FoxInSocks

Today it will be 2 weeks that my now RAH has not had a drink. He has stuck to what he set out to do by going to his meetings, meditation, got his **** together basically. We have talked for hours and hours about everything and which direction we want our marriage to go in. I think after 2 weeks(I know its not long) of not having a family or a home has made him rethink about his actions and how much harm they have caused to us all. For the first time he has actually admitted that what he has done is wrong plain and simple, no excuse this time for behaviour or actions which has been good for me. Usually he would always blame what ever or who ever on why a drama happened so I think he has finally opened his eyes and can see a little clearer now. His opinion on drinking has changed completely...it was not that long ago he was saying he wanted to get to a stage where he could drink again and be in control but now that has changed. He is now saying he needs to stay away from alcohol for ever as he can not risk having even one drink. He just seems so much calmer and there is no longer that feeling of tension as he is no longer irritated and angry, which I think comes from no longer taking medication he was given to help him deal with anger issues and stress(which since taking them even though there was a change in behaviour for the worse all the Dr did was up the dose...which after reading up on it can cause a lot of the symptoms my RAH was showing).
Anyway, he has now been home for 2 nights and everything has been lovely. We still have a lot of work to do and he knows he still has a long way to go for himself.
I have told him I will be as supportive as I can be but if he stops going to any of his things he now has in place he is out for good, if he drinks one more time he is out for good, there will be no more chances, no more excuses, he has had a small taste of what life with out his family will be like and he hated every second of it.
I am really hopeful that things will work out for us and that we can all work on maintaining a happy and healthy relationship.
Thank you for being a support to me when all my friends either went into hiding or thought my husband needed them more and I would be fine.
Wishing you all a beautiful day and a lifetime filled with joy
x

kewlgurl

Wishing you the best of luck in your journey!

WishingWell

Good news, one day at a time!! It's takes time and is work, but when a family can recover - there is much to celebrate!

outonalimb

I'm happy for you Fox! Miracles CAN happen. Just keep working on YOU. I don't know if you attend al anon but if you do...keep going...and if you don't...I urge you to give it a try.
You've got alot of healing to do to. Alot of it! Alocholism is a FAMILY disease. Keep working on you and your recovery so that no matter what choices your AH makes in the future, YOU will be okay.
Prayers for continued peace and recovery...

WishingWell

There is one thing that I needed to remember. I hated hearing it, still hate hearing it but it was drummed into my head by my therapist, an addiction specialist, and in books, Alanon . . . and they were right in our situation.

Relapse is a part of recovery.

And for many, not all, recovering addicts it is true. Regardless of what addiction they are recovering from. One step at a time . . .

FoxInSocks

Thank you WishingWell, I do hope he can stay away from alcohol for ever...if he does slip up and have a drink I will be sending him on his way though as I do not want that kind of life for myself or my two little boys. I have had enough drama and tears to last me a life time.
I can only do whats right for me which is to live a life free from someone who abuses alcohol and I have now got round to telling my family and that when they do come over to visit us there will be no alcohol at all in my house or anywhere on my property which they are very supportive of.
I'm hoping that with what I have set up as rules for myself will help me if or when he ever does have a drink. I am in the process of writing a contract which will make sure that if he does drink again everything that we own and 60% of his earning until he dies is mine(no matter if we are divorced and I re marry) and he is very happy to do so. I do feel if he keeps up with it we both win and have a nice happy family life, if he screws up then at least I have secured mine and the boys future!
I am keeping our passports
I have set up my own bank account with enough money in it for a few months
I now know where to go for help/advise and what to do
I have told family and few friends what the deal is
I know I can live by myself if I need to
I know I can look after the boys and get them to school on time with out anyone
I am now also taking time for me to get in to my astronomy and joining a club
I will be learning to drive so I have more freedom
So far everything is going well, its still very early days and only time will tell if it was the right choice but right now it does feel like its the right thing and I'm very happy.