First Al-Anon meeting
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 1,407
I was angry, resentful, and nervous as hell my first meeting. I didn't want to be part of AlAnon, that meant acknowledging that addiction was part of my life. And I didn't want a life centered around AlANon. Ugh. I felt like throwing up when I walked in that room. I didn't talk that first meeting, I just listened. And I heard a few pearls that made me think. I felt strangely calmer leaving that evening.
Now, it took 3 different groups before I found one that I really "fit" with. So give it time. But I am grateful for the gift of AlAnon in my life, and look forward to my meetings. With or without addiction in my life, AlAnon has taught me a lot about serenity and self care.
Now, it took 3 different groups before I found one that I really "fit" with. So give it time. But I am grateful for the gift of AlAnon in my life, and look forward to my meetings. With or without addiction in my life, AlAnon has taught me a lot about serenity and self care.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 7
When I went to my first I thought I heard the voice of my son's scoutmaster coming from the room. Totally freaked me out and I had to go back to my car to get my act together. I figured if he was in there then we were in the secret together, so I went in. It wasn't him!
That was a month ago, and it has already given me lots of tools for dealing with AW. I will keep coming back.
Ken
That was a month ago, and it has already given me lots of tools for dealing with AW. I will keep coming back.
Ken
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New York
Posts: 59
I know what you mean about going to a meeting.. I haven't gone to one yet and don't even know where to look to find one but I am not looking forward to sharing and I will probably be feeling the same way..
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 588
My first meeting became the group I still go to.
I was crying before I got out of my car. I was so tense, I felt brittle. This was it. I was going to publicly admit there was a problem of alcoholism in my home. I had tried everything I knew of, to no avail, and knew that he was worse and I was getting sicker and sicker. These people had to know what I should do to make it all stop.
I steadied myself, dried my tears and headed up the stairs to the meeting. I think my jaw dropped as I walked in and a warm and loving person up and hugged me and welcomed me. I'm not a huggy person and it was painful for me, and heart-melting too.
And there was laughter and more hugs, and more warm welcomes. That completely blew my plan to sneak into the back row and listen and sneak out again!
I couldn't see the words in the pamphlet through my tears to follow along so I tried to listen. Ah, yeah, the spiritual stuff. I had heard about that and decided to just try and get through it. (I didn't have a Higher Power then, and I still don't although I tried to be open to it - I had been raised in a church-going home, but it was all sort of left at church.)
The first meeting was sort of a soft blur, but I had heard to go to six before deciding.
By the second meeting I realized that they weren't giving me the concrete answers I needed to fix him.
By the third meeting I am realizing that they think I am part of the problem. Now I am pissed.
By the fourth meeting I am thinking...what....we do the same readings over and over each week?
By the fifth meeting I am wondering why some have been attending for so long? Don't they ever finish the program? Graduate? Get healed?
By the sixth meeting I realized that although I still cried, still had no Higher Power, still wondered how it all worked, I knew that I felt better after the meeting. I knew that some of these people had a quiet, easy strength, despite their woes, and that I wanted that same ease and serenity.
That was 4 years ago.
When I don't attend regularly I feel the difference.
When I hear those very same readings at the beginning of the meeting they are like an old friend and sometimes, because I am different, I hear something differently that I had not noticed before.
I always, always hear something at my meeting that I can take with me and mull over and find comfort or wisdom in until the next meeting.
I do struggle with continuing on with the steps without having a Higher Power, some days more than others. I try to not let this interfere with participating the best I can.
My AH has not changed one iota in those 4 years, other than he knows I am different and is a bit bewildered. (He never was violent/aggressive/abusive, just quiet and slinks off.) But now I have some joy where once there was none.
I didn't mean to write a book. Just my experience.
I was crying before I got out of my car. I was so tense, I felt brittle. This was it. I was going to publicly admit there was a problem of alcoholism in my home. I had tried everything I knew of, to no avail, and knew that he was worse and I was getting sicker and sicker. These people had to know what I should do to make it all stop.
I steadied myself, dried my tears and headed up the stairs to the meeting. I think my jaw dropped as I walked in and a warm and loving person up and hugged me and welcomed me. I'm not a huggy person and it was painful for me, and heart-melting too.
And there was laughter and more hugs, and more warm welcomes. That completely blew my plan to sneak into the back row and listen and sneak out again!
I couldn't see the words in the pamphlet through my tears to follow along so I tried to listen. Ah, yeah, the spiritual stuff. I had heard about that and decided to just try and get through it. (I didn't have a Higher Power then, and I still don't although I tried to be open to it - I had been raised in a church-going home, but it was all sort of left at church.)
The first meeting was sort of a soft blur, but I had heard to go to six before deciding.
By the second meeting I realized that they weren't giving me the concrete answers I needed to fix him.
By the third meeting I am realizing that they think I am part of the problem. Now I am pissed.
By the fourth meeting I am thinking...what....we do the same readings over and over each week?
By the fifth meeting I am wondering why some have been attending for so long? Don't they ever finish the program? Graduate? Get healed?
By the sixth meeting I realized that although I still cried, still had no Higher Power, still wondered how it all worked, I knew that I felt better after the meeting. I knew that some of these people had a quiet, easy strength, despite their woes, and that I wanted that same ease and serenity.
That was 4 years ago.
When I don't attend regularly I feel the difference.
When I hear those very same readings at the beginning of the meeting they are like an old friend and sometimes, because I am different, I hear something differently that I had not noticed before.
I always, always hear something at my meeting that I can take with me and mull over and find comfort or wisdom in until the next meeting.
I do struggle with continuing on with the steps without having a Higher Power, some days more than others. I try to not let this interfere with participating the best I can.
My AH has not changed one iota in those 4 years, other than he knows I am different and is a bit bewildered. (He never was violent/aggressive/abusive, just quiet and slinks off.) But now I have some joy where once there was none.
I didn't mean to write a book. Just my experience.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
