Cutting down - real or imaginary progress?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: NC
Posts: 1,737
Originally Posted by SunnyFlower 
Hi Sundaygirl,
Do you have the AA Big Book? The first several chapters go into great detail about the the disease of Alcoholism. Many of your questions will be answered.
I'm glad you are actively busy taking care of yourself, Al-Anon is a great source of help!
Do you have the AA Big Book? The first several chapters go into great detail about the the disease of Alcoholism. Many of your questions will be answered.
I'm glad you are actively busy taking care of yourself, Al-Anon is a great source of help!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 44
I wish you were all wrong but you're not. He seemed tipsy last night and he's flat out drunk this morning (11.30am). I'm getting texts from him that follow a pattern that I remember from the summer: they swerve from challenging to soppy to irrational to angry. I'm sad and disappointed - but as you've all pointed out, it's idiocy to have expected anything different. When will I get the frigging message?
I've turned my phone off and I'm going to work, and then to my counsellor appointment. Right now I heartily wish this wasn't happening and I wasn't like you and I wasn't always wrong. But it is and I am. Stupid SundayGirl.
x
I've turned my phone off and I'm going to work, and then to my counsellor appointment. Right now I heartily wish this wasn't happening and I wasn't like you and I wasn't always wrong. But it is and I am. Stupid SundayGirl.
x
To thine own self be true.
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
SundayGirl, You're calling yourself names (your self-image is negatively affected) because you are trying to be in relations with a sick person. And you keep trying and trying. It's like trying to have a relationship with a kangaroo and expecting the kangaroo to do what we want. We walk up to the kangaroo, say good morning, and ask the kangaroo if he will put a pot of coffee on, and when he just stands there we get angry or upset and flail our arms, yell at him, or whatever. And the kangaroo thinks we're attacking him so he jumps up and kicks us across the room.
Do you stand up and go back? Try to convince him some more? Think "Oh, the kangaroo doesn't love me enough to make the coffee but maybe he'll make the bed?"
Who is the irrational one in this scenario? We continue to think that if only we were lovable enough, worthy enough, whatever enough, the kangaroo will love us and do what we want it to do. It makes absolutely no sense yet we waste years of our precious lives trying to make kangaroos show us what we should already know about ourselves: That we ARE loveable, we ARE worthy, we ARE loved. We don't NEED a kangaroo to prove it and the fact that kangaroos CAN'T does not mean anything regarding our worth.
Do you stand up and go back? Try to convince him some more? Think "Oh, the kangaroo doesn't love me enough to make the coffee but maybe he'll make the bed?"
Who is the irrational one in this scenario? We continue to think that if only we were lovable enough, worthy enough, whatever enough, the kangaroo will love us and do what we want it to do. It makes absolutely no sense yet we waste years of our precious lives trying to make kangaroos show us what we should already know about ourselves: That we ARE loveable, we ARE worthy, we ARE loved. We don't NEED a kangaroo to prove it and the fact that kangaroos CAN'T does not mean anything regarding our worth.
Iceberg Ahead!
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Out at Sea
Posts: 1,177
NOT "Stupid" SundayGirl!!! 
Just bitten, like we've all been, by the FAMILY disease of some person's alcoholism. Those who deserve it least of all are the ones bitten.
.
Amen!
Just bitten, like we've all been, by the FAMILY disease of some person's alcoholism. Those who deserve it least of all are the ones bitten.
Originally Posted by Learn2Live
We continue to think that if only we were lovable enough, worthy enough, whatever enough, the kangaroo will love us and do what we want it to do. It makes absolutely no sense yet we waste years of our precious lives trying to make kangaroos show us what we should already know about ourselves: That we ARE loveable, we ARE worthy, we ARE loved. We don't NEED a kangaroo to prove it and the fact that kangaroos CAN'T does not mean anything regarding our worth.
Amen!
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