So Angry, Hurt and Sad.................
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Join Date: Feb 2007
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What is EFT LifeRecovery? and EMDR?
Originally Posted by LifeRecovery 
My goal is to not upset....and I am not sure if my previous post did that or not (those darn emotions can be hard to interpret sometimes written vs in person). If this does/I did please just ignore.
I am taking a class called Tension Releasing Exercises. I have also been doing a lot of body centered therapy which has helped me to move out of the frozen trauma response into reality again.
I learned last night in the Tension Releasing class that the hormone floods that happen in "frozen" is opiate-like or "numbing" substance. That is the purpose of frozen. When we tend to resort to other trauma responses like fight or flight the numbing chemicals are not as present and others are.
For me both this class, meditation, and the body centered therapy taught me how to deal with the trauma, sit with it and eventually unwind it and move through it. I did not do EMDR but I have heard it can assist with similiar results (I do use EFT on occasion).
I also really got a lot out of Waking the Tiger by Levine (I think Stephen or Peter is the first name). I just loaned mine out. The class last night also mentioned one called The Body Bears the Burden which seems to especially be about the frozen part of trauma.
I am taking a class called Tension Releasing Exercises. I have also been doing a lot of body centered therapy which has helped me to move out of the frozen trauma response into reality again.
I learned last night in the Tension Releasing class that the hormone floods that happen in "frozen" is opiate-like or "numbing" substance. That is the purpose of frozen. When we tend to resort to other trauma responses like fight or flight the numbing chemicals are not as present and others are.
For me both this class, meditation, and the body centered therapy taught me how to deal with the trauma, sit with it and eventually unwind it and move through it. I did not do EMDR but I have heard it can assist with similiar results (I do use EFT on occasion).
I also really got a lot out of Waking the Tiger by Levine (I think Stephen or Peter is the first name). I just loaned mine out. The class last night also mentioned one called The Body Bears the Burden which seems to especially be about the frozen part of trauma.
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Join Date: Feb 2007
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And you didn't upset, I'm reading about ACOA Trauma and how it affects us in adult years if we don't deal with it so any insight anyone else has to offer I appreciate it.
Originally Posted by LifeRecovery
My goal is to not upset....and I am not sure if my previous post did that or not (those darn emotions can be hard to interpret sometimes written vs in person). If this does/I did please just ignore.
I am taking a class called Tension Releasing Exercises. I have also been doing a lot of body centered therapy which has helped me to move out of the frozen trauma response into reality again.
I learned last night in the Tension Releasing class that the hormone floods that happen in "frozen" is opiate-like or "numbing" substance. That is the purpose of frozen. When we tend to resort to other trauma responses like fight or flight the numbing chemicals are not as present and others are.
For me both this class, meditation, and the body centered therapy taught me how to deal with the trauma, sit with it and eventually unwind it and move through it. I did not do EMDR but I have heard it can assist with similiar results (I do use EFT on occasion).
I also really got a lot out of Waking the Tiger by Levine (I think Stephen or Peter is the first name). I just loaned mine out. The class last night also mentioned one called The Body Bears the Burden which seems to especially be about the frozen part of trauma.
I am taking a class called Tension Releasing Exercises. I have also been doing a lot of body centered therapy which has helped me to move out of the frozen trauma response into reality again.
I learned last night in the Tension Releasing class that the hormone floods that happen in "frozen" is opiate-like or "numbing" substance. That is the purpose of frozen. When we tend to resort to other trauma responses like fight or flight the numbing chemicals are not as present and others are.
For me both this class, meditation, and the body centered therapy taught me how to deal with the trauma, sit with it and eventually unwind it and move through it. I did not do EMDR but I have heard it can assist with similiar results (I do use EFT on occasion).
I also really got a lot out of Waking the Tiger by Levine (I think Stephen or Peter is the first name). I just loaned mine out. The class last night also mentioned one called The Body Bears the Burden which seems to especially be about the frozen part of trauma.
