EverHopeful721

I hate to say it, but there's no guarantee that this actually IS his bottom, or that he even HAS one - some don't. He may go to rehab, get out and go right back to drinking. I say this gently, but I think it's WAY too early to tell if this, indeed, is his bottom and if he is, in fact, serious about recovery. And if he is serious, he's got a LONG road and a LOT of hard work ahead of him that only he can do, by himself. As Lexie said, the best thing you can do right now is keep working on YOU - you've been doing a GREAT job of it so far!!

wanttobehealthy

Thank you for sharing your poem and subsequent updates. You sounded really good in the second to last update and maybe there's a middle ground between wondering if you want to take him back/ support him and staying away completely. You could tell yourself its ok to wait and see if that's what you want to do. Maybe he has hit his bottom
and will get well. But like LexieCat said continuing to create a peaceful life for you seems like the surest bet for now.

wicked

Best thing now, is take care of you.
Just you.
God has his plan for him, you know this, I felt it when you wrote it.
Let God handle this one.
You are not it.

You take care of you. Run to every AlAnon meeting you can find.

Beth

Sending strength and prayers to you.
Hang in there.

Argnotthisagain

Your story and description of what he's become is so powerful for me. Thank you.

1tiredchick

Thanks LexieCat... the deputy was called by the Crisis Team in the ER. He went to ER voluntarily (called me to take him there) and was put on suicide watch, they assessed him and found him a bed in a detox. The deputy had to take him there because he became a ward of the state upon assessment by the Crisis Team. The deputy then delivered him to the detox place. It's a 7 - 10 day detox and now he has told them to please send him somewhere to help him mentally and with rehab or he would not be able to stay sober. This is his 3rd detox in two years but never been to rehab. Something in me wants to hope, but something else wants to run like hell. So far I'm not really involved but was very emotional to watch all that take place. Thanks for your input and for caring... will surely not miss my Alanon this week!

1tiredchick

OMG I can't thank ALL you guys enough for the input... for reminding me of how this journey has been. His returning home is not an option and I have not even considered it. It's just the emotional upheaval of this all of a sudden stuff I wasn't ready for. You are so so right... this isn't my battle. I have no decision to make except to stand my applecart back up and keep pushing toward my own sanity and health. This is my AH's and God's business, and I can only watch from a distance. Thanks again to all.

LexieCat

I'm sure it WAS very emotional. Glad to hear he is safe, and hope that rehab helps him.

So my SUGGESTION is that you get back to your own recovery (glad you plan to make your meeting this week!), and resist the urge to contact him, call him, check on how he is doing. See what happens, take it a day at a time. He's in a safe place for now. And he's got lots of work to do (as do you). Let him do it, and let him turn for help to people who can REALLY help him--professionals and other alcoholics.

HopefulinFLA

Hi Tiredchick. My heart goes out to you. I hope everything works out just the way it should and you find the happiness you deserve. Love the poem! (must wipe tears from my face)