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How to deal with an alcoholic father ?

Old 09-12-2012, 07:00 PM
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How to deal with an alcoholic father ?

Hi everyone !

My Dad is an alcoholic and has been one since I am born. We don't have a good relationship because everything has to work his way but it doesn't always make sense so we get into fight. My Mom knows about his drinking problems and when I talk to her about it she says she prefers to avoid it because she doesn't want him to get upset. I am a drug addict myself and I thought about talking to my Dad about my problem and asking him to come with me to a NA meeting or an AA meeting but it is hard to do. Each time I have the strenght to talk about my problem, he tells me he doesn't have time for me or he doesn't have time to listen to me. I really want to help him but I don't know where to start. I would like to get some advice

Thanks
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Old 09-12-2012, 07:15 PM
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Welcome to SR! I don't know yet if you've posted in the Adult Children of Addicts/Alcoholics section, since I haven't made my way there tonight. Start working on your own recovery first before approaching your dad. You may find it's not quite time yet, or that it may even be a futile effort if he's not in the space of wanting recovery for himself. You should be your own main focus, as I'm sure you know that no one can change your dad but him.
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Old 09-12-2012, 07:36 PM
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Thank You !
I have been working on my recovery. I am 105 days sober but I still struggle a lot. I know I should be my main focus but I want to help him. I don't know if he realizes he has a drinking problem so I thought if he could listen to me maybe he would realize he also has a problem and he needs to do something about it. But I don't know how to get his attention
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Old 09-12-2012, 07:40 PM
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It's gotta be hard being in recovery and wanting the same for someone you love. Chances are that he doesn't recognize a problem and won't be too receptive to the thought that he does. How would you have reacted before you hit your turning point? I'll bet you probably would have been a bit angry and resentful to whoever said something to you. It's a lot to think about.
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Old 09-12-2012, 07:46 PM
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I would have been angry. So I should just let him hit his rock bottom and not say anything ? Like my mother does right ?
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Old 09-12-2012, 07:49 PM
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Originally Posted by sobernowornever View Post
I would have been angry. So I should just let him hit his rock bottom and not say anything ? Like my mother does right ?
You're working on your own recovery for yourself, so you're taking a healthier tack with this. Yes, you need to let him hit his bottom on his own. Do you know if your mom has looked into Al-Anon?
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Old 09-12-2012, 07:50 PM
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I strongly suggest just working on you. Keep your sobriety a focus. You will change and be an example.

My friend is in AA and her daughter is not. Her daughter, 27, is in a bad way. There is nothing my friend can do right now except pray, keep herself sober and reach out to others. Not until her daughter wants recovery, nothing will change. It is difficult for her to watch.

Pray on it and keep yourself sober.

With much love and big hugs,
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Old 09-12-2012, 07:52 PM
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No she has not
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Old 09-12-2012, 07:53 PM
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Thank You sugarbear.
It is really hard to do but I'll try
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