help
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: rockford il
Posts: 3
help
So Idk where to start.. my x wife is a heroin addict it ruined our marriage until she finally admitted it and asked for help so I helped her and we clicked again enough to where I got out of a serious relationship to try and make things work with her ...so she did detox did a month of inpatient and is now in a recovery home and is 103 days clean and doing a good job the part that I can't come to terms with is how she acts towards me .. she is basically treating me like an unwanted dog when she's needs something I get it and take it to her basically she calls the shots and then ignores me when she doesn't need anything and I dunno what to do.. is this a normal thing that she will come put of eventually and I should stick it out or should I call it and move on.. she says she loves me but treats me like she wants nothing to do with me any advice is appreciated I'm just lost and dunno what to do feel freeto ask questions
To thine own self be true.
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
There's no way to know what she is going through, how she feels, how long she will be like this, what she will be like in the future, etc. I don't have much experience with folks whose DOC is heroin but I do know that is some serious stuff. I also know you need to take the BEST care of yourself as you possibly can. And if being her delivery man is hurting you, perhaps you should let her know it is too difficult for you to see her right now and you won't be coming up for a while, at least until you start to feel more secure and stable. Let her take care of herself and you take care of yourself.
(((hugs))) hope it gets better for you soon. Please keep coming here and posting. Also, there is a Friends and Family of Substance Abusers forum.
(((hugs))) hope it gets better for you soon. Please keep coming here and posting. Also, there is a Friends and Family of Substance Abusers forum.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: atlanta, ga
Posts: 3,581
I think the road to recovery is a long one.
She is now viewing the world with new eyes, ears, and emotions - everything is sensory overload.
I might akin it to having a stroke and then relearning to walk and eat - things we all take for granted but did have to learn to do.
As such she is having to learn you again. And the relationship. The person you have been with for as long as she has been addicted is no longer there. That is great, but she now has to learn HOW TO BE without the aid of her addiction.
This is a common issue I am afraid. Patience - right now her sobriety is the most important thing. It sucks for you and I am sorry it must be very hurtful - at the same time she is healing you too need to be healing. Nar-anon would be a great place to start. Take care of yourself now.
Hope the best for you!
She is now viewing the world with new eyes, ears, and emotions - everything is sensory overload.
I might akin it to having a stroke and then relearning to walk and eat - things we all take for granted but did have to learn to do.
As such she is having to learn you again. And the relationship. The person you have been with for as long as she has been addicted is no longer there. That is great, but she now has to learn HOW TO BE without the aid of her addiction.
This is a common issue I am afraid. Patience - right now her sobriety is the most important thing. It sucks for you and I am sorry it must be very hurtful - at the same time she is healing you too need to be healing. Nar-anon would be a great place to start. Take care of yourself now.
Hope the best for you!
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 548
If you really want it to work, just let her be on her own for a while. She needs to figure herself out before she worries about the two of you together.
103 days is great. Like, really great. She is doing the right thing. You can always step back for a couple of days or weeks, and say that you want her to focus on herself.
I may be a hopeless romantic, but I have always believed, if it is meant to be, it will be, no matter what the circumstances, time involved or time apart. I have always believed it, and still do, and sometimes that is the only thing that keeps me in my f-ed up relationship, because it will work out if it is meant to be, and it won't work out if it's not meant to be.
103 days is great. Like, really great. She is doing the right thing. You can always step back for a couple of days or weeks, and say that you want her to focus on herself.
I may be a hopeless romantic, but I have always believed, if it is meant to be, it will be, no matter what the circumstances, time involved or time apart. I have always believed it, and still do, and sometimes that is the only thing that keeps me in my f-ed up relationship, because it will work out if it is meant to be, and it won't work out if it's not meant to be.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: rockford il
Posts: 3
Well I figured out what's going on she's screwing around with 2 of the guys from her recovery home she won't admit it but she was sending them picture messages back and forth at 1am and I'm not a dummy so I told her I'm not gonna be around anymore and she never replied so I guess that's that.. still gonna go to a nar-anon meeting this coming week and see if I can get some.more advice and guidance but its time.to focus on me and my kids..... just hurts that its came to this again so much for soul mates
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: rockford il
Posts: 3
Yea I'm.planning on getting to the next nar-anon meeting and I picked up a couple books this weekend and set up an appointment with my lawyer to file papers for full custody.. . I figure all I can do at this point is to protect myself and my kids from her path of destruction
..I think.I've done more than any ex husband would by helping her get clean and I ended up getting screwed over again in the end.. but oh well at least she's clean
. For now
..I think.I've done more than any ex husband would by helping her get clean and I ended up getting screwed over again in the end.. but oh well at least she's clean
. For now
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