Protecting 8 yr olds from insanity. . .
Living in a Pinkful Place
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
Protecting 8 yr olds from insanity. . .
Wouldn't you love to wrap the emotional welfare of your precious little ones in bubble wrap to keep them safe. . .
But we all know in this world today - especially ours affected by this disease - we are unable to do that ~
Therefore, I am learning, I can continue my path by teaching thru example and short lessons the tools of this program to our granddaughter. . .the more I share with her & Mr. PINK, the more I learn. . .
She continues to reach out for love, support, affection, time, and all those other things she wants not only from us, but from her other grandparents and from her dad. . . sometimes she gets it sometimes she doesn't
As much as I can on an 8 yr olds level, I'm trying to explain Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again yet expecting different results. To look for these things she needs from unhealthy resentful people will only lead to disappointment. She can't make them want to spend time with her, she can't make them MAKE time for her ~
Mr.PINK & I agreed last nite - we are truly the lucky ones & they are losing so much ~ She is quite an entertaining enjoyable young pre-teen ~ with a sweet compasionnate nature ~ a very witty sense of humor ~
So as the old recovery saying goes . . . you can't get bread at a hardware store, but my friend - you still need bread ~ teaching our little ones to know that there is a healthy place to find the bread they need is a tough task but hopefully they will learn it much younger than we did ~
So for all you out there with little ones - whether you be a parent, grandparent or great-grandparent, aunt/uncle - however it may be ~ please know I recognize how difficult the struggle is - especially without the support of those who could be helping you ~ Hang in there!
Don't give up ~ you are doing a wonderful job - just because YOU are there for them!
PINK HUGS!
Rita
But we all know in this world today - especially ours affected by this disease - we are unable to do that ~
Therefore, I am learning, I can continue my path by teaching thru example and short lessons the tools of this program to our granddaughter. . .the more I share with her & Mr. PINK, the more I learn. . .
She continues to reach out for love, support, affection, time, and all those other things she wants not only from us, but from her other grandparents and from her dad. . . sometimes she gets it sometimes she doesn't
As much as I can on an 8 yr olds level, I'm trying to explain Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again yet expecting different results. To look for these things she needs from unhealthy resentful people will only lead to disappointment. She can't make them want to spend time with her, she can't make them MAKE time for her ~
Mr.PINK & I agreed last nite - we are truly the lucky ones & they are losing so much ~ She is quite an entertaining enjoyable young pre-teen ~ with a sweet compasionnate nature ~ a very witty sense of humor ~
So as the old recovery saying goes . . . you can't get bread at a hardware store, but my friend - you still need bread ~ teaching our little ones to know that there is a healthy place to find the bread they need is a tough task but hopefully they will learn it much younger than we did ~
So for all you out there with little ones - whether you be a parent, grandparent or great-grandparent, aunt/uncle - however it may be ~ please know I recognize how difficult the struggle is - especially without the support of those who could be helping you ~ Hang in there!
Don't give up ~ you are doing a wonderful job - just because YOU are there for them!
PINK HUGS!
Rita
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Central O-H-I-O
Posts: 1,689
Thank You!!
This is what I needed today!! Thank you!
Every day I wonder if Wife will improve, or if she'll progress further into the disease, and in that wondering, I fear most of all for my precious 2.5-year old who is the sweetest, most-loving child I've ever met.. (Okay, maybe a SLIGHT bias, but I'm allowed).
But, by golly, I'm going to make sure he knows some sort of normalcy in his life, and learn all the good things there are to be found in this World.
Thanks again!
C-OH Dad
Every day I wonder if Wife will improve, or if she'll progress further into the disease, and in that wondering, I fear most of all for my precious 2.5-year old who is the sweetest, most-loving child I've ever met.. (Okay, maybe a SLIGHT bias, but I'm allowed).
But, by golly, I'm going to make sure he knows some sort of normalcy in his life, and learn all the good things there are to be found in this World.
Thanks again!
