Answers...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: tiverton ri
Posts: 1
Answers...
Never in a million years would i ever imagine myself looking for answers from complete strangers on a forum. I guess when you feel like you cant talk to anyone else you actually know you do this. Since i was 7 years old this is how i felt. Like i could talk to nobody. Im 27 now married to a great guy with a 3 yr old beautiful daughter. Although im happy with my little family i still have a lot of anxiety when it comes to my parents.
When i was 7 years old camping with my aunt and her friends is when it all began. They thought i was sleeping in the tent but i wasnt. I overheard her talking about how messed drugs my parents where. I was obviously horrified and destroyed..years and years went by and all i could think of is who would die first. I never dared to speak of this to anyone not my grandparents not school councilors..absoultly no one. I wasnt a dumb kid..infact i knew if i spoke a word i would be taken.away along with my little brother. I did not want that. I loved my parents. I still do.
They got clean. For awhile, years but my Dad slipped up here and there. For the most part clean. Now being married with a daughter grown up and married i still have to deal with their issues. I dont have to i should rephrase that. I dont have to do anything but i choose to. Some people may ask why but honestly i dont know why i cant help worrying about them afterall they are my parents who i love dearly.
They dont do drugs anymore but now they drink pretty heavily. My Mom loves her wine and of course my Dad loves his beer. At first i said oh heck a few drinks arent so bad atleast its not herion. Now i think differently. My parents have an addictive personalty. I should have seen it coming.
My Mom and i where so close she was my maid of honor for crying out loud. But she went real over board with her wine and decided she wanted to leave my Dad. So she did for a couple of weeks..than i had my dad calling and crying to me and it broke my heart piece by piece. My Dad even cut himself over it. Said afterwards how sorry and stupid he was and that he only did it for attention. Wanted my Mom to love him again after she left him and told him she didnt love him anymore really screwed him up.
Sorry my long boring story is alomost done..make a long story shorter my mom went back andthe drinking hasnt stopped on both parts. They fight and im scared. Havent i gone thru enough already? When can i get a break? Im scared.
When i was 7 years old camping with my aunt and her friends is when it all began. They thought i was sleeping in the tent but i wasnt. I overheard her talking about how messed drugs my parents where. I was obviously horrified and destroyed..years and years went by and all i could think of is who would die first. I never dared to speak of this to anyone not my grandparents not school councilors..absoultly no one. I wasnt a dumb kid..infact i knew if i spoke a word i would be taken.away along with my little brother. I did not want that. I loved my parents. I still do.
They got clean. For awhile, years but my Dad slipped up here and there. For the most part clean. Now being married with a daughter grown up and married i still have to deal with their issues. I dont have to i should rephrase that. I dont have to do anything but i choose to. Some people may ask why but honestly i dont know why i cant help worrying about them afterall they are my parents who i love dearly.
They dont do drugs anymore but now they drink pretty heavily. My Mom loves her wine and of course my Dad loves his beer. At first i said oh heck a few drinks arent so bad atleast its not herion. Now i think differently. My parents have an addictive personalty. I should have seen it coming.
My Mom and i where so close she was my maid of honor for crying out loud. But she went real over board with her wine and decided she wanted to leave my Dad. So she did for a couple of weeks..than i had my dad calling and crying to me and it broke my heart piece by piece. My Dad even cut himself over it. Said afterwards how sorry and stupid he was and that he only did it for attention. Wanted my Mom to love him again after she left him and told him she didnt love him anymore really screwed him up.
Sorry my long boring story is alomost done..make a long story shorter my mom went back andthe drinking hasnt stopped on both parts. They fight and im scared. Havent i gone thru enough already? When can i get a break? Im scared.
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Welcome to the SR family!
I'm glad you found us, but sorry for the reasons that brought you here. This is a wonderful resource of support and information.
We have several area's that may be of help to you. This area for Friends and Family of Alcoholic, The Friends and Family of Substance Abusers forum as well as the Adult Children of Alcoholics forum.
Here is a link to the ACOA forum:
Adult Children of Addicted/Alcoholic Parents - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
This one tends to be more active, so stick around. I find lots of good reading in the sticky posts (older permanent posts at the top of each forum section). Some of our stories are also in those stickies.
You have been through a lot in your young life. I think you are doing a great job of trying to help, while also trying to care for your own family. I think it is okay to let your parents work on their side of the street for a while and give yourself permission to focus on your own needs for a bit.
I'm glad you found us, but sorry for the reasons that brought you here. This is a wonderful resource of support and information.
We have several area's that may be of help to you. This area for Friends and Family of Alcoholic, The Friends and Family of Substance Abusers forum as well as the Adult Children of Alcoholics forum.
Here is a link to the ACOA forum:
Adult Children of Addicted/Alcoholic Parents - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
This one tends to be more active, so stick around. I find lots of good reading in the sticky posts (older permanent posts at the top of each forum section). Some of our stories are also in those stickies.
You have been through a lot in your young life. I think you are doing a great job of trying to help, while also trying to care for your own family. I think it is okay to let your parents work on their side of the street for a while and give yourself permission to focus on your own needs for a bit.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Right here, right now!
Posts: 3,424
Welcome, though I am sorry for what brought you here.
In addition to what Pelican wrote I learned a lot about addiction from reading about it with books from the local library. It helped me to get an idea of what was mine and what was not.
Finally thought I don't live there any more I hail from the same state, and when I am home visiting family I go to some great Al-Anon meetings (for friends and families of alcoholics). I have not looked to see if there is Nar-anon meetings (for friends and families of drug addicts) in the area. This was the link I used the last time I was home
RI-Al-Anon
Keep posting, keep asking great questions, and I am glad you found us.
In addition to what Pelican wrote I learned a lot about addiction from reading about it with books from the local library. It helped me to get an idea of what was mine and what was not.
Finally thought I don't live there any more I hail from the same state, and when I am home visiting family I go to some great Al-Anon meetings (for friends and families of alcoholics). I have not looked to see if there is Nar-anon meetings (for friends and families of drug addicts) in the area. This was the link I used the last time I was home
RI-Al-Anon
Keep posting, keep asking great questions, and I am glad you found us.
Iceberg Ahead!
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Out at Sea
Posts: 1,177
By going to Al-Anon and leading by example, you can obtain the tools to recover Yourself and that may inspire them to get help through AA.
As we say in Al-Anon, put YOUR oxygen mask first because you need it before you can hope to help or inspire anyone else in the family. It is a family disease and Al-Anon will give you a program and the tools that you need in your situation. $1 a meeting is what most put in (but the contribution, if any, is voluntary). People who have been there will share their Experience, Strength and Hope with you.
Peace.
As we say in Al-Anon, put YOUR oxygen mask first because you need it before you can hope to help or inspire anyone else in the family. It is a family disease and Al-Anon will give you a program and the tools that you need in your situation. $1 a meeting is what most put in (but the contribution, if any, is voluntary). People who have been there will share their Experience, Strength and Hope with you.
Peace.
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