NWGRITS

"Whenever you see your ex with someone else, just remember that our parents taught us to give our used toys to the less fortunate." Hopefully that makes you laugh a little. Also remember that he isn't capable of having real feelings for anyone. Someone else has simply taken your place in the vortex. You made out better in the deal. I know it's easier said than done, but it takes on average 3-6 months to recover for every year you were together. It won't happen overnight.

Lulu39

So for me that's like 5.75 - 12 YEARS away. I could be dead before then.

NWGRITS

I wanted to throttle my therapist when she told me that during my divorce. But, I still find myself having knee-jerk reactions to things that were part of my past relationship, and I'm still in that window after being with my ex for five years. It gets easier all the time, though.

NYCDoglvr

Withdrawing from any drug -- alcohol or another person -- is tough! It's one day at a time. I promise you things do get much better but it's a process. Alanon is a huge support, especially in the beginning.

Freedom1990

Before I started my recovery from codependency, my entire focus was on him, regardless of the fact he could not give me the healthy love I deserved.

When I got serious about my recovery, I gradually came to see that there were many folks who had always loved me, and still do!

I have a very small origin of family for love, but I have also found a tremendous amount of love in AA and Alanon. I know for a fact there are people at SR that love me!

No it's not the face-to-face sort of love here at SR, but I do very much feel a sense of connection to the folks here because I am them, and they are me.

I guarantee you are loved. Sending you hugs of support, dear!

itsmylifenow

I wanted to post a quick update.

It's amazing how a few weeks can change everything.

I spoke to another friend last night about xabf. Seems he ticked off the new gf by flirting with a new woman who had joined their group. He's been posting comments that are typical xabf and being his usual self.

Nothing made me feel as good as hearing that. I'm not in the same place I was a mere two weeks ago so it didn't bother me and I talked about him with quite a bit of detachment.

So, when it's said the A isn't going to change just because they are with someone else...I believe it. And, I feel sorry for her. And, so DAMN Happy for me!!