C-OH Dad
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 145
Thank you for this, Rita. I wish we could all live in a pink world. What a difference we could make in the lives of everyone if children didn't have to suffer the effects of addicted and/or negligent parents.
This forum should be mandatory reading for parents-to-be.
This forum should be mandatory reading for parents-to-be.
Iceberg Ahead!
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Out at Sea
Posts: 1,177
Good job! There are a lot of things from our Al-Anon or recovery program we can teach our little ones ... better yet if we model the behavior! 
The slogans are an easy, not heavy-handed way to integrate the concepts. There's also humility, hope, honesty, Higher Power, help, HALT and happiness! There's learning to accept the things we can't change and to change those we can so we don't waste a boatload of time, resources and energy. Learning where I leave off and others begin; what's my responsibiity and what isn't. Balance too.
P.S. I liked what you suggested to NikkiNox, as well as how they are looking out for their little one.
The slogans are an easy, not heavy-handed way to integrate the concepts. There's also humility, hope, honesty, Higher Power, help, HALT and happiness! There's learning to accept the things we can't change and to change those we can so we don't waste a boatload of time, resources and energy. Learning where I leave off and others begin; what's my responsibiity and what isn't. Balance too.
P.S. I liked what you suggested to NikkiNox, as well as how they are looking out for their little one.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 391
Rita,
I needed this today. I had a difficult morning with my 9 and 11 year old. I was not exactly the parent I wanted to be this morning and am feeling pretty low. STBAXH was just in town for 4 days had his first (supervised) visit with them in 3 months. It went ok but I don't think I slept more than 8 hours in those 4 days worrying that he would be drunk and knocking on our door in the wee hours. We were all on edge.
I'm so tired and my strength and patience tanks need to be refilled. I do pretty well most times - but indeed, today was a struggle.
Your post helped me forgive myself and focus on getting back on track.
Hugs (pink ones),
MamaKit
I needed this today. I had a difficult morning with my 9 and 11 year old. I was not exactly the parent I wanted to be this morning and am feeling pretty low. STBAXH was just in town for 4 days had his first (supervised) visit with them in 3 months. It went ok but I don't think I slept more than 8 hours in those 4 days worrying that he would be drunk and knocking on our door in the wee hours. We were all on edge.
I'm so tired and my strength and patience tanks need to be refilled. I do pretty well most times - but indeed, today was a struggle.
Your post helped me forgive myself and focus on getting back on track.
Hugs (pink ones),
MamaKit
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,349
Thank you Rita for this share! My 13 year old is old enough to judge right from wrong but when it comes to his A father, he struggles. Putting him in counseling was the right decision for him.
So many times I feel like I'm failing my son and I worry so much about the alcoholism that is inherited through my AH's family. I am working hard to educate my son to the dangers of alcohol and through counseling we're working with him to learn to stand up for himself and to not break to peer pressure, etc. I lift my son up to my Higher Power daily, just as I do for my AH.
So many times I feel like I'm failing my son and I worry so much about the alcoholism that is inherited through my AH's family. I am working hard to educate my son to the dangers of alcohol and through counseling we're working with him to learn to stand up for himself and to not break to peer pressure, etc. I lift my son up to my Higher Power daily, just as I do for my AH.
Iceberg Ahead!
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Out at Sea
Posts: 1,177
You're taking him to Alateen as I recall. That's a big one. Also, take a peek at that thread on what kids learn in the home-school of addiction so you can see what messages NOT to allow.
Some of the important messages to get across to children in A homes may be: "You matter. Your feelings matter. Express how you're feeling. These A problems are not your fault. You just be a kid. It's okay to ask for help. You are loved. You are a good kid. You be who you are. I am here for you anytime, just ask. Your HP is always with you."
Some of the important messages to get across to children in A homes may be: "You matter. Your feelings matter. Express how you're feeling. These A problems are not your fault. You just be a kid. It's okay to ask for help. You are loved. You are a good kid. You be who you are. I am here for you anytime, just ask. Your HP is always with you."
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