PaperDolls

That's sort of a loaded question but let's just stick with this question I have ....

My 20 year old step-daughter lives in Arizona with her boyfriend and 1 year old son. We know that the boyfriend has been a marijuana dealer in the past. The last I knew, he wasn't employed after being fired for missing work (I think).

I could go on and on about the issues we've got with her but I won't.

Here's the question .... she changes cell phone numbers more than anyone I know and I know a lot of people. Most recently, it was one number last week and a different one this week. In the past 6 months, shes changed it probably 5 times, may be more. Every time I ask her why, she says "I got a new phone and they wouldn't let me keep my old number."

At first, I thought it was because they couldn't pay the bill and it got shut off. When they got the cash to get new ones, they did with a new company. I'm pretty sure she's gone through every company out there. That can't be it.

Something funny is going on, right? This isn't normal, right?

It's impossible to get a straight answer from her. I don't even know why I try. She must think I'm much more naive than I am.

How do I deal with this and let her know I know this isn't normal? I've said it outright but it's like she doesn't hear me. Ugh.

BlueSkiesAgain

Drug dealers often use prepaid cell phones and switch often to keep the phones from being tapped or traced. I read something one time about them being called "Burners". Do a google search on - Burners drug dealers frequently changing cell phones

Katiekate

Blueskies has the same exact thought I did.

Toss

I'm no expert, but it is the law now that if you change cell phone companies, you have the right to take your existing cell number with you (if you request to port it over), so the "they won't let me" comment is bunk.

Toss

wicked

Oh, I can think of several reasons why they have different numbers every few days, and none of them are good.

Why do you want to tell her that it isn't normal? What have you said outright?
Sounds like she doesn't want to tell you anything.

If you know, then what?

No you are not naive, and you picture looks a little crazy, but I have seen that face in the mirror before. EEEEEK!

Freedom1990

When I feel myself being hooked into someone else's dysfunctional crap, I ask myself two questions...

!. How is my conscious contact with my higher power?

2. What step am I working on?

Sending hugs of support!

PS. How is that precious baby of yours doing?

choublak

She's probably using prepaid cell phones anonymously. TracFone even has a line on their registration page that says "If you wish to skip this step, please click here" next to where you would put your name.

PaperDolls

I was thinking all of the above.

Wicked, you hit the nail on the head. Say she gets honest with me ... then what? It doesn't really matter, it's just frustrating as hell. She'll text me out of the blue, of course I don't know who it is for sure....and then she acts like I'm crazy when I ask about her phone number. I told her outright that the "they won't let me keep my number" stuff is crap. Again, its doesn't matter she just frustrates me so much I can't even explain it.

She moved to Az when she was 6 months pregnant. Last Christmas we learned that her baby boy was taken from her by the state. We couldn't get a straight answer out of her as to why. It was a bunch of crap and we knew it and when we called her on it she said we didn't trust her and that she can do this and to leave her alone about it. OMG, really?



Freedom - you said exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you.


PS. Our baby boy is awesome! He just turned 6 months old today!! Wow. I posted some pics in my album ... I need to add some new ones. I'll try tomorrow.

MsPINKAcres

PD -
does sound fishy but like Wicked said - what can we do about it???
ugh ugh ugh right?
Hope that her little baby is ok - that's the heartbreaking part of it!!

And your little one - wahoo 6 months - what a fun age - but to be honest isn't it all fun thru recovery eyes? I know I've learned that now with our granddaughter - take each age as a fun age!

Enjoy your day & PINK HUGS,
Rita

PaperDolls

I'm worried about her baby too. That's what kills me really. I'm totally fine with letting her screw up her life all on her own .... I did that, so did her dad and we made it out of that hole. Besides, I don't have the energy to try to fix her. I'm pretty sure she isn't a drinker or drug user but really I don't know. And again, what could I do? My main concern is her son.

Thankfully I didn't have kids while I was still out there drinking. I always thought I was being punished for being a horrible person. I didn't think I could ever get pregnant. I thought I was too old. Then, three years into my sobriety I was proven wrong. I never thought I could love something so much that wears me out like this. It's awesome.

choublak

Her baby was taken from her because she's unfit as a mother, for now. The fact that you can't get a straight answer from her should be reason enough as to why.

PaperDolls

Oh we know what she told us wan't the truth at all. None of it added up in the least. She must think we're completely clueless ... or at least, she wishes we were.

She's gotten him back now. According to her, it's all over.

Ponder

Well, Arizona is pretty liberal when it comes to public records. A quick google search of "Arizona court records" and you come to a site that you can look up any criminal case, past or present for free.

Family court records are not available however.

choublak

She seems to be taking this having had her child taken away very lightly, IMHO. She had the baby taken away, then got him back and yet is still being dodgy with the phones. In any case it's not you who's the crazy one...

NYCDoglvr

Sounds like she's using disposable cell phones..........