Still angry
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Right here, right now!
Posts: 3,424
ZiggyB-
I sense sometimes in your posts some underlying "shoulds"
I should not be angry anymore (I think it is less than six months since this has all hit).
I should be able to find a good relationship (non-addict) to be in relationship with from another post.
I just want to say that all the work I see you doing, the questions I see you asking etc is the hard work that will get you to those goals, and that what feels yucky is cleaning out of all the old to make way for the new. I hope that makes sense.
I sense sometimes in your posts some underlying "shoulds"
I should not be angry anymore (I think it is less than six months since this has all hit).
I should be able to find a good relationship (non-addict) to be in relationship with from another post.
I just want to say that all the work I see you doing, the questions I see you asking etc is the hard work that will get you to those goals, and that what feels yucky is cleaning out of all the old to make way for the new. I hope that makes sense.
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: dublin ireland
Posts: 14
i do get like this ,i have my moments when im so determined to keep him out of my head,start a new page, im not gonna let him torment me anymore,i deserve better...it doesnt last long tho. i get a txt from him or i see a place that reminds me of him,and all the hurt/anger comes rushing back, i have a little girl with him, we wanted a little family more than anything....so everythime i see a loving couple with a child all the pain comes back. that was supose to be me...as soon as i found out about his addiction he changed into this evil man, he would lie,blame me for his lies because if i was more understanding he woudnt feel the need to lie,in the end he left me out of the blue for another addict 
again i was to blame coz i was too hard on him and always demanded answers so i pushed him away. i dont know what i've done wrong. i know i shoudnt torment myself but i cant help it,and he wont let go of me eighter even tho he's with someonelese he still says he wants to work things with me...i think he's using i have no proof but i just know it from his behaviours, he's all over the place and his moods change in a microsecond. i know i shoudnt even listen to his rants but i cant help it i've been seeing a counsellor for the last 8-9 months..not much has changed tho
again i was to blame coz i was too hard on him and always demanded answers so i pushed him away. i dont know what i've done wrong. i know i shoudnt torment myself but i cant help it,and he wont let go of me eighter even tho he's with someonelese he still says he wants to work things with me...i think he's using i have no proof but i just know it from his behaviours, he's all over the place and his moods change in a microsecond. i know i shoudnt even listen to his rants but i cant help it i've been seeing a counsellor for the last 8-9 months..not much has changed tho
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Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,295
For me, the answer was not what you think it probably is--which is somehow miraculously "getting over them", as if some time bomb goes off in your head and it says "I'm done with that schmuck!"
It didn't work that way for me. What did work was anything that made me feel good about myself. Achievement really ranks high. Personal or professional. The way to lift yourself up when someone has knocked you down is to do something on your own that you can be proud of.
Throw in no-contact, keeping yourself busy, and kicking them out of your head when you realize you are thinking about them (when there's billions of other far more interesting things to think about in life) and STOP letting them rent space in your head for free.
There's no need to be angry about someone if you aren't even thinking about them...what can you do to better your life so that you aren't thinking about them? How can you stay busy and focused on your goals? That men often throw themselves into their work is not a bad strategy...women should try it more often.
Throw in the woman's way of lifting yourself up too. Make new friends. Call friends you've neglected. Do some kind thing for a stranger, and strike up convos in the grocery store check-out line. Pet a dog. Straighten a neighbor's blown over chair.
Read that book that you have that is getting dusty and you really want to read it. See that movie. Buy that CD, and blare it in your car. Get that outfit, that hairdo, those shoes. Start fast walking. Clean that skanky bathtub, lol
Really! It works!
It didn't work that way for me. What did work was anything that made me feel good about myself. Achievement really ranks high. Personal or professional. The way to lift yourself up when someone has knocked you down is to do something on your own that you can be proud of.
Throw in no-contact, keeping yourself busy, and kicking them out of your head when you realize you are thinking about them (when there's billions of other far more interesting things to think about in life) and STOP letting them rent space in your head for free.
There's no need to be angry about someone if you aren't even thinking about them...what can you do to better your life so that you aren't thinking about them? How can you stay busy and focused on your goals? That men often throw themselves into their work is not a bad strategy...women should try it more often.
Throw in the woman's way of lifting yourself up too. Make new friends. Call friends you've neglected. Do some kind thing for a stranger, and strike up convos in the grocery store check-out line. Pet a dog. Straighten a neighbor's blown over chair.
Read that book that you have that is getting dusty and you really want to read it. See that movie. Buy that CD, and blare it in your car. Get that outfit, that hairdo, those shoes. Start fast walking. Clean that skanky bathtub, lol
Really! It works!
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Chicago
Posts: 5,450
Originally Posted by MadeOfGlass 
For me, the answer was not what you think it probably is--which is somehow miraculously "getting over them", as if some time bomb goes off in your head and it says "I'm done with that schmuck!"
It didn't work that way for me. What did work was anything that made me feel good about myself. Achievement really ranks high. Personal or professional. The way to lift yourself up when someone has knocked you down is to do something on your own that you can be proud of.
Throw in no-contact, keeping yourself busy, and kicking them out of your head when you realize you are thinking about them (when there's billions of other far more interesting things to think about in life) and STOP letting them rent space in your head for free.
There's no need to be angry about someone if you aren't even thinking about them...what can you do to better your life so that you aren't thinking about them? How can you stay busy and focused on your goals? That men often throw themselves into their work is not a bad strategy...women should try it more often.
Really! It works!
It didn't work that way for me. What did work was anything that made me feel good about myself. Achievement really ranks high. Personal or professional. The way to lift yourself up when someone has knocked you down is to do something on your own that you can be proud of.
Throw in no-contact, keeping yourself busy, and kicking them out of your head when you realize you are thinking about them (when there's billions of other far more interesting things to think about in life) and STOP letting them rent space in your head for free.
There's no need to be angry about someone if you aren't even thinking about them...what can you do to better your life so that you aren't thinking about them? How can you stay busy and focused on your goals? That men often throw themselves into their work is not a bad strategy...women should try it more often.
Really! It works!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: SAN FRANCISCO
Posts: 1,176
Originally Posted by MadeOfGlass
The way to lift yourself up when someone has knocked you down is to do something on your own that you can be proud of.
Throw in no-contact, keeping yourself busy, and kicking them out of your head when you realize you are thinking about them (when there's billions of other far more interesting things to think about in life) and STOP letting them rent space in your head for free.
Throw in no-contact, keeping yourself busy, and kicking them out of your head when you realize you are thinking about them (when there's billions of other far more interesting things to think about in life) and STOP letting them rent space in your head for free.
But I was thinking earlier about all the times he dumped on me, made fun of me, pulled some arrogant and haughty attitudes, disapproved of my hobbies and interests and even the books I would read. This was 3 years of my life, why did I put up with it for so long?
In the future I will see him as a bloviating as* that he is, and everytime I picture him or one of his criticisms coming out of his mouth I am just gonna say to myself "blah blah blah" and laugh about it.
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