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Join Date: Feb 2007
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He's gone too long, up to a month, I work and have my own family here.
Originally Posted by WishingWell
Why can't this just all be a typical husband and wife spat? ALL marriages have fights. Every married couple hurts each others feelings at times. And there are always two sides to every argument -
Why not go to Arizona with him?
Why not go to Arizona with him?
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: rural Germany
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My husband also travels a lot for work. When I first met him, he was travelling for business about 10 months of the year. So I knew from the beginning that he wouldn't be home a lot.
After we got married, my husband cut back for the sake of our relationship. He actually went to work for another company with a clause in his contract that he wouldn't travel for more than 26 weeks in a year. It ended up actually being a lot less travel, and I noticed that my husband was getting bored always going to the office or working in the lab. He just wasn't happy, and when his old company called and asked him to come back, I could see that he really wanted to go back. So we had several long discussions, and in the end we decided to make the move. I had to accept that my husband just isn't a desk guy. He tried for my sake, and wasn't happy.
I would think back to your guy's working pattern when you first met. Is his absence new or was it always that way? Did he make a special effort at first to accommodate your lifestyle and is now just returning to his own previous working pattern? Is there a financial reason? Is there something going on in his family at the moment? Does he even think of Thanksgiving as a big deal? Many families don't celebrate it at all and in the US it is on a different date, meaning that Americans are working a normal day on the Canadian Thanksgiving. How would you feel if he expected you to take the time off for American Thanksgiving and drive or fly 1000 miles for a weekend?
I can understand your disappointment, but I don't see it as being any different from what many other couples have to deal with. All long distance relationships usually have similar problems regarding holidays and schedules. And if one partner always remains put while the other does all the travel, then there is an imbalance.
I would often fly out and meet my husband for a week or two in some country, stay with him in his hotel, and then go back home. Would it be possible for you to go along on one of his trips? And what about US Thanksgiving? What plans have you made to accommodate his holiday?
I just don't see it as specifically an addiction problem. Many couples living and working in two different countries are dealing with the same problem.
After we got married, my husband cut back for the sake of our relationship. He actually went to work for another company with a clause in his contract that he wouldn't travel for more than 26 weeks in a year. It ended up actually being a lot less travel, and I noticed that my husband was getting bored always going to the office or working in the lab. He just wasn't happy, and when his old company called and asked him to come back, I could see that he really wanted to go back. So we had several long discussions, and in the end we decided to make the move. I had to accept that my husband just isn't a desk guy. He tried for my sake, and wasn't happy.
I would think back to your guy's working pattern when you first met. Is his absence new or was it always that way? Did he make a special effort at first to accommodate your lifestyle and is now just returning to his own previous working pattern? Is there a financial reason? Is there something going on in his family at the moment? Does he even think of Thanksgiving as a big deal? Many families don't celebrate it at all and in the US it is on a different date, meaning that Americans are working a normal day on the Canadian Thanksgiving. How would you feel if he expected you to take the time off for American Thanksgiving and drive or fly 1000 miles for a weekend?
I can understand your disappointment, but I don't see it as being any different from what many other couples have to deal with. All long distance relationships usually have similar problems regarding holidays and schedules. And if one partner always remains put while the other does all the travel, then there is an imbalance.
I would often fly out and meet my husband for a week or two in some country, stay with him in his hotel, and then go back home. Would it be possible for you to go along on one of his trips? And what about US Thanksgiving? What plans have you made to accommodate his holiday?
I just don't see it as specifically an addiction problem. Many couples living and working in two different countries are dealing with the same problem.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
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EFT is called Emotional Freedom Technique. I learned it in a therapy session...but many here have learned it on the internet.
EMDR is a type of therapy. I don't know what it stands for but many therapists if they have a trauma work background they are trained in it. I think a number of people on here are using it and getting a lot out of it.
EMDR is a type of therapy. I don't know what it stands for but many therapists if they have a trauma work background they are trained in it. I think a number of people on here are using it and getting a lot out of it.
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