Titanic

Emily, you are the sister I would want to have if I were in his condition.

God bless & keep both of you well!

Emily123

Thanks everyone. Today is a new day. Just waiting for a councilor to call me back. I don't know if I've done right or not, but I decided that maybe I can put my brother's alcoholic enabling friend to use....afterall, he claims he's in love with her. I talked to her and told her he could get a bed in detox tomorrow if he phoned and said he wanted it. He might listen to her....she says she'll get him to phone and will even drive him there. Both are liars...but really, think this is his last chance. He needs to go there and stay the full term and hopefully, some of his brain functions might return. I know he wouldn't let me take him there. She won't stay away from him anyway (but doesn't love him in a romantic way) so my thinking is if he goes great, if he doesn't go well, at least there is someone else other than me to be with him.

Titanic

Sounds risky and as if you're not detaching. You do have plenty of LOVE for him though!.

Emily123

Well, the councilor that called was for me. She agreed that detachment is required but is a process and can't happen overnight. From talking to me she thinks I'm on the right road. I just phoned my brother (sounds sober) and right now he's phoning detox and telling them he wants a bed. He will call me back as soon as that has been done. Fingers crossed.

Titanic

Glad YOU'RE finally being supported and helped! ****{Emily}}}

Emily123

My brother died today. He had a bed in detox for tomorrow. One day too late. If anybody reads this thank you all for your help when it was needed. I wish you all the best with your struggles and hope your loved ones get the help they so very need.

Lulu39

Oh Emily. I'm so sorry.

He knew you loved him. Remember that. XXXXX

laurie6781

I am so sorry for your loss.

Sending healing prayers for you and his children.

Please feel free to continue to post as this too will be a very hard time for you to
get through and many of us here do have some ES&H (Experience, Strength and
Hope) to share which can help.

Love and hugs,

BunnyNest

I am so sorry Emily. Be gentle with yourself. You did all you could do.

Emily123

Thank you. I can't sleep. I was the one who found him and I can't get the picture of his body out of my mind. He was on the floor with an unopened bottle of vodka still in the bag under his head like a pillow. How ironic. It wasn't broken so I don't think he fell. I can't really figure out what happened. His door was wide open and I walked in a right past him to see if he was in his bedroom....nope. I checked the kitchen and bathroom and then I started to know inside what I always dreaded would happen. I went back to the livingroom and he was on the floor parallel to the couch. I know he must have just come in from the liquor store and didn't even have a chance to close the door.

I worry for his children. Not only are they grief-stricken, but they both feel such guilt because they refused to to see or talk to him in the past few months and my brother missed them terribly. They will both need help, and I don't know what to say to them to make them feel better. I told them that he knew they loved him, and I did tell him often that they did but they just couldn't stand to see him kill himself. I don't have to deal with that guilt because I still phoned him everyday and did everything I could to help him get help. I'm dealing with anger at detox because he was on the list for over 3 weeks, and I begged them try to get him in sooner because he was going to die. I even had his doctor trying to get them to get him in sooner, but no, they wouldn't budge rules are rules you know. Now I have to phone them in the morning to say he won't be coming in because he died. Maybe next time this happens, they will show some compassion and bend their rules once in awhile. Thanks for listening to me spout off. It helps. Wish I could sleep though...going to be a busy day tomorrow.

Zoenob

I am so very sorry. You and his children are in my prayers.

Titanic

Emily, you are an angel. Everyone around you is touched by your love and caring. He is finally at peace. His children will know that. All you can do is to continue being close with them. May God bless all of you with serenity and togetherness. Peace.

redatlanta

God Bless you I am so sorry this has happened to you. Prayers for you and your family.

Hopeworks

Emily,

My deepest sympathy to you and his children. While it is so very, very sad that he was scheduled for detox please know that that was a very slim chance that he would have embraced authentic recovery at the very late stage of his alcoholism.

If you and his children had moved in and begged and pleaded 24/7, put him under 24/7 surveillence it likely would have only prolonged his life for a period and everyone would have been in complete misery during the Mexican standoff.

My father also died alone with a drink in his hand estranged from his family. Please let his kids know about ACOA (Adult Children of Alcoholics) and that finding a good counselor well versed in addiction would be helpful for them.

Thank you for sharing your story with us...trust me it will help many that read it on this website. Keep coming back... we care.