Drunklish

Old 10-14-2012, 12:50 AM
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Drunklish

In response to my "Do not contact me again unless it is to do with the children or to tell me you are going to de-tox or AA" email (I've had a barrage of them the last 24 hours) he sent this:


"Suit's me. So stop sending you're stupid emails and stop making you're stupid phone numbers."

OK. Whatever TF that's supposed to mean?
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Old 10-14-2012, 01:08 AM
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Well for one it means he doesn't know the basic difference between you're and your.

For two it means he's still drinking

For three it means you're a hell of a lot better without out him!

Lastly it means you have laid down the law and now need to follow through on the NC. Addict like to think they have control/power over you, prove to him that he doesn't.

Stay strong, sounds like you took a big step today.
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Old 10-14-2012, 01:14 AM
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It means he's feeling hot headed and self-righteous. He's also probably drunk.

I think my ex is sober and I still don't answer any of his emails unless there is a reasonable question in there, and even then I sometimes regret it.

He recently asked me how much $$ he owed on child support, saying he couldn't figure it out. I generally only answer questions that directly relate to the kids in some way and ignore all the rest. Like a complete dumb ass, I told him. Well it was apparently more than he thought so there was a barrage of emails. They were not nice and then he figured out that I was actually correct and then he still kept sending them. He was telling me about his expenses and purchases. Mind you I had sent one email, with nothing more then the calculations of child support owed. I didn't even make a comment about him owing it. So he said I wish I could quit contacting you. I am tired of telling you all this. blah blah blah. I finally got sick of getting all of those emails and replied. "I have never asked you one time how much money you have or what you spend it on. I don't care and it isn't any of my business." Mercifully the emails finally stopped - only because he is sober or the firestorm would still be going I imagine.

Based on my experience I would suggest ignoring that last email and all the emails to follow unless there is a pertinent piece of child related information that you need to respond to or information to share.

And I love the word Drunklish

hang in there. Things won't always be so bumpy. I was more and more able to detach from all that crap as time went on and this last round irritated me but a slight irritation is far from the turmoil it used to cause.

The telling him part was such a lapse into how I used to interact with him. He would always say he couldn't figure this or that out and I'd come rushing in with all the answers. I should have definitely just ignored that request and let him figure it out himself (which he did do because he didn't believe me) because in that split second - we were right back at dysfunction junction.
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Old 10-14-2012, 06:04 AM
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Yup... I got those angry drunken emails A LOT right after we first separated. Keeping myself under control and not responded showed him that I meant it when I said, "I'm DONE!"

It was so hard though because my ex knew all the buttons to push to get me to engage and play his stupid little game. In time (10 months later!) - it's SOOO much easier. In fact, it shocks me sometimes now how easy it is to not react. I look back and feel so bad for the old me... how easily she got swept up in the drunken $hitstorm.

Oh... and Thumper, my XAH does the SAME crap whenever the discussion of child support comes up!! He whines/pisses moans about how broke he is, all the expenses he has, blah-blah-blah. I used to engage and say, "Well it's your own damn fault! You blow all your money at the bar, on the huge stupid house, the damn pool..." (i could go on and on)... and then I realized that I was far better off just keeping my mouth shut. We have a court ordered agreement for a fair and reasonable child support. Pay it jerk. End of discussion.

Hee-hee!!! Hang in there Lulu!!
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Old 10-14-2012, 06:13 AM
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Lulu,

It seems to me like once a person lets them know in any sort of way that it's no contact, that they seem to ramp up contact. I'm not one to say a whole lot though, because STBXAH knows all my buttons and soon enough I answer him or call him. This time though it'll be easier, hopefully. Luckily he only sees the children once a month, so I can live the rest of the month in some sort of normalcy.

haha, drunklish! I might have to use that!
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Old 10-14-2012, 09:30 AM
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OMG---it is so true, for me. When interacting with with "crazy", it only takes a fraction of a second to land back in Dysfunction Junction!!!

It is always a repeat lesson for me that the more distance I put between myself and "toxic" or "crazy", the better my life is.

It is often easier said than done with one's kin and those we are obligated to have contact with.

I am related to so D*** many dysfunctional people!!! At my birth, I can remember the doctor whispering into my ear "You need to get to work on your boundries, kid!"

To this very hour, I am still hard at work on that.

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