New At This And Not Sure What To Do
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Dunedin, FL
Posts: 18
Originally Posted by Thumper 
I'm glad she is in the hospital.
The best thing you can do for yourself and your children is to let her get the help she needs there and you focus on your situation at home. Keeping afloat will be possible if you focus on you, your children, your job. She is in the hospital now and when she gets out she needs to finish what she started (because hospitalizations are crisis intervention, not recovery) and do so in a way that will not send your home spinning.
It is hard for kids to have a parent out of the home but it is actually harder on kids to have their worlds spun around with a parent in/out/in/out/in/out trying to get their act together. I would have her stay out until she is very very stable in the real world, not the hospital, in my opinion - which is totally non-professional and worth what you paid for it
The best thing you can do for yourself and your children is to let her get the help she needs there and you focus on your situation at home. Keeping afloat will be possible if you focus on you, your children, your job. She is in the hospital now and when she gets out she needs to finish what she started (because hospitalizations are crisis intervention, not recovery) and do so in a way that will not send your home spinning.
It is hard for kids to have a parent out of the home but it is actually harder on kids to have their worlds spun around with a parent in/out/in/out/in/out trying to get their act together. I would have her stay out until she is very very stable in the real world, not the hospital, in my opinion - which is totally non-professional and worth what you paid for it
You've had quite a month. Take some time to find some equilibrium for you and the kiddo's. IME that does not happen overnight.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Welcome to SR, Ash. Wow - you certainly have a full plate. I don't have much to add that others have not already said, but I do highly recommend a book titled Under the Influence. It helps to understand that alcoholism is a medical problem first and foremost. Sure, emotional problems are often at the core - but the compulsion to drink becomes a brain issue. Anyway - just read the book, its available via e-book on Amazon.com.
And I want to say that although you have your hands full right now, you've held things together quite well. Four kids under the age of 6...two of them young babies. I am impressed. I hope you can take a moment every day and feel proud of yourself for managing it all.
I do believe your fiance is acting as if she knows she needs to get a grip on this, and is flailing as to how. Hang in there, as we like to say here, more to be revealed.
Take good care,
~T
And I want to say that although you have your hands full right now, you've held things together quite well. Four kids under the age of 6...two of them young babies. I am impressed. I hope you can take a moment every day and feel proud of yourself for managing it all.
I do believe your fiance is acting as if she knows she needs to get a grip on this, and is flailing as to how. Hang in there, as we like to say here, more to be revealed.
Take good care,
~T
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Dunedin, FL
Posts: 18
Originally Posted by Tuffgirl
Welcome to SR, Ash. Wow - you certainly have a full plate. I don't have much to add that others have not already said, but I do highly recommend a book titled Under the Influence. It helps to understand that alcoholism is a medical problem first and foremost. Sure, emotional problems are often at the core - but the compulsion to drink becomes a brain issue. Anyway - just read the book, its available via e-book on Amazon.com.
And I want to say that although you have your hands full right now, you've held things together quite well. Four kids under the age of 6...two of them young babies. I am impressed. I hope you can take a moment every day and feel proud of yourself for managing it all.
I do believe your fiance is acting as if she knows she needs to get a grip on this, and is flailing as to how. Hang in there, as we like to say here, more to be revealed.
Take good care,
~T
And I want to say that although you have your hands full right now, you've held things together quite well. Four kids under the age of 6...two of them young babies. I am impressed. I hope you can take a moment every day and feel proud of yourself for managing it all.
I do believe your fiance is acting as if she knows she needs to get a grip on this, and is flailing as to how. Hang in there, as we like to say here, more to be revealed.
Take good care,
~T
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: ny/nj
Posts: 182
IMHO-Run. Fast and far. Taking care of 4 small children, even on welfare is a walk in the park compared to riding out her addiction. Just my opinion, and I know it is harsh.
Maybe without any framework from which to drink herself silly every night (roof over her head, food, electricity, money) she will address her alcoholism. Then again, maybe not.
I agree with an earlier poster-in my experience, even daily wine drinking doesn't cause someone to seize from withdrawal. Without treatment and sobriety, alcoholism is progressive, meaning it goes downhill from here. She sounds pretty far down the hill already.
I speak from the other end of the story. 20 long years walking in the wrong direction with my A.
Good luck, protect those kids.
Maybe without any framework from which to drink herself silly every night (roof over her head, food, electricity, money) she will address her alcoholism. Then again, maybe not.
I agree with an earlier poster-in my experience, even daily wine drinking doesn't cause someone to seize from withdrawal. Without treatment and sobriety, alcoholism is progressive, meaning it goes downhill from here. She sounds pretty far down the hill already.
I speak from the other end of the story. 20 long years walking in the wrong direction with my A.
Good luck, protect those kids.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Central O-H-I-O
Posts: 1,689
Originally Posted by Ashconsebzoe
Again, I'm very lucky I have the support of both my family and hers, if not I have no idea how I'd be able to do this.
Good work
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
