Does this sound like quacking to you? From my father: I've got a life threatening disease that at the very least is going to destroy my quality of life. The doctor told me I should talk to Mom about it, but Mom won't talk to me, says it not her problem. How can she be so cruel to me. My choices are bad and very bad. Take the treatment that will destroy my immune system and I start contracting anything that I get near, or destroy my ability to breath and die. You know the doctors visit is not going well when the doctors says I should get a living will. If I have a breathing crisis and they can't get me to the hospital in time, I'll get brain damage. My life really sucks now!! I can hardly see, I can't lift my arms, chew my food, and have a hard time breathing and Mom won't talk to me. I'm not going to able to get my own insurance to pay for treatment, so I guess I'll just f*ing DIE!! Maybe Mom wants me to die so she can collect my $300,000 life insurance policy. Maybe I should make you the benefactor. I don't even know. The part about the living will scares me, but I just don't know. |
Yeah, sounds like a duck to me.. Let him get the living will. No big deal, it will never be used unless it has to be, and in all reality, I think everyone should have one, because you never know when something may come up and people have no idea what your wishes are. |
Sounds a bit like quacking to me. Honestly, anyone with a family should have a living will. My husband and I both have one, just in case something were to happen to us. Our children will all be taken care of, and it won't be up to our families and the courts to figure it out. Living wills aren't anything unusual or scary. They're a way of protecting yourself now, in case of an unexpected disaster. |
Yup. Doesn't sound like a dying man to me. Faced with death, people tend to acquire a bit of humility. Desire to make things right. All I hear is me, me, me, I'm the victim, me, me, me. Oh, and the living will? Where I live, every time I go in to the hospital (like for a blood test or a mammogram), I get the question "Do you have a living will?" and when I say no, they follow up with, "Here is some information about how you create one. This is something we believe everyone should have, because if you need critical care, this will make it easier on your family to know what you wanted while you were able to make decisions." And I haven't been close to dying any of those times. |
Well my parents already had/have a living will...oh wait, I think I'm starting to "get it" now...the doctor told him to make one for HIMSELF, because the one from their marriage will be obsolete, and he twists things around telling me his "version" of the story. And WTF @ "maybe I'll make you the benefactor" I don't even know what to say to that. |
Originally Posted by lillamy
(Post 3619081)
Yup. Doesn't sound like a dying man to me. Faced with death, people tend to acquire a bit of humility. Desire to make things right. All I hear is me, me, me, I'm the victim, me, me, me. Oh, and the living will? Where I live, every time I go in to the hospital (like for a blood test or a mammogram), I get the question "Do you have a living will?" and when I say no, they follow up with, "Here is some information about how you create one. This is something we believe everyone should have, because if you need critical care, this will make it easier on your family to know what you wanted while you were able to make decisions." And I haven't been close to dying any of those times. |
Originally Posted by lillamy
(Post 3619081)
Faced with death, people tend to acquire a bit of humility. |
A living will is a practical thing to have, and the insurance money well you don't have to say anything do you? That's up to him. Don't let him "hook" you.
Originally Posted by choublak
(Post 3619089)
Well my parents already had/have a living will...oh wait, I think I'm starting to "get it" now...the doctor told him to make one for HIMSELF, because the one from their marriage will be obsolete, and he twists things around telling me his "version" of the story. And WTF @ "maybe I'll make you the benefactor" I don't even know what to say to that. |
Lets break it down. I've got a life threatening disease The doctor told me I should talk to Mom about it, but Mom won't talk to me, says it not her problem. My choices are bad and very bad. Take the treatment that will destroy my immune system and I start contracting anything that I get near, or destroy my ability to breath and die. You know the doctors visit is not going well when the doctors says I should get a living will. His acceptance of his health condition is his work to be done. If he would rather use it as a weapon in his manipulation arsenal then he'll do that but you can detach from that. My life really sucks now!! I can hardly see, I can't lift my arms, chew my food, and have a hard time breathing and Mom won't talk to me. I'm not going to able to get my own insurance to pay for treatment,so I guess I'll just f*ing DIE!! Maybe Mom wants me to die so she can collect my $300,000 life insurance policy. Maybe I should make you the benefactor. Hang in there. Break it all down. Respond with empathy when called for and completely ignore all the rest. |
First of all - he will receive treatment. It may not be the same as if he had insurance but he can get it. I am sure Mom isn't talking to him because he brought this on himself. Poor thing, one more thing to take care of - and what a chore that one will be. Sounds like he is just using it as an excuse for sympathy - it is sad though. I am sure 300k won't even touch what he has cost the family. Sorry you are going through this. |
first - I hate to hear of your dad's illness ~ whether it be real or embellished - it is still painful to deal with the reality of fragileness of our parents ~ second - I hate that your dad doesn't consider your pain in this process ~ that you will go thru some heartbreaking emotions and decisions should these things come to pass third - enforcing boundaries with my parent(s) is still my greatest challenge in recovery ~ baby steps are better than no steps at all ~ prayers for strength, courage and wisdom to know what is best to take care of YOU! PINK HUGS, rita |
choublak, a "living will" is about what he would want done to him (or not) medically in the event he is in a terminal vegetative/unconscious condition. It IS NOT about who gets HIS $$$ and stuff upon his death. That's just a simple "Will" but NOT the "living will" he was quacking about! :) |
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