electricalguru

I am feeling very lost today. Just like most here we are the ones who have to pick up the pieces when the A leaves, while they carry on like nothing. My wife was such a great mother, wife, friend, lover, I could go on and on. Life seems to be so hard to carry on but I know it's best she filed for divorce and left me and the kids.

Rosiepetal

It's hard all right. Treasure the good times & ask yourself if the good times outweighed the bad or the other way around.
Big hugs.

Confetti

It is tough. Sending you hugs.

It is rotten situation. A's seldomly think of everyone else they are affecting. The truth is, they just can't. It is horrible for those left in their wake.

Take care of yourself and all the kidlets. They need your love and support.

WishingWell

I'm so sorry, especially for the children. Sending you such deep sympathy!

Florence

It's heartbreaking, isn't it?

We've been picking up the pieces for a long time. It's bittersweet to say so, because on the one hand we feel abandoned, but on the other hand, we have the ability and wherewithal to realize that pieces need picking up. Usually the As are so self-absorbed that they don't notice or won't acknowledge that they left messes in the first place. Or they disrespect us so much that they don't care about the toll it takes.

Be kind and gentle to yourself.

Tuffgirl

This has been my experience, but I am not sure they "know" like we think they do, but more so related to denial of the realities of the addiction. There are some, I'm sure, who simply don't care, but I think most choose to live in the denial that prohibits them from feeling shame for their life choices.

Hang in there, electricalguru. In time, this too shall pass and you won't feel lost, only sad when you think about what it could have been.

Florence

Agreed! That's what my lofty T.S. Eliot quote is about. We can't take responsibility because we can't face ourselves. It would be cooler if he could have kept that thought under 100 words. :P