sounds very worrisome. I think you are seeing physical signs of addiction with the vomiting and the weight gain. It must be very difficult to be a witness to this deterioration. Have you spoken to him about his drinking? Does he seem as though he wants to stop and get well?

It's certainly not your job to fix him but be careful not to enable him. There is a lot of information on this forum about enabling. Educate yourself. It's something you can do for you and it may wind up helping him.

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Old 10-17-2012, 12:29 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Thanks for the replies. It's interesting that both of you mention that it's not my job to fix him and he has to take care of his own issues. That's exactly how I feel, but part of me feels guilty for feeling that way, as though I should be trying to do something.

He has no interest in helping himself other than a couple half-hearted "I should stop drinking and hop on a treadmill" sort of statements, but that never happens.
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