mrsedeet

I have a 19 year old son who is an al-coholic and a drug dealer.

My husband found some of his "stuff" in his room and I had to ask him to leave our home for reasons on so many levels, with it being illegal and dangerous at the very top.

Although I've been attending al-anon meetings for the past year and we've had this issue come up in the past, each time something like this happens, I feel so drained and sad at the prospect that this will be his life forever.

Immediately the words detachment and tough love come to mind, but they don't seem to ease the sorrow I feel in my heart and getting all choked up thinking about his homelessness status.

Any thoughts and support is welcomed.

Thanks for listening and I hope to be a frequent visitor since writing tends to be very therapeutic.

Thanks for listening.

Lorelai

Welcome to SR. I know what you mean about the therapeutic aspects of posting on this board. The good news is that there are many, many people on the boards that offer support and advice also - plus a little fun. I'm sorry for your pain. I know that you will find support here. Keep coming back.
L

Daffodil

Hi and Welcome to SR.

I have been going to Al-Anon for a good many years now. I go mainly because when life is going good for me I still need the support and growth I get from the meetings, literature, and from my sponsor. In the good times I realize that life's happens are just around the corner and I will need my Al-Anon family then as now. Without such help it is far to easy for me to get right back into my family's lives. I cannot choose how they should live, that choice is theirs but I do want so much more for them than it appears they have at the moment. I try very hard to remember they are God's kids and He can go with them when I can't.

Keep coming back there is alot of support here on SR.

Love and prayers from one who cares,
Daffodil

Gabe

Hey mrsedeet! Welcome, I'm glad you joined us.
I know what you mean about writing being theraputic. And it's a lot cheaper than a therapist.
There are several Moms of addicts who post here who can share your particular perspcective on all this.
Stick around, you will find a lot of support and understanding here.
Peace,
Gabe

Magichappens

Hey mrsedeet,
Welcome to SR. This has been a great source of support for me, along with meetings. There is nothing that can comfort the sorrow we feel at addiction destroying our loved ones. We can only gain comfort in the support of our groups, friends who understand, and the faith that a higher power is caring for the loved one. The best I can do is to not let it consume my whole life. The sadness is still there, but today my life is not complete sadness. I am glad you found us. I will pray for your son. Hugs, Magic

Jeff_C

I hear ya, and I can relate. The “words� as applied to someone else seem to have a whole different meaning from when we struggle in the application to our own travails. The up side is that you’re well ahead of the game, and the “action� that you’ve taken speaks loudly and clearly of the ethic that it originates from. It’s said that “courage atrophies from the lack of use�, but you’ve used it, and of course it’s there. As the implications of your actions settle in, as long as you hold close to the program and the fellowship, your appreciation of your choices will continue to melt the fear. And that’s what t is ya know, fear.

It’s our fear, certainly not theirs. And although it swirls around “him� it’s of our making, tied inexorably to our “control� issues, even though you’ve taken appropriate action. Even now you’re walking through it, and each day will bring some miniscule relief , as you work the program as best ya can. Hang in there and build the trust that banishes fear You go, girl, ‘cause indeed you’re a powerful example.