Please help me save my mom :(
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: CT
Posts: 1
Please help me save my mom :( Hello All,
I am new to this forum and I am seeking some help. My mother is an alcoholic and when she drinks she becomes very angry and hateful. She has had several losses in her life (death of close family members) and other issues that have really given her a hard time. Also, she is a working professional, and I believe she just lost her job due to her alcoholism. (I do NOT believe she was drinking on the job, but her being sober is not a pretty sight either). I am at a point where I need to save her, I have already gathered some family support and have no idea where to turn. We have insurance and I would be able to get it covered for her to go impatient. I believe that is what she needs. She already admits that she won't be able to do outpatient treatment. My grandfather and uncle have died from alcoholism related issues. I do not want to loose my mother and I do not know where to turn. I really hope that someone out there can help my family and I and steer us in the right direction. I am so upset by this and her alcoholism is tearing my family apart. My parents have been married for almost 30 years, and I can't stand back and see her wreck her life, her marriage and her relationship with my sister and I.
Can anybody out there PLEASE help me? This is my last resort, because I honestly have no idea where to turn. Anywhere in the USA is fine????
-Desperate in CT
I am new to this forum and I am seeking some help. My mother is an alcoholic and when she drinks she becomes very angry and hateful. She has had several losses in her life (death of close family members) and other issues that have really given her a hard time. Also, she is a working professional, and I believe she just lost her job due to her alcoholism. (I do NOT believe she was drinking on the job, but her being sober is not a pretty sight either). I am at a point where I need to save her, I have already gathered some family support and have no idea where to turn. We have insurance and I would be able to get it covered for her to go impatient. I believe that is what she needs. She already admits that she won't be able to do outpatient treatment. My grandfather and uncle have died from alcoholism related issues. I do not want to loose my mother and I do not know where to turn. I really hope that someone out there can help my family and I and steer us in the right direction. I am so upset by this and her alcoholism is tearing my family apart. My parents have been married for almost 30 years, and I can't stand back and see her wreck her life, her marriage and her relationship with my sister and I.
Can anybody out there PLEASE help me? This is my last resort, because I honestly have no idea where to turn. Anywhere in the USA is fine????
-Desperate in CT
Bunnies!
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,905
Welcome to SR. I'm glad you've found us, but I'm sorry for the reason you're here. Unfortunately, you can't save an alcoholic who doesn't want to stop drinking. If she doesn't want to go to rehab, it won't do any good. I know that's not what you wanted to hear, but we're not going to lie to you. If hauling our A's off to rehab was the solution, this group wouldn't exist. I suggest getting yourself to an Al-Anon meeting as soon as possible. Educate yourself about the disease of alcoholism and how you can find peace and setenity amidst the chaos. For many of us, that peace was only found through going No Contact with our A, or detaching. Some have managed to stick around by working their own program. No two people here are the same, but our collective knowledge and experience is here for you to tap in order to help yourself.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Hello Thor, and Welcome!
It is so painful to watch someone we love be so self-destructive. It is a helpless feeling that so many of us know--and have lived.
The extraordinarily sad truth is that no amount of cheering, 'helping', cajoling, reasoning, begging, pleading, nagging, or tears will get an alcoholic to stop drinking. Only when and IF the consequences of drinking become more painful than the thought of being without the alcohol will some alcoholics decide--on their own--to quit. Recovery from alcoholism and addiction is totally an inside job.
One thread that really helped me when I first arrived here is this:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html
It helps to learn all about alcoholism and recovery. Many members here are also attend Al-Anon meetings (for the friends and family of alcoholics vs. AA) and find that the face-to-face support of people who really get it to be invaluable.
Please pull up a chair, make yourself at home here....read and read and ask questions! You are among folks who really understand!
It is so painful to watch someone we love be so self-destructive. It is a helpless feeling that so many of us know--and have lived.
The extraordinarily sad truth is that no amount of cheering, 'helping', cajoling, reasoning, begging, pleading, nagging, or tears will get an alcoholic to stop drinking. Only when and IF the consequences of drinking become more painful than the thought of being without the alcohol will some alcoholics decide--on their own--to quit. Recovery from alcoholism and addiction is totally an inside job.
One thread that really helped me when I first arrived here is this:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html
It helps to learn all about alcoholism and recovery. Many members here are also attend Al-Anon meetings (for the friends and family of alcoholics vs. AA) and find that the face-to-face support of people who really get it to be invaluable.
Please pull up a chair, make yourself at home here....read and read and ask questions! You are among folks who really understand!
Iceberg Ahead!
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Out at Sea
Posts: 1,177
Hazelden, Betty Ford, Mayo Clinic, The Refuge in FL etc etc if you we're just looking for some national names.
Get to Al-Anon meetings asap yourself. Read up here on SR.
Keep coming back & posting. Peace
Get to Al-Anon meetings asap yourself. Read up here on SR.
Keep coming back & posting. Peace
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Welcome to SR, th0r. I am very sorry for your situation that has brought you here, but I hope you find this place helpful as I have.
Hydrogirl posted a great link above, and here's another one to read, as well: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-families.html.
Is your Mother asking you to help her find a rehab to go to? If yes, I'd suggest first she call her insurance company. If no, then you may want to reconsider your search.
This is a very difficult situation to be in, watching someone you love ( and need in your life) self-destruct. But remember, she is a grown up and can make her own decisions...she can also find recovery and rehabs on her own. Try to step back a little. No one can "save" your Mom but herself. And first, she has to want to be saved.
Take good care,
~T
Hydrogirl posted a great link above, and here's another one to read, as well: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-families.html.
Is your Mother asking you to help her find a rehab to go to? If yes, I'd suggest first she call her insurance company. If no, then you may want to reconsider your search.
This is a very difficult situation to be in, watching someone you love ( and need in your life) self-destruct. But remember, she is a grown up and can make her own decisions...she can also find recovery and rehabs on her own. Try to step back a little. No one can "save" your Mom but herself. And first, she has to want to be saved.
Take good care,
~T
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
