anxiety attack
 

So RAH is at work and I am am sitting at home having an anxiety attack worrying he will drink. It sucks not being able to trust him. I hate not being able to enjoy a relaxing evening.:c004:

So, what would you do, if he drank?

Would it really change anything?
Or would you just be alittle bit more upset?

Slow down and think about it.....

Are you not worth it, to have a good night?
Or, is it all about him and his drink?

He's gonna drink, no matter if your mad, blue in the face or crying
so why not say, "To heck with it - I'm gonna have a good night - No matter what"

Only YOU can make yourself happy....
Trust me, Ive learned that from living alone

If I wanna be bored, I will be bored
If I wanna be sad, I will be sad
If I wanna be happy, I will be happy
All by myself
:)

Your getting yourself all worked up over it isn't going to change a thing. If he wants to, he will drink, regardless of what you put yourself in a panic over.

You are too emeshed in his issues, might be time to let go of them and work on your issues, there is a reason that you obsess, dig deep and find out what it is.

Keep those meetings up, have you read Codependent No More? It is a good starting point.

Thank you. Picking that up this weekend. My therapist and s number of people here recommended it.

He's drinking ... he might drink tonight ... he might drink tomorrow ... he might drink if he's in early recovery ... he might drink, use or substitute even if he is recovering years down the road.

You're worrying ... worrying ... gonna worry ... and worry some more ... and worry forever. Epitaph: "RIP. She worries no more." Surely, that's not what you want for You or what you're going to let happen to Yourself. The choice is in your hands though because you can't count on the A.

Trust isn't the issue. What you're dealing with is an addiction. He's going to drink, use or substitute unless HE decides he no longer wants to and will not live this way, AND he works a recovery porgram diligently for life. Do you want to worry about his drinking, his decision AND his recovery too then? Surely not. TRUST me, that's where the path you're on will lead without a turnaround.

What you want is a recovery program for YOU, that will stop your addiction - codependency - obsessing about controlling or changing the A's behavior. The program I would suggest is Al-Anon. Read up here on SR about codependency too.

Attacking, caretaking, covering up, enabling, etc. ... worrying is just A BIG WASTE OF TIME AND ENERGY when the problem is alcoholism or addiction. Use that time and energy on YOU in a way that will make things better for yourself. That's not selfishness. That's self-care.

All the best to you. :)