Yurt

Actually, I am not terribly interested in dating at the moment. My friend and I spend Saturday afternoons and Wednesday evenings together, taking in lunch, going for walks, or just talking. I know it is too soon to put my antennae up for anyone else, and I enjoy this fellow's company when we are together. Because of his issues (not very spontaneous) and my work schedule, not much time for anything else. My DD is not crazy about him because she says he is "weird", and he doesn't want to force himself on her.
So, lots of time to see what he is about, or to wait until I am receptive to others.

NWGRITS

I'm an Aspie. I've been accused of being heartless and unfeeling because I don't feel things the same way other people do. I can say that I don't see why people get do upset over pets. It's an animal; there are plenty more of them out there. They all smell and will poop in your house. So I get where he's coming from in that regard. I don't know why there's such a need for excessive emotion unless, say, a real person died. But that's just how I'm wired.

Yurt

I am certain that my friend is neither heartless or unfeeling, but he generally won't tell you how he feels unless you ask direct questions. He does like dogs, but doesn't "get" cats. He has no pets, nor does he intend to keep any. He does, however, like to stop at the local pet stores and "play" with the puppies that are being offered up for adoption. Sometimes, he reminds me of a 66 year old kid! I love those afternoons.

NWGRITS

I won't, until something triggers the explosion. Or I'll make a comment not realizing it's overly critical and probably shot straight through the heart. Part of that is Aspergers, part of it is being an adult child (Don't talk, don't think, don't feel).

oldsoul1122

I thought my ex man friend had Asperger's but now that I've had time and space to reflect I think he's a blend of narcissist/sociopath/psychopath. NEVER wanted to discus anything that involved problems, feelings, emotions. When I was hurting or upset he actually got pleasure out of it. He brainwashed and played Gaslight games. I learned to numb and discard my feelings to keep the peace. This lasted many years. After months I'm still recovering from this "relationship." I was the only one in it actually. My system is a mess like I have PTSD with problems functioning.

Chickadees

Dandylion... I don't post often but read here a lot (so sorry if this seems like a one off from a complete stranger/newby).

Maybe he's just insensitive? Why read too much into it?

Good Roads,
Chick

jarp

My Dad had high functioning Autism (Aspergers but with a low IQ). I agree with onlythetruth. My Dad had no empathy whatsoever - he couldnt see past his own needs at all. He was also violent. But there was no intent to hurt another - he took no pleasure in hurting....he also took no pain either. It just 'was' because that is who he was, and its what he needed at the time.

I think its about the motivation and the reward from the behaviour. Dad wasnt motivated to hurt, he actually couldnt understand that others even did hurt. He had no ability. Like asking someone to speak German when they dont know the language.

hopeful4

My X was told by a fellow coworker in the mental health field that she belueves hepeeger is high functioning aspergers. He certainly fits the bill. He also lacks empathy in many situations. I can only say im sorry for the whole situation.

Much Love