quillan68

In the final couple years of our relationship, my SBXAW started to exhibit signs of very confused thinking and memory loss when she combined alcohol and xanax. Sometimes she would go into very confused states where she was incoherent, other times she would become almost infantile and just point and look at clouds like she was a little kid. Many times she would not remember conversations, sometimes pretty significant or important ones. She confided to me that her boss often criticized her work and asked her if she had some sort of mental disability - my SBXAW is very intelligent, but she really does struggle with even simple tasks when she has both alcohol and xanax in her system. I am struggling to understand what happened. I know she chose alcohol and benzos over our relationship, that she is gone, and that I need to accept it, but I feel like it would help me to understand the situation and to let go if I know that others have had a similar experience with a spouse to deteriorated so rapidly due to the alcohol/benzo combination.

BlueSkies1

What Are the Dangers of Mixing Xanax® and Alcohol?

Rumor has it Whitney Houston died from this combination.

Tuffgirl

So sorry to read your story, quillan. I have little experience with this, except for my Mom, who regularly mixes her bi-polar meds with alcohol. She just doesn't drink much, which I am sure helps to prevent what you describe above.

It's just terribly sad to watch, huh? And understanding...well...how can we, as rational adults, understand the irrational? I think accepting it is the best any of us can do. I understand addictions now, but I still don't understand the distorted thinking that leads people to make the choices they make. To me, its a choice. But I accept it as it is, which makes giving it all up that much easier.

Justfor1

2+2=4. But alcohol + Xanex (benzos)=8 The blackouts are very severe when one combines the two drugs. Also, the central nervous system slows down way too much. A few beers & when combined with benzos can make the person stagger around.

Katiekate

Benzos and alcohol are cross tolerant, and both incredible addictive, it's an over load, completely dangerous and life threatening.

TeM

I don't think my AW takes Xanax, but she takes Prozac and 15 or so other prescription meds. She clearly has an addictive personality, plus a bit of hypochondria. I think she's been enabled by doctors over the years who know what all she's taking, but apparently have some incentive to push certain medicines. I think the medicines have lowered her tolerance to alcohol, so that she gets drunk faster than normal people do. She has a drinking buddy who drinks like a fish, but apparently handles it better.

So far, AW hasn't shown any signs of mental deterioration when sober, but assumes a zombie-like stupor when drunk. I can sympathize with your situation; it is frustrating and maddening to watch your life partner destroy herself like that.

I also know how painful it is to have a spouse choose alcohol over the family. If it was just me, I'd understand; I ain't all that. But, she's also chosen it over her daughter(20), whom she loves more than anything in the world. Daughter isn't handling it well... she still thinks we should be able to make her stop.

justrae83

My ex had a very hard time with this combo. Thats all he took was xanax and drank, he too would be out of it and slur his words and pass out. One time the combo was so and the amount was so bad he was taking, that on our five year anniversery he had 3 seziurs and almost died beucase he ran out on our trip. His body went into shock from not having the drug.

SO sad to see people wasting there lives so they can numb whatever it is they feel. I would watch out for the amount she is taking... my exabf was taking so much more then i thought cuz i was not with him all the time...then when he did finally go to rehab they though he was brain dead

WishingWell

Whitney had cocaine in her system, too. Not to say that a person cannot die from mixing pharmaceuticals and alcohol. We can, and do.

Did you know that the number 1 killer in the USA is no longer car accidents? It's prescription drugs.

Titanic

Alcohol and benzos can doubly compound their sedative, depressant or anti-anxiety effects. At the same time, they affect different neurotransmitters to the brain, which gets its signals crossed. That's why different behaviors can appear depending on the "formula" ingested. Don't forget that factors such as time since last meal, rapidity of consumption, food intake, physical activity, prior rest, quantity, and weight complicate the equation.

All sorts of chemically caused physical, psychological and personal effects follow on top of the usual addiction-related ones. Blackouts, decreased breathing, decreased heart rate, depression, fatigue, flighty or risky sexuality, fog, infidelity, irritability, lack of communication, lethargy, loss of focus, memory loss and consequent "recreation," passing out and consequent injuries, relationship indifference or termination ...

Cyranoak

...and the real issue is why do you need to understand it more than you need to understand yourself in the relationship so you don't replicate it with another woman?

But, here's the answer: because she is an alcoholic drug addict and her behavior was and is 100 percent consistent with being... wait for it... an alcoholic drug addict.

If that doesn't make sense to you then don't worry-- you can always replace her with another alcoholic drug addict-- they are a dime a dozen and they'll strap on the first enabler they can find.

Take care,

Cyranoak

Hypatia

Err, I didn't know that car accidents or prescription drugs had ever become the number 1 killer in the USA. I thought heart disease followed by cancer were usually the number 1 and 2.

Where did you find the new stats? I'm curious.

fluffyflea

Benzos,anti-depressants and alcohol were my combo the last year and half of my drinking and using and it took me down big time in 18 months. So it goes fast and furious.

Earthworm

WishingWell

Oh dumb, you're right! Prescription drug deaths now outnumber car accident fatalities - not heart attacks and cancer.

It's very frightening what's happening.

LA TIMES > While most major causes of preventable death are declining, drugs are an exception. The death toll has doubled in the last decade, now claiming a life every 14 minutes.

Fueling the surge in deaths are prescription pain and anxiety drugs that are potent, highly addictive and especially dangerous when combined with one another or with other drugs or alcohol. Among the most commonly abused are OxyContin, Vicodin, Xanax and Soma. One relative newcomer to the scene is Fentanyl, a painkiller that comes in the form of patches and lollipops and is 100 times more powerful than morphine.

Such drugs now cause more deaths than heroin and cocaine combined.

Learn2Live

They are still numbers 1 and 2. Followed by lung, then stroke. Accidents are pretty far down the